What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

And did you have to treat them?

I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement.

Thanks for sharing ?

what is a DH?

Specializes in LDRP.
what is a DH?

often used internet abbreviation for "dear (or damn) husband". i see it quite frequently, as its easier then typing out "my husband", etc. DD is used for dear/damn daughter, DS for son.

um, had he really cut off his member or was she just a little kooky?

OH YES, HE HAD. HE WAS THE ONE "KOOKY". HE THOUGHT IT (member) WAS TRYING TO ATTACK HIM. :imbar

:rolleyes: Mom brings in child with a rash, child carrying a cage. I ask whats in the cage, SNAKES!! Yep thats right, SNAKES! I flip out but manage to ask why they brought snakes. Mom says child has been playing with the baby snakes and now has a rash. OK then, whats does she want me to do, run allergy tests on the snakes!

True story, I saw the Xray.

Man presented to ER hunched over and in great pain. Asked for a male nurse(my friend got him that night, I was up in NICU) Man had lodged a 12inch pleasuring device in his colon. The pleasuring device was complete with a fake scrotum. Apparently, the man frequently put the device into his colon but normally was able to expel it after his "session" was finished. This time it got lodged. In fact, it was lodged so tightly that he ended up in surgery to have it removed abdominally and needed a colostomy. The resident showed me the xray. The device was all the way up to his thoracic spine! It must have been hitting the transverse colon. Funniest part of the story is that the when the resident checked in on the surgery, he saw the prissy female resident surgeon pulling this giant black device out of this mans belly. He said it was quite a sight!

Specializes in Emergency Nursing Advanced Practice.
I work at pediatric ed and we have teenagers that come in for pregnancy tests all the time!! So frustrating!!!

And you are under no obligation to do them, unless of course their chief complaint is abdominal pain, then you have to r/o an ectopic. EMTALA only requires a screening exam. If a teeny bopper comes in and says they want a preg test, have the doc screen them and give them directions to nearest drug store for an over the counter test.

Specializes in Emergency Nursing Advanced Practice.
Yes, but there is a serious condition which causes swelling in young boy's memberes that can cause permanent damage...I've treated a case or two in very young infants (

Probably paraphimosis in an uncircumcised male (redundant, I know). Foreskin gets stuck behind the glans (not glands) of the member and if not treated can cause gangrene (aiee)

Specializes in Emergency Nursing Advanced Practice.
Young man- broken nose- hysterical wife- "I told you that you were going to kill yourself with those Num Chuks" (Had to be air-lifted to nearest trauma unit)

We first thought the wife was hysterical... she was just laughing so hard she was crying.

She stopped crying/laughing when the helicopter took off.

He kept yelling at her: "thnut up, thnitch"

QUOTE]

There must be more to his injuries. Please tell me you did not fly him to a trauma center for a broken nose????? And if they are awake and talking why not ground transport. Sounds like (from what we know so far) like a HUGE waste of resources!!!!

Specializes in Emergency Nursing Advanced Practice.

We have a local "Immediate Care Center" that when it opened had a big gala grand opening and touted that they "could take care of anything except major trauma". Well guess what, we get so many things from them that they cannot do. Some are basic suturing cases.

To their credit, they do call 911 when a chest pain comes in. But they have problems with basic math. Twice this one "doctor" told the medics "we gave 8 baby aspirin, 325mg". The last time the medic scribbled on a paper "8 x 81 = 648mg" and handed it to the doc. Looked at it and walked away.

Dummies!!!!!

Half the world's population has a below average IQ!
:chuckle

And half of the world's doctors graduated in the bottom half of their class!!!

LOL

ok, I'll tell on myself but.... at least I did have the excuse of being extremely young and naive. I had my son very young and was a single mom. When he was about 4 yrs. old (he's 28 now), he came to me saying "mama, somethings wrong with my weewee. It's too big." Well, I look and his poor "weewee" was swollen horribly, it looked like his fist instead of a member!

Had a similar experience in my house when one of my boys was 13. He had suffered for a whole day before having the guts to tell me about this...

he had peed in the woods and apparently had poison ivy on his hands...he is VERY sensitive to poison ivy. His member looked like one of those plastic toys that slip out of your hand when you try to hold them....do you know what I mean? They have fluid inside and a dimple on each end? Anyway, we went to the ER (weekend of course) for a shot of cortisone. Poor kid, he was so embarrassed to have to show his mother that and I had to struggle not to shriek when I saw it!!

Specializes in Emergency Nursing Advanced Practice.
Had a similar experience in my house when one of my boys was 13. He had suffered for a whole day before having the guts to tell me about this...

he had peed in the woods and apparently had poison ivy on his hands...he is VERY sensitive to poison ivy. His member looked like one of those plastic toys that slip out of your hand when you try to hold them....do you know what I mean? They have fluid inside and a dimple on each end? Anyway, we went to the ER (weekend of course) for a shot of cortisone. Poor kid, he was so embarrassed to have to show his mother that and I had to struggle not to shriek when I saw it!!

There is also a recognized condition called "Summer Penile Syndrome" which is caused by "chigger" bites to the member and perineal area and causes sometimes dramatic swelling. Read about it in "Pediatric Emergency Care" a few years back. Treat with antihistamines and steroids.

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