Weekly Support Group Meetings

catsmeow1972, BSN, RN · Oct 19, 2017

Mine is actually kind of interesting in that it is a Skype type affair. Small, actually mental health focused and admittedly not bad. Doesn't totally suck and I can wear my pajamas.

SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN · Oct 19, 2017

That is COOL!!!! I gotta go to mine

Lisacar130 · Oct 20, 2017

Our meetings are similar to yours but I don't understand what the problem is. If someone is mad at their husband, that relates 100% to recovery. That is a stressful problem someone is having and could be a trigger for relapse. It could have been what drove them into addiction in the first place. Same with boyfriend issues and not getting along with other nurses at work. The other stuff, like what their kid is wearing or cake recipes might not directly relate to recovery but that kind of stuff doesn't bother me. It's kind of just social talk and maybe that person doesn't get out of the house much and needs that. I know I can't be 100% talking about recovery only all the time with the same few people week after week. At some point other topics of conversation are going to naturally flow in. These nurse meetings are not as formal as say AA or NA meetings but that's kind of the point, to socialize with other nurses in recovery. Do you go to AA or NA meetings too? What do you think of them? Do you have a sponsor? If so, do you only talk about recovery related topics or do you have other conversations sometimes?

SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN · Oct 20, 2017

We never bring this mundane chatter around to how it impacts any level of recovery. I suppose in a room of diagnosed alcoholics and addicts anything could lead to a relapse but honestly to me its an hour and a half of mindless stories about stuff I could care less about. It does kind of seem like social hour for people who need to get out more now that you mention it but the idea that I have to pay for that is a little galling. I have to go to three meetings a week in AA. The nurse support meeting counts as one so I attend two more but honestly I only go to comply with my contract. I have a sponsor but have little interest in AA and I rarely speak to him. I like the meetings more because at some point the chair will reel this seemingly unrelated chatter in and refocus the discussion to recovery. Plus the meetings are free, shorter and usually involve snacks & always coffee. Anyway, at some point fairly soon my frequency of mandatory support group meetings will lessen and then go away. I suppose this is just another mandatory part of the program to get through & I will. It's way better then inpatient or IOP. I was just hoping that it could be made less dreary and more interesting.

Recovering_RN · Oct 20, 2017

Funny but my nurse support mtgs were exactly like that and I liked them! I had to quit going because I got a new job with a schedule that interfered with the time of the mtgs, but I actually liked the chatter! There were always people who took up WAY MORE time than anyone else, and our group leader tried to control that as best he could. But yeah, it was a whole 2 hours of talking about what's going on in each person's life, not any specific recovery topic, no mention of the big book or the 12 steps or whatever. What I esp liked, though, was that they could all relate to my restrictions, disc about TPAPN, worry about having to test on a day where I had something special going on etc. Not recovery exactly, but discussion about the details of how to manage our lives with TPAPN (or some were board ordered) and how to deal with our case managers, interviewing for new jobs etc. There were times when the discussion was about nothing related to TPAPN or job searches etc at all, and that was sort of boring, but for me, almost every meeting had some discussion related to working and living while in a monitoring program, and I liked that they could all relate.

I think a lot of those people can't talk about this stuff with their friends. I never told anyone except my husband I'd been fired and was in TPAPN, so I had no other nurses to talk to about it. I totally dropped out of the social scene with friends from work, and my other non work friends never knew, they just knew I'd changed jobs. For me, nobody except this group of nurses would understand my concern about looking for a new job. How awful it is to have to bring up the monitoring in an interview. The fear that even after I'm out, someone will call my old employer and find out I'm not eligible for rehire. All my friends and family assume that it's easy to get a job anywhere as a nurse, they don't know anything about the drug testing or my fear of hand sanitizer. So this group of nurses can relate to all that.

Of course my nurse support meetings were free. That would've changed my opinion, I'm sure, if I did have had to pay for them.

Persephone Paige, ADN · Mar 30, 2018

I just zone out if it's boring. Sometimes someone will have a problem and discuss, but no one I know borrows trouble just so we can have an exciting meeting. If it's interesting, I'm engaged. If the group motor mouth won't shut up, I just detach. At a moments notice I'm on a beach in the Caribbean, or imaging how good that cigarette will taste, or drinking my favorite coffee. I just take leave. That's a gift I've had since childhood ( only child ), which I will not share with anyone. I'd probably get a mental illness contract and not just a substance abuse one.

SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN · Mar 30, 2018

I used to play on my phone like at the AA meetings but they made me quit

Eris Discordia BSN, RN · Mar 31, 2018

There's a guy at one of my AA meetings who is on his phone the whole meeting, every meeting. He doesn't talk. But something about how he carries himself makes me wonder if he's on the spectrum...because he was there before I joined, he still shows up all the time, and no one ever calls him on it. He stands in the closing circle and recites, but he won't hold hands. He has unique mannerisms. I think he has a deeper story than I'm privy to, because I'm sure they wouldn't quietly tolerate it for this long...I've been in that meeting over a year now. He talks to people individually, just not in groups.

I'm an addict, so I do try to get something out of the meetings. Some meetings that's easy, some meetings the only good I can find is that it made me leave my house.

catsmeow1972, BSN, RN · Mar 31, 2018

With the meetings which I still can't figure out why I'm forced to go to (not going there) I have to admit I read or browse on my iPad or phone and then beat it outta there before there's any hand holding or anything. I restrict myself to large, crowded ones so I can do that as unobtrusively as possible. Never mind the fact that I've never been a drinker and don't really think too much of the 12 step stuff as the end all be all fix that these programs seem to think it is, I don't like holding hands or god forbid being hugged (ugh!) by complete strangers.

So far as the NSG goes, for me it's an exercise in restraint. I have to work at keeping my trap shut lest I get in hot water for saying what I really think.

So I drudge through those meetings and keep counting the days and when they are done you can bet your sweet bippy that I will never darken the door of any whatever-anonymous meeting ever again...

SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN · Mar 31, 2018

There's a guy at one of my AA meetings who is on his phone the whole meeting, every meeting. He doesn't talk. But something about how he carries himself makes me wonder if he's on the spectrum...because he was there before I joined, he still shows up all the time, and no one ever calls him on it. He stands in the closing circle and recites, but he won't hold hands. He has unique mannerisms. I think he has a deeper story than I'm privy to, because I'm sure they wouldn't quietly tolerate it for this long...I've been in that meeting over a year now. He talks to people individually, just not in groups.
I'm an addict, so I do try to get something out of the meetings. Some meetings that's easy, some meetings the only good I can find is that it made me leave my house.

It might be me

Big Blondie, ASN, BSN, MSN, APRN · Mar 31, 2018

Or maybe it's me!