What a blow to my ego

[letitbe_lindsay]

I am currently doing my clinical practicum on a very busy ICU unit. I feel like I'm doing very well given that there is SO MUCH to know and SO LITTLE room for error. My preceptor has given me lots of positive feedback about things I do well and I ask every what I need to improve on (as well as working with other nurses), and I find that this has helped me learn a great deal.

HOWEVER.

Every night I give report to the oncoming nurse. My preceptor has named my report-giving skills and communication with the team as one of my strengths. However, this one particular nurse is just plain ******* to me when I'm trying to give her information. She walks up to me and says "I hate getting report from student nurses," then proceeds to interrupt me and correct me in a very rude fashion the whole time I'm giving report. Obviously, being ridiculed like this makes me flustered and less articulate, which probably confirms her beliefs that I am an idiot.

I have given report to this woman numerous times. Last time, I asked her if I needed to organize my report differently to suit her system (as she would now be taking the patient for 12 hours). She looked at me from like I was from outer space, sighed heavily, and told me "just ******* get on with it."

I don't know what to do. As a student, I don't feel like I have the weight to throw around to ask her to stop treating me so poorly. At the same time, my preceptor, who does have the weight, won't intervene and tells me "that's just how she is."

How do you deal with this sort of TERRIBLE workplace behavior?

[DolceVita, ADN, BSN, RN]

Do you think any of this woman's remarks are valid? If so, thank her for her input. Say you will take it onboard and ask that in future could she deliver it a less hostile manner because it make it hard to hear the message.

But I am a direct kinda person.

[muffin741]

Dear Lindsay.

I LOVE students (and I know there are plenty more like me), and I'm so sorry about the rude nurse. I would stop every time she interrupts, wait until she stops talking, stay silent until she indicates you continue. If you stop every time and not speak, until she comments that you should start talking again, (and then smile when she gives you the go ahead) it will extinguish her behavior very quickly like she is a bad dog. I will tell you from experience she has terrible self esteem, does not like herself and is probably quite miserable. As bad as she treats you she treat her husband and her children worse. Someone has reinforced this behavior in her in some way. Do not do anything to make it worthwhile to her to continue doing it to others. Others have said, she is a bullly and in soem way this behavior has paid off for her.

There was a a barista at the coffee shop in my town. She made a latte for the woman standing in front of me in line. The woman lashed out at her with excoriating contempt, and told her she had made the wrong drink. The young woman offered to fix it, offered to make a free latte, etc. The woman was so mean; she walked out muttering about the incompetent service. I came up in line to the young woman. She was in tears. I leaned over the counter and said "You are very lucky." And she looked at me like was was the village idiot. "WHY?" I leaned over the counter, and said "You are not her, and you will never be." She smiled through her tears and said thank you. Remember why you went into nursing. You will be a great nurse and a great preceptor, and maybe someday, a great mom, and what you learned from your encounters with this woman, will help you in all of those.

There are so many of us sending you hugs and support. Hang in there and let us know how it goes.

[johnnybravo8802]

Oh yea, been there and done that many times and it still continues after 18 yrs in the field. As a new nurse, your too afraid to say anything but with time, you stop putting up with that sh@! I actually walked out on a nurse one day pulling that crap on me. I told her that when she was ready to take report w/o being an ass, let me know. You have to remember, you have the info. they need and w/o it, they can't take care of the pt. properly. If I have a nurse with a million questions and just drilling me about every detail, I tell them to "read the chart"...that's what it's for. Hope that helps!!!!

[RNCCMMS, RN]

There is a problem here, as I perceive it; you are a student, you must have an instructor. I would ask the instructor if she can please sit in/stand in unobtrusivley while you give report to observe this complete lack of professionalism. Your preceptor should not be allowing this behavior to continue. You are entitled to respect period! I would encourage you to stand up/sit up tall, smile and in a calm voice advise her that you don't use foul language when addressing her and you expect the same courtesy and continue to give report. You can stand up for yourself without confrontational methods.

Don't let this obnoxious individual steer you away from your chosen path. Best of luck!

[kenni]

I totally feel for you! there are a few nurses at my facility that like to eat new nurses. I thought it was just me until I talked to other nurses about it. I guess it made them feel smart that their 20 yrs of experience knew more than someone with none!

[letitbe_lindsay]

Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions.

