What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

And did you have to treat them?

I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement.

Thanks for sharing ?

[rt_to_nurse]

I work night shift in the ED. At about 1AM woman and her husband came in to walk in triage with the wife complaining of urinary retention. Our usual procedure with ambulatory patients is to give them a gown and specimen cup and ask them to change into a gown and provide a urine sample. When I reached my patient, she was sitting in bed in her gown and she handed me a specimen cup with about 45 ml of clear yellow urine in it. When asked what she was here for she repeated "urinary retention." I asked if the urine in the cup she just handed me was hers. She assured me that it was. I then asked when she had last been able to urinate. She said, "8PM."

Now, I'm not sure about you, but I've gone much, much longer than 5 hours without peeing. Also, I'm pretty sure that the urine specimen she handed me proved she was not actually suffering from urinary retention. To be thorough, I continued interviewing and assessing the patient who gave details consistent with a possible UTI (feeling of having to urinate with not much urine actually being produced, some mild lower abdominal pressure / pain, and burning with urination). I explained that she may possibly have a UTI and sent her urine to the lab. The husband proceeded to tell me that he was pretty sure she as having urinary retention and that he wanted me to "insert a tube to drain it out." I explained that 1). I didn't think a foley was indicated as she is obviously able to produce urine as evidenced by the urine sample she handed me and 2). I can't insert a foley without a doctor's order anyway.

So... they eloped before seeing a doctor.

[JWaldron]

had a lady come in thru triage complaining of a pimple !!! :)

what did she want me to do, pop it?

Oh-Oh! That's dangerous. You should have done something! Many years ago when I still worked in the ED, we had a young guy come into the dept. several days running, w/ that complaint. The doc told him each time that we weren't there to treat his pimples, and sent him on his way. On about the 5th day, he went into a local store, took a hostage, walked the guy down the street to the local church, held him there for a couple of hours, then shot him in the face, and then killed himself in front of the alter. We really should have squeezed his pimple.

(The guy he shot had a through and through GSW of the maxillary sinuses, eventually recovered, and did very well, though it took a long while.)

Savvy

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

i am offended.

you clearly have no idea what it is like to be poor. have you ever had to ration food so your children would be able to eat? i doubt it.

i grew up poor -- no plumbing, no electricity and we didn't eat anything we couldn't grow. i'm not offended. lighten up, lady!

[smarti15]

I have only done clinicals in the ER and that was enough for a laugh or two:

rectal pain: patient states I had sex "back there"

Abdominal pain: patient states that if we can't get through the scar tissue in his veins to start his IV, he can...and btw when can I get a breakfast tray?

Some people.....

[snyderrobyn]

I love those who say, "I called ahead" thinking that it then means they'll get in right away with the sniffles........hahahaha

[snyderrobyn]

I had one diagnosed with "razor burn". Awesome

[snyderrobyn]

We once had two patients start swapping drug overdose induced code stories. One was mad her clothes were cut off by paramedics and thought the hospital should replace them. The other kept fueling her saying "they didn't cut off MY clothes when I came in..." ***! Next time don't call the ambulance after taking all your happy pills, we'll leave your clothes on.

[Fribblet]

I love those who say, "I called ahead" thinking that it then means they'll get in right away with the sniffles........hahahaha

Those are always fun. I also love when someone comes in by EMS for some minor complaint and we send them right out to triage and make them wait like everyone else who walked in.

I love explaining to them when they come up and say "Uh, I came by ambulance! Why do I have to wait?"

"Well, sir, the way it works is that the sickest patients are seen first. It makes no difference to us how you decided to get here today."

We'll often send EMS patients out to be triaged from the waiting room even if we have rooms open. We only do this for complaints that really don't warrant an ambulance visit, such as a "toofache" or a stubbed toe. No sense in rewarding bad behavior.

[snyderrobyn]

Actually, the worst off patients usually show up by private car, but they haven't figured that out yet :doh:

[gardengal1, ASN, RN]

I had one yesterday come to the ER by ambulance from local nursing home with swollen bridge of nose. Someone had put the C-PAP on too tightly the night before. And, they had to go back by ambulance because the NH has no mode of transportation for their clients. What a waste of health care dollars!

[Fribblet]

I had one yesterday come to the ER by ambulance from local nursing home with swollen bridge of nose. Someone had put the C-PAP on too tightly the night before. And, they had to go back by ambulance because the NH has no mode of transportation for their clients. What a waste of health care dollars!

Oh man! Sometimes the NHs really **** me off. I try to ignore it since I've never worked in one and really have no idea of what they are or are not capable of handling and the liabilities etc.

But I did have a patient once who was sent over (on the night shift) because in the morning he apparently stated "I don't feel good." Eight hours later he arrives at our doors asking "Why am I here? There's nothing wrong with me." We promptly sent him back since there really was nothing wrong with him.

Wasteful.

[Fribblet]

Actually, the worst off patients usually show up by private car, but they haven't figured that out yet :doh:

This is very true.

I'm trying to remember where I read this (I'll have to do some digging), but I read somewhere that GSW/stab wound patients usually have better outcomes when they arrive by car, rather than by EMS.

Something about chemo and barroreceptors and fluid resuscitation etc.

Another topic for another time...