What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

And did you have to treat them?

I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement.

Thanks for sharing ?

Someone, whose post I read....don't read this stuff if you're queasy when you first get up.

I'm getting kinda sick.

Maggots and tampons gross me out.

This happened just last night and I'm still shaking my head.

64 year old male (let's call him Bert) is brought into ER by ambulance at 0300. It has not been a good night in the little ER and I am really tired and a bit cross that this frequent flyer has come up to the hospital by ambulance once again. He has a psych history and is on a few of the more interesting meds.

EMS can only tell me that Bert won't tell them why he needed an ambulance to come in - he was dressed and standing outside of his residence when they arrived. The crew is female and he said it was too embarassing. When he registers at the front desk with our female clerk - same thing, too embarassing.

As soon as I see him I start feeling just a bit more unhappy.

I take him into a quiet chairs area and ask him why he needed to come in at 0300 by ambulance. He says that he wants a male nurse - :angryfire. I tell him it's me or nobody.

He says that he has been home and felt the urge to masterbate. . The first time he "got no relief" so he called the nursing hot line. He tried again 4 more times, each time without getting relief and each time he called the nursing hot line for help. I can just hear the frustration in their voices as they finally told him to "Seek medical help at the hospital". He even tried putting on Stompin' Tom Connors western music (guess it has a beat) and wasn't able to get any relief, so he came up to emerg for help.

After clarifying that there was no problem with breathing, no loc, no chest pain, no priaprism, no blood, I kinda lost it. I told him that I couldn't help him, that I wasn't a prostitute and that I didn't get paid enough to help him out.

My poor on call doc (also female) was doubled over in laughter as I came back through the door. All night long, through the lacs and the suicidal women and the chest pains and so on you could hear one of us snickering about calling the local radio station for more Stompin' Tom.:chuckle

Specializes in ER.

Brilliant! I wonder if the government would be willing to make up some "how to masturbate" pamphlets to avoid spending $$ on extra ER visits. I betcha it would qualify as a disablility if enough people complained...

Perhaps community health nurses could hold some teaching classes. But they would have to be trained by their administrators-oh the mind boggles..

Brilliant! I wonder if the government would be willing to make up some "how to masturbate" pamphlets to avoid spending $$ on extra ER visits. I betcha it would qualify as a disablility if enough people complained...

Perhaps community health nurses could hold some teaching classes. But they would have to be trained by their administrators-oh the mind boggles..

:rotfl: :rotfl: oh the mental pictures!!!

Last noc when I went to work, the nurse that I was following was giving me report and telling me that he sent a pt to the ER. He said, "I am such a dumba**, I sent her out because I went to replace her foley and all this blood came out. " The ER doc called him back and said that she was having her period. We are so used to taking care of old ladies, we're a little out of sync, I guess, I told him that I probably would have done the same thing! :smackingf :lol_hitti

This stuff makes me so angry! :( I went to the local ER and they dismissed my pain. They thought it was GERD. It took me three hours to tell this resident that it wasn't GERD. I have had GERD all my life(birth defects). They got me a cat scan nothing showed. Later on that year I found out that I had gallstones by an ultrasound. Anyone had a gallbladder attack? OMG I haven't had children yet, but if it is anything like that I will ok. I was in the ER for 10 hours. I repeat 10 hours. Then I got the physicans report for other tests they might run to see what was done. She accused me of drug seeking and lord forbid if I was sleeping. I was up for two days with the pain and they gave me phenergan. It's just amazing what people will do to go to the ER and people who really need the medical treatment is screwed over. I might add that I work on SIMCU at the hospial as an CNA and I attend nursing school (BSN). It's just another world out there I guess.

I have that same prob Gallbladder Stuff holy crap it hurts huh?

Specializes in MICU, SICU, PACU, Travel nursing.

had an icu pt who was really stable. he was allergic to everything but one narcotic and needed frequent doses. i think he was in for a low h&h awaiting egd the next day. anyways he left ama, he walks out "to get a snack"after signing the form, and disapears before we can even wheel him down to discharge and get his wallet [with 250 bucks in it] from security. so i took another admit and later the secretary says the pt is on the phone asking for me. says he made a terrible mistake, he is on such and such street, can i come and get him. i said hang up and call 911. i guess he did. the er called me wanting to know what was going on with this guy. he sat down there for 9 hours before coming right back to our unit. i was glad another nurse took him.

I'd mentioned my own personal story elsewhere, but on the lines of people being in ER for unecessary stuff; such as the time I was in (due to traumatic injuries/fractures which ended up in a several week hospitalization at the time - healed up with no adverse sequelae fortunately). What disgusted me was being in excruciating pain, and watching a kid with conjunctivitis (pink eye). Hearing the kid do an eye test while I was laying there disgusted me. Some of the ridiculous reasons people go in are worse when your a patient with an actual legit problem.

Of note, the pink eye kid, roughly 8 years old or so, obviously stable and the paranoid parent could/SHOULD have taken him to the local 'doc-in-the-box'/after hours care place.

it sucks to have to wait. while i agree it is horrible to be made to wait when you are in pain, you cannot **** around where eyes are concerned. one fine summer day i started to feel irritation and redness in my left eye. i waited till the next day for an appt. with my pcp. by the next day, i could no longer see on the left side. i went to mass eye and ear ER, was seen and admitted. i was there for a week, in excruciating pain, with a pseudomonas corneal ulcer. it left me blind in one eye for 9 months and eventually required a corneal transplant d/t scar tissue. i can see now, but i will never forget the pain or the disfigurement during the blindness (yellow-ish cataract with a blue center, deviated to the outside). this is a rare case indeed, but is a cautionary tale. always take complaints involving eyes seriously!

The police had raided a crack house. In the refrigerator they found what they thought was a human fetus. They brought it to the ER. It was an oyster.

why would they bring it to the ER? wouldnt they have their own medical examiner look it over? i dunno... that just seems odd to me.

Are ya ready for this one?!

I had a MALE pt come into the ER with c/o a sinus infection. He stated he had green drainage from his nose and a headache. We gave him a script and sent him on his way.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO................a few days later, he returned to the ER wanting a new script, stating that the one we gave him wasn't working. We asked him if his symptoms are the same. He replied that yes the are the same, only the green drainage has spread. I asked "Spread"? Where?

.....................................................................................................................................................................the green drainage had spread to his member!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :uhoh21:

Another day in the life of an ER nurse!!!!!

HAD A PT AND HIS GIRLFRIEND COME IN AND WANTED TO BE CHECKED FOR A

STD.WHEN I ASKED WHY HE THOUGHT HE HAD A STD HE TOLD ME HIS PSYCHIC TOLD HIM. I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ANY DISCHARGE AND HE ASKED FROM WHERE.

DR SAW HIM AND TOLD HIM TO GO TO THE PSYCHIC FOR THE RESULTS LOL :rotfl: :rotfl:

A guy put gasoline through his infusaport,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I have so many, Just don't know where to begin

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