Basically how it went down was like this:

My preceptor was with me everytime I gave report, sort of as a standby in case I missed anything, but I was running the show. I was always surprised that she never stepped in, but chalked it up to one of those "learning experience" things and went on my way.

Yesterday was my last day of my clinical practicum. My preceptor asked me, "Did that nurse intimidate you?" And I answered honestly, "Yes, she did."

I was expecting to get another, "You'll have to grow thicker skin" lecture, but what my preceptor said caught me by surprise. She said she admired me for the way I dealt with the situation professionally, and that if it were her, she would have said something rude back and it would have been a mess. And that is why she didn't step in. Because I was handling the situation exactly how I should handle it, without being nasty right back.

Anyway, that gave me the warm fuzzies.

[muffin741]

Congratulations! You are so courageous! It will serve you well.

[CNA1208]

She sounds very unprofessional! If I were you, I would not put up with it! When she starts interrupting you and being rude, I would say "I realize you don't like getting report from me, but I do not have to put up with your rude behavior. I may be new at this, but I do not deserve to be treated like this. Here are the new rules, I will give you a report for each pt and when I'm finished, if you have any questions I will be happy to answer them. If you interrupt me or speak rudely to me, I will walk away and you can figure out the report on your own." Of course I would have a well written, detailed report ready to hand her when I walked away. I would also let your supervisor in on your plan.

I am usually a peacemaker type person, but I will not allow people to treat me poorly. It is like dealing with a bully. When you stand up to a bully, most likely they will back down and respect you. Keep your dignity! You have worked hard to get where you are and you do not have to put up with people who do not enjoy where they are.......she needs to move on to another job.....she is not doing anyone any good....especially not the pts! Good Luck and don't let her ruin one day of your new adventures! You are going to be a fantastic nurse!

[Echo_of_Faith]

I have been in this situation myself a couple of times in just regular group clincals. I won't go into the details because that's not what this is about. As students we are told or understand that we are at clinicals to work & the nurses we work with have being doing this a long time, that all will not like students or help us out, so most of us just keep our mouths shut and bear the burden of what is or has happened on our own & possibly ***** about it later; however, you are still a human being who is like every other human being on this earth in that we ALL have emotions & part of nursing is a therapeutic attitude toward what we do and who we interact with. I will tell you this, even if she didn't intend to come off as she did (I tend to give people more benefit of the doubt than they probably deserve) she affected you in a way that, to some degree, caused undo stress. You have a few options: explain to you preceptor if comfortable exactly how you feel, she/he has probably worked with this nurse few awhile & may know how you should approach the situation. (2) say nothing & bear if you think you can handle it untell your preceptorship is over (if you're going to work there after school, probably NOT the best plan) (3) ask what you could do to make it more convenient for her (which you have already done, so (4) Confront her. Tactfully. There is NOTHING wrong with you standing up for yourself & your well-being. Explain that you understand if she feels frustrated by "taking report from a student" but that you are there to learn & her reaction to you is not beneficial to you or her; you still have to report off to her, acting in your preceptor's position & if she is the nurse taking over that Pt's care all "I" can do is try to make the process better to "your" liking. Explain how her reaction has affected you and maybe cite that she was a student at one time. Last, please don't think you are an idiot. I am guessing if you're in preceptorship you're almost done. Way to make it through, you're almost there; I know it blows the ego & challenges the self-esteem, but you have gone through all the mess of studying, testing, labs, clinicals & this one lady just sounds like she doesn't (or has lost) have the therapeutic touch, at least not with students. At least you can remember this event & hopefully will not treat students the same. I'm getting ready for my preceptor & all I can think about is how fast I can get through it so I can take the NCLEX. I hope some of this helps you - GOOD LUCK & GOD BLESS!!!!

[siyarose]

its hard to work with those kind of people...but u know u can express ur feelings..( in nice way....)doesn't matter u r a student or rn..as long as u r not wrong......one more thing,if u do that atleast couple of times next time she willbe ok...just try and see....

[merrywhiterose]

I had a clinical instructor that treated me like that in front of everyone! It shows how low of a person she is.

[Hithere]

This shouldn't be a blow to your ego as this has nothing to do with you. Don't take her behavior personally--it sounds as though she is very unhappy and crabby in general and it overflows onto her work life. If anything have some compassion for her as that must be a terrible way to live. You aren't going to change her and it sounds as though she isn't willing or able to change. ...Focus on those who are helpful and don't let her steal your happiness or rattle your cage. :)