What makes you drag?

nurseunderwater · Jun 19, 2004

I know what you mean....

Truely though, I don't have the time of day for people w/ such attitudes. I mean, if they are so "self-absorbed" and coming from such an egotistical place...they have a problem not me. There have been so many discussions on this board about the people of which you speak. I think part of it is getting a thicker skin..feeling good about the work you do and gravitating toward people who have their emotional/psychological act together. Don't let them get you down...chin up and all that :)

xxoo

Kate

chris_at_lucas_RN, RN · Jun 19, 2004

I agree with you both. The only times I've been unhappy on the job (I'm a fairly happy, perkily annoying individual :) ) I've had critical people who could not be warm if their lives depended on it, except among their own little clique.

Come to think of it, that sounds a lot like high school, doesn't it?

I try to make my own happiness, and usually it also rubs off on others. When it doesn't, I try to hang onto my own level of joy.

Good thread.

AcosmicRN · Jun 19, 2004

I know what you mean....
Truely though, I don't have the time of day for people w/ such attitudes. I mean, if they are so "self-absorbed" and coming from such an egotistical place...they have a problem not me. There have been so many discussions on this board about the people of which you speak. I think part of it is getting a thicker skin..feeling good about the work you do and gravitating toward people who have their emotional/psychological act together. Don't let them get you down...chin up and all that :)
xxoo
Kate

Yes. I think your advice is exact, and it is all that can be done. I think one thing I need to wake up to is that the more positive I become, the less un-positive people are going to like me and the more negative they will seem to me. But if I'm any good at all at laying bricks for the kingdom of God, I need to find a way to embrace them as well. I mean, it's like you say, they really do have a problem. If that's the case, then I should regard them and treat them as I would a mentally ill patient. I have compassion for mentally ill patients, so why not mentally ill coworkers? I must find a way.

Thanks for the advice.

Acosmic

bklynborn · Jun 19, 2004

Whee do you work??? I love going to work!!!! Granted there are a few (mostly day shift) who believe that patients actually sleep at night.

I am fortunate to have a great manager who is pro team building. Our goal is to strive to be the best unit in our hospital. The ones where the Floats "like to go."

Instead of looking at "the other guy" and taking offense, ask yourself if you are being overly sensitive, is there anything you can do to change your perception of what is going on? No one goes to work with the attitude of "let me see who I can piss off today." Always assume good intent. We all work very hard and want to provide the best care possible. Don't dwell on the negative.

I hope things get better for you and I really would like to know where it is you are working. :)

Have a better day.

AcosmicRN · Jun 19, 2004

I agree with you both. The only times I've been unhappy on the job (I'm a fairly happy, perkily annoying individual :) ) I've had critical people who could not be warm if their lives depended on it, except among their own little clique.
Come to think of it, that sounds a lot like high school, doesn't it?
I try to make my own happiness, and usually it also rubs off on others. When it doesn't, I try to hang onto my own level of joy.
Good thread.

Indeed. They are very cliquish. They all seem to hang out together and eat lunch together. On the rare ocassion I have sat with them (if they're in the cafeteria, and no one else from work is there, I have to sit with them--it's kind of a hospital-cultural thing), I notice that they are always talking bad about somone or some patient. Even though they seem happy together--like highschool--they are engaging in conversation that can only elicit bad feelings. They are literally recharging their negativity.

And I'm glad you're one of those irritatingly perky people. I'll bet you don't realize (because people don't generally tell people this) that you make the day for many of your coworkers. When I come on the floor, the first thing I look at is who's there with me, and I say to myself, "Oh, she's cool; He's friendly; She was nice to me last time; I can probably ask him for help if I need it," etc. I thank God for irritatingly perky people--so carry on our wayard son!

Acosmic

chris_at_lucas_RN, RN · Jun 19, 2004

I thank God for irritatingly perky people--so carry on our wayard son!

Thanks for the huge compliment... but I'm a girl!! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: I just had an enjoyable go-round with Spazzy, who I've thought was a guy from day one, until I read one of her posts mentioning a husband!!! LOLOLOL

About those negative people, somebody higher up on the thread mentioned laying bricks for the kingdom of God. One of the things that helps me tolerate (and even eventually enjoy) the trolls is from Matthew, the business about the sheep and the goats. When I stop and think how I would behave toward them if they were JC, then it's a little easier to stay on the pleasant side. Consequently, I don't get tooo dragged down (but it happens).

