What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

And did you have to treat them?

I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement.

Thanks for sharing ?

Since I am 33 weeks pregnant, I "get" to do triage a lot these days.... so I am hearing all the complaints. After almost 10 years of being an ER nurse, I've just about heard them all.... until last week. There was a guy whose primary reason for being in the ER at 2am was to get "dried out"....oh yeah, and by the way, could we CLEAN HIS FINGERNAILS for him? I did put that on the triage note, just to give my co-workers a laugh. :)

We had a guy come in who was taking antabuse. (disulfuram) He stated that he had been drinking and was now ill and wanted to be seen.

The doc examined him, told him that the medication was working, don't drink, go home.

I was tempted to say, "Here's your sign" :rotfl:

I had a guy a few nights ago with sore arms. Now you might think muscle breakdown? fever? odd chest pain? But no....he had been fishing with his Dad that day and came in at 1am because his arms were sore.

No- he didn't take any Motrin beforehand...how ridiculous of you to think that. :D

Now why in the world would a person take Motrin by themselves at home if they know they can get it at their local friendly ER? Oh and I'm sure he hadn't eaten all day either and where was his dinner tray please?

This sounds like our E.R. in the

Chicago ghetto!!

Gee, let's see:

-broken acrylic nail

-child vomited once, now sitting on mom's lap eating chips and drinking coke

-laceration too tiny to be seen by the naked eye ("it was bleeding just a minute ago" as patient squeezes the alleged laceration trying to make it bleed again)

-totally well, but needing a work excuse for a sick day sometime last week

-child sleeping all day (up all night crying the night before)

-prescription refill (could be anything from bp meds to oxycontin)

-viagra request

-mosquito bite (yup, just a plain old mosquito bite with no allergic reaction or infection)

-child "lethargic" (mom's words) as kid is running up and down the hall and, you guessed it, eating chips and drinking coke

this is not a lie. i was in triage. this guy brought his girlfriend's bed sheet and asked us to do a DNA test on the stain. He thought his girlfriend was cheating on him. It took every ounce of energy not to bust out laughing and smack that fool for stupidity.

ooooh! i got another one. i saw this lady peeing standing up! and i'm sure it was a woman. she was peeing on to a bed pan that was on the floor. The 30 year old son was trying to keep the curtains closed cuz he was kind of embarrassed that his mom was peeing like a man! HIPPA's not being violated is it?

Woman living in an Assisted Living....called EMS to bring her to the ER for....get this....to change her diaper! And.....after getting her into a room and checking her diaper....it was clean.

Called EMS to come back and take her home.

A middle aged male pt with a good sized mackerel loged in his rectum. I guess he didn't know that fins only go one way, it made for very a interesting CT scan.

That's life In San Francisco.

RiNtime

Last night in the wee am hours.....I inhaled my crack pipe!!!!:chuckle

Also last night. pt. brought by EMS passed out, officer escort, the problem...pt. too drunk to go to jail!!!:rotfl: SO THATS HOW YOU GET OUT OF IT!!

i took care of a patient when she got out of icu - she had inhaled the brillo pad used as a filter on her crack pipe. it stuck in the back of her throat and her boyfriend attempted to dislodge it using a screwdriver! she ended up with multiple lacerations and potentially life threatening swelling as a result. takes all kinds :uhoh3:

Specializes in ICU,ER.
i took care of a patient when she got out of icu - she had inhaled the brillo pad used as a filter on her crack pipe. it stuck in the back of her throat and her boyfriend attempted to dislodge it using a screwdriver! she ended up with multiple lacerations and potentially life threatening swelling as a result. takes all kinds :uhoh3:

Darwinism at its finest.

Specializes in Emergency room, med/surg, UR/CSR.
Darwinism at its finest.

And what are you doing up at this hour young lady?! :chuckle Shouldn't you be resting and gestating? :chuckle Have a good leave!!

Miss you,

Pam

Specializes in ER, ICU, L&D, OR.

Just had one come in by EMS with a large blister on his member

Dx too much time in front of a computer with Media and cybering

Me, I had no sympathy for him

Specializes in ER.

had a 20-something female arrive via EMS for a headache for the past 1/2 hour. didnt take anything OTC for it. 2 tylenol and she was on her way when the headache resolved about 20 minutes later. she asked for a dinner tray. i gave her the D/C papers and told her there was a McD's around the corner.

i wasnt too suprised to see she was on the free care list.

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