Ahhhhh this week. Kids in school, a nice run of chill nights, and here I am, wiiiiiiide awake knowing my body needs to flip back to awake in the day (for only two flippin' days) this weekend until I have two more nights this coming week. *sigh* I need more summer. Fall means back to mom taxi and learning 3rd grade math. Ugh! No thank you!
Alas, this week I have learned.....
There is a man with a 19 inch member. The head of it is 10 inches in diameter.
Xarelto is a hell of a drug.
Being an assertive person by nature, and after receiving guidance through nursing school and as I've been a nurse on concise and direct communication (how to deliver and receive it), I was reminded this week that not everyone effectively communicates, and it can be upsetting to them to be asked to.
In addition, the very nature of nursing education through school and orientation teaches us how to be able to initially be subordinate, in a way, to those who mentor us, but seamlessly transition to being peers after. This feels like an endemic part of nursing because we all do it, and a good preceptor takes his/her role seriously to ensure safety and adequate care is delivered. That ease of transition doesn't apparently exist in all levels of patient care, though. I'm not sure why it didn't occur to me, but it was placed directly in my face when I was informed that a preceptor tech should not be responsible for correction of an orienting tech, because the orienting tech is a peer to the preceptor. (Huge needs for education, there - I am not the (disciplinary) supervisor of the aids, even as the nurse, and a preceptor is responsible for the learning process of the one orienting - they need to learn how to communicate errors in practice without worrying about the consequence to the peer relationship later.)
I've decided my melanin is useless.
On a related note, I would rather go without a shower than shower with sunburn.
#JunkOff is trending right now. And in the name of science, there is this - The Icelandic Phallological Museum
I want a high and mighty horse to ride in on.
And speaking of horses, never look a gift horse in the mouth. If the whole floor has wild and crashing patient assignments, check in and offer help often, but keep it to yourself that your group was/is easy.
When you read a patient's chart notes and see they couldn't be stopped from punching and spitting on staff with 25 mg haldol and 10 mg Ativan, you might actually think to yourself, "thank god he's only felt me up this shift".
I've decided I'm going to write a book called "You Can't Make This **** Up".
Agony, sweet, sweet little old man reaffirmed for me that we have a desperate need in this country for social services. A person shouldn't decide to attempt suicide because lack of access to adequate care has ultimately (decades later) led to homelessness.
I very much love and miss NOC. It felt so good to do a week of nights!
I've learned how very close to death a person can get during ETOH detox. It doesn't help that the person is 4 months older than my mom, who is 15 years sober right now. Counter transference is a hell of a drug. 
Lots of psychosocial stuff this week. Very heartbreaking.
I've learned that simply being in a sinus arrest rhythm while already having a HR in the 30s is not a qualifyer for a pacemaker. (Apparently?)
I've learned that the cutoff for a pause to ring asystole on our tele monitors is somewhere between 4.8 and 5.6 seconds.
I've learned our hospitalists have this magical locked room filled with iced cream. And if you're really nice (and they're tired-giddy at the end of their 7-day NOC stretch), they'll tube some up to you.
Adding with compatible numbers makes no freaking sense to me whatsoever. I am a math smart person with a rather high IQ (logic and I are BFFs) and yet, compatible numbers? Seriously, why?! I should be able to tutor my 8-year old in math without having to learn what it is first, right???
Have you learned anything worth sharing this week?