My other little technique when dealing with people I don't like is to pray for them. Sometimes I have to grit my teeth, and I don't always believe what I am praying, but it doesn't seem to matter. I feel less annoyed about them.

Frankly, I'd eat by myself before I'd sit in the middle of a HIPPA-violating group like that (you did say they talk about patients too....)

Still a great thread..... (I'm gonna put "I'm a girl" or something like that on my info... still chuckling....)

AcosmicRN · Jun 19, 2004

Whee do you work??? I love going to work!!!! Granted there are a few (mostly day shift) who believe that patients actually sleep at night.
I am fortunate to have a great manager who is pro team building. Our goal is to strive to be the best unit in our hospital. The ones where the Floats "like to go."
Instead of looking at "the other guy" and taking offense, ask yourself if you are being overly sensitive, is there anything you can do to change your perception of what is going on? No one goes to work with the attitude of "let me see who I can piss off today." Always assume good intent. We all work very hard and want to provide the best care possible. Don't dwell on the negative.
I hope things get better for you and I really would like to know where it is you are working. :)
Have a better day.

Thank you for your reply, because this is exactly what I am talking about. I have a problem. I feel a certain way, and you blame me for it. You put me down for it. You make me responsible for it and ignore the fact that I was talking about arrogant, negative people, which I think most people would agree do exist and are irritating to be around. When I read "Pro-team building," and "We strive to have the best unit in the hospital." I immediately got cold chills, because while I strive to be the best nurse I can be, I really don't want to be "on top" of anyone. Competition is kind of against my religion--whacked out as it is.

You know, even the negative people on my floor smile--they have to or they get bad evaluations. But when they smile and greet you, you feel like you just got greeted by a car salesman on the lot. It's not a real greeting; it's not a real smile. They don't really like you.

But you are right: I do have a problem. When I encounter a negative person or people, I can do one of three things: I can fight back, I can avoid, or I can embrace them as I would any other person with an illness. I'm not at the place where I can embrace them, but I know I need to get there.

Acosmic

bklynborn · Jun 19, 2004

There is also a quote from the bible that goes when you are kind to your enemies it is like placing burning embers on their heads (not exact, but close?) Being nice to mean people is sometimes the thing they need most.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jun 19, 2004

All I know is that after my 15 hour shift that was supposed to be 12.5 hours, I'm dragging right now. :)

nursemike, ASN, RN · Jun 19, 2004

Maybe I'm a little too ready for Psych clinicals, next week, but I find it interesting that you mention arrogance and negativity in the same post. I know, you said arrogance makes you feel negative, but in my experience, a lot of the most arrogant people are also the most negative. They seem to think putting others down builds them up. And you're right, it is contagious--too much time around those types can get anyone down. Others are right that it pays to have a thick skin, but even elephants have feelings.

I think it pays to associate as much as possible with people who are usually positive. I think it pays to try to overlook slights--especially the ones that might not be intentional. I think it pays to be friendly and polite even to those who despise you, and I think it pays to fight back--in a civil way--when it's appropriate. If I knew how to do those things--consistently--I might call myself wise. Of course, if I were really wise, I'd realize that what wisdom I might have originated in foolishness and that anything worth knowing, I learned the hard way.

Meanwhile, I sometimes find it helpful to point out to people that whenever you hear about someone going berserk and shooting up their workplace, everyone always says, "He was always so quiet--the last person you would expect to do that."

wonderbee, BSN, RN · Jun 19, 2004

The unpredictability is what gets to me. Time management doesn't factor in the crashing patient at change of shift or taking care of the new admission while I'm in the middle of drawing labs for the morning. Between 3:30 and 7a, there are many tasks to accomplish and it doesn't take much to derail the train. I start getting anxious about it hours before I get there.

When I go home, albeit in pain feeling like a bent paper clip, there is often a sense of satisfaction mixed in there too. I think that's what keeps me coming back.