What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

And did you have to treat them?

I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement.

Thanks for sharing ?

Specializes in ER, ICU, L&D, OR.
:uhoh3: undefinedundefinedundefined elderly women comes in and has something wrapped in towel and says her son, he was about 36, has cut his member off and he needed to see doctor when one was available. nice wasn't she?

i seen several of those over the years, either they had some one do it to them or the do it themselves. even had one guy do it with very neat surgical incisions,cutting away one part the another, first his member then his scrotum bot separate procedures, he got caught and sent in before he cut his testicles off they were still there and dangling all by themsleves

I seen several of those over the years, either they had some one do it to them or the do it themselves. Even had one guy do it with very neat surgical incisions,cutting away one part the another, first his member then his scrotum bot separate procedures, he got caught and sent in before he cut his testicles off they were still there and dangling all by themsleves

Can I say ouch!

I'm female and I still want to cross my legs and say ouch!

Probably paraphimosis in an uncircumcised male (redundant, I know). Foreskin gets stuck behind the glans (not glands) of the member and if not treated can cause gangrene (aiee)

Exactly! Thanks!

"Do I have to wait here with all these sick people?"

Nurse: "If your not in pain and you dont have any symptoms, why are you here tonight?"

Patient:"I havent been seen by a medical professional in a while and I want to be seen tonight."

Nurse: " Well, I've seen you. You seem fine to me."

Patient (excited):" So I can go Now?"

Patient: " I was seen here 6 months ago and given a work note. My boss said he thought I quite and hired some one else. I need a new note."

Nurse: " How long were you given off?"

Patient: " Well, the PAPER said 2 days, but I know the doctor (whose name or any physical description eludes the patient) told me not to go back until I felt better. I still dont feel like going back to work, but I need a new note so I dont get fired."

Needless to say the patient did not get a new note.

A patient arrives to my triage stations to say that after having a BM he felt something 'still up there'. After digitally checking himself, he had his wife and grown daughter check him, visually and digitally. When these results were negative he stated that he went to his long time neighbor who also checked him in the same way. Negative again he asked his new neighbor who calld the police, who brought him to the ER. (He was seen and was still negative).

Specializes in Emergency.

at my first RN job in a small community ER, had a 50something male come in at 3am for hiccups. We used an NG tube to stimulate the vegas nerve.

few months ago, a 19 yo female ( college student at a big prestigious university) came in because she swallowed a bic pen.......... was walking upstairs with a pen in her mouth, tripped, and swallowed the entire thing. xray showed it was lodged in her stomach, she got scoped, and i don't know what else after that. ( she walked in, in no distress)

Responded to a call for a middle aged male who needs his staples removed. (and he needs an ambulance for this?)

You always know the best ones are when the dispatcher pages out "call by phone for more information" It is usually something they can't say outloud without laughing.

True story: Couple of yrs ago a female kept calling 911 for a toothache. We would transport her and never get paid. Medicaid was sending the checks to her and she was going around to nearby towns and cashing them for herself. Finally a bank teller caught on (she must have forgot that she already went to that bank) and called our director. Needless to say, the next Medicaid check came directly to us and the female doesn't call 911 anymore. Talk about abuse!

Another abuse of the system is when MDs have the nursing home call 911 to have pt seen in ER. When we arrive at the NH, the nurse tells us that the pt needs to go to the ER because the MD wants to see the pt and the MD is at the hopital right now. Is the MDs car broke? :angryfire Now a pt with no income has an ambulance, ER, and physician bill...........

"I'm not an ambulance driver."

-Steve Berry

Check out his books, very funny.

Specializes in ER!.

Not only did I have a young lady present to the ER with a pimple on her nasal septum, I later retrieved the chart from the "Orders" rack and had to read it twice to believe this doc actually ordered IV Levaquin. (Since WHEN...?)

Discharge dx was cellulitis. Now, I did not attend medical school, but I was present for puberty, that sure as he** looked like a plain ol' garden variety pimple on the nose to me.

man came in wearing boots and a paint can stuck on one of them. Physician in E.R. that day asked him ifhe sh** canned that job?..lol

Specializes in ER.
at my first rn job in a small community er, had a 50something male come in at 3am for hiccups. we used an ng tube to stimulate the vegas nerve.

i have a great aunt that will be thrilled to hear that hiccups can be cured with gambling!

Not only did I have a young lady present to the ER with a pimple on her nasal septum, I later retrieved the chart from the "Orders" rack and had to read it twice to believe this doc actually ordered IV Levaquin. (Since WHEN...?)

Discharge dx was cellulitis. Now, I did not attend medical school, but I was present for puberty, that sure as he** looked like a plain ol' garden variety pimple on the nose to me.

Did you look inside the nasal cavity? If it loooked infected, that (Levaquin)doesn't sound unreasonable, although I probably would have used po instead (unless she was febrile). I've prescribed abx quite a bit for cellulitis and I always tend to be a bit more aggressive when it comes to facial cellulitis because it can easily lead to BAD complications. :)

Last night in the wee am hours.....I inhaled my crack pipe!!!!:chuckle

Also last night. pt. brought by EMS passed out, officer escort, the problem...pt. too drunk to go to jail!!!:rotfl: SO THATS HOW YOU GET OUT OF IT!!

"Do I have to wait here with all these sick people?"

Nurse: "If your not in pain and you dont have any symptoms, why are you here tonight?"

Patient:"I havent been seen by a medical professional in a while and I want to be seen tonight."

Nurse: " Well, I've seen you. You seem fine to me."

Patient (excited):" So I can go Now?"

Patient: " I was seen here 6 months ago and given a work note. My boss said he thought I quite and hired some one else. I need a new note."

Nurse: " How long were you given off?"

Patient: " Well, the PAPER said 2 days, but I know the doctor (whose name or any physical description eludes the patient) told me not to go back until I felt better. I still dont feel like going back to work, but I need a new note so I dont get fired."

Needless to say the patient did not get a new note.

A patient arrives to my triage stations to say that after having a BM he felt something 'still up there'. After digitally checking himself, he had his wife and grown daughter check him, visually and digitally. When these results were negative he stated that he went to his long time neighbor who also checked him in the same way. Negative again he asked his new neighbor who calld the police, who brought him to the ER. (He was seen and was still negative).

I think this guy must have been getting his "kicks" in a strange new way.

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