Was told this career isn't right for me....

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Hey guys, I saw a career counsellor not too long ago and he told me that he doesn't think nursing is the right career. I don't have anything personal against the advisor, but I honest feel a bit crushed and saddened. Almost as if he shook my sense of direction. He's goal is not to insult me, and I do not feel offended...Just really really sad.

The career advisor asked me about what I see in a work environment and many other questions. I answered honestly...now he feels it isn't right and I feel like I need to justify my want... I also have anxiety ...low confidence...and I suck at chemistry and math....At the same time, I feel like a suck at everything else I do anyway... I have an appointment to see another academic advisor for what I need to do to be a nursing student / get accepted and then I will be seeing the career counsellor again. Because I have anxiety, my grades aren't high. And I realize nursing is highly competitive.

I am in second year of university.

He might have said nursing may not be right for me out of many reasons...it may be the emotionally demanding aspects...the work environment...the patient interaction...etc...whatever reason it is... I do believe he was talking in realistic terms... I feel like everyone keeps telling me "you can't" or "you shouldn't" and then they wonder why I have no confidence and it feeds into a cycle.

Nursing is the only thing I have interest in, but I was afraid of it at first...I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been. Sure, I've heard nursing pays a lot, but I have a strong sense that nursing is not a field where I would go in it for the money. If it's anything, it's more of a bonus. I know that nursing takes a great deal of hard work once you graduate, the hard work is continous.

Can someone give me any advice? I am very broken hearted. :vlin:

I can't accept my limits... because I have so many of them I might as well work in a low wage job. I want to push myself. My ambition in life may just to get married. The end.

I'm sad, because I have to work hard for everything in high school and even hard work didn't pay off. By the time I got to university, I felt so defeated and I'm giving up. To always be told you can't this and you can't that by many people...takes it's toll after 6 - 10 years. :crying2:

If I try and fail... people will just be like, 'I told you so, why didn't you listen to me in the first place? "

if I don't try... I will spend the rest of my life dreaming instead of working towards it...or wondering what could have been.

Is life even worth living if you can't do things you want, be like every other depressed adult who lived an unfulfilling life when it isn't necessary?

Specializes in CVIC, ortho surgery.

I was never told I was not cut out to be a nurse but many openly questioned my choice to enter nursing school, my mother, sister, and clinical instructor included. I graduated with honors two years ago and feel I am practicing at a level consistent with my experience in a caring manner. There are so many areas of nursing practice that I find it difficult to accept that there isn't a nursing field that would not suite you. Keep working toward your goals.

I see. Well, if it's other circumstances that's fine. I just thought your whole objective based on the nay sayers. Thanks!

I attended the 91-Charlie LVN school in the US Army many years ago. One of my instructors a retired oncology nurse , told me she was going to fail me, because she didn't feel that men where caring enough to be nurses. She did exactly what she said she would, and I worked like a dog to get myself recycled back into the next class. As much to prove her wrong as anything else. I not only proved her wrong by passing the Army LVN program and getting my liscence, but went on to get my BSN and MSN. I've now spent 20+ years in a career that in hine-sight, I can see I really wasn't well suited for, and really didn't enjoy, but damn it, I proved those who told me I couldn't do it wrong! Who really won, and who really lost..... Who knows?

If this is the same person I once knew, she dated and married a fellow nursing student. Strange that she should completely change her viewpoint about men in nursing over the years.

Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

Hmm - I am old enough to realize that sometimes I should pay more attention to what others tell me. My own opinion is often not objective enough to understand the whole picture. Bottom line - I have learned to recognize my own limitations & focus instead on things I can achieve.

I am so sorry that the OP is at a downward slope in life right now, but based on the info provided, I would tend to agree with the counselor. Nursing is not the career for anyone who has a lack of confidence, anxiety, emotional vulnerabilty, etc. even BEFORE getting started in the educational process. Coping with the additional stress would certainly not be beneficial in this instance. Professional nursing is science based and success is highly dependent upon one's ability not only to 'get by' but also to really understand and apply that math, chemistry, microbiology, A&P, etc. If the interest or ability is not there in the first place . . . it doesn't bode well for success. Our patients deserve the brightest & best.

One more reality -- nursing is not a 'high paying' career. Although it is being overshadowed by the current economic mess, there are many other comparable fields that have much better compensation and career potential without the stress.

Hmm - I am old enough to realize that sometimes I should pay more attention to what others tell me. My own opinion is often not objective enough to understand the whole picture. Bottom line - I have learned to recognize my own limitations & focus instead on things I can achieve.

I am so sorry that the OP is at a downward slope in life right now, but based on the info provided, I would tend to agree with the counselor. Nursing is not the career for anyone who has a lack of confidence, anxiety, emotional vulnerabilty, etc. even BEFORE getting started in the educational process. Coping with the additional stress would certainly not be beneficial in this instance. Professional nursing is science based and success is highly dependent upon one's ability not only to 'get by' but also to really understand and apply that math, chemistry, microbiology, A&P, etc. If the interest or ability is not there in the first place . . . it doesn't bode well for success. Our patients deserve the brightest & best.

One more reality -- nursing is not a 'high paying' career. Although it is being overshadowed by the current economic mess, there are many other comparable fields that have much better compensation and career potential without the stress.

Hmm..Tx... I'm not exactly crushed by what you are telling me...but...

let's see you try to handle a whole family that verbally and psychologically abused you continuously for SIX years minimum (but it started in childhood)...I don't feel sorry for myself, and not once have I contemplated suicide..in my opinion, that's a form of thick skin right there...be me, and see where the confidence will lie, and how your anxiety is afterwards in the Asian culture. How you would turn out... it isnt a pretty sight... Trust me, you will then understand how I am feeling. I wasn't born a wimp and yes, I have to work hard at science. This isn't some sob story I'm telling, this is just an insight.

I can spot the irony though...it's people (like you and the counselor) who say you "shouldn't" or "can't" that contributes to the source of WHY I am the way I am. But the credit given is that you are saying it with reason and the fact that you are a nurse.

Do you have any idea what it's like to always be told you'll never amount to anything

Or you suck at everything?

Or that you'll always be last in everything when you are twelve up to adulthood?

To get laughed at and be told you'll get fired...everytime you tried something new?

To be told that you are ALWAYS doing something wrong?

And at first you'll be able to brush that aside, it isn't a big deal. But it gets exhausting. They are just a couple of comments here and there...

Am I being punished for something I did a long long time ago that I did not seek redemption for?

I don't know if nursing is right for me. And I take your words as a warning.

Funny thing is, this whole thing is very much a cycle I have to break...nursing or not nursing... whatever career.

Again, it's I honestly THINK it is...not so much that I know...

Specializes in OR, Office.

If you have the drive and the passion, that's half the battle. It's good you're seeing a therapist but a life coach could help as well to help you see your strengths, etc. Even if you are not strong in one area, you could be a master in another. I;m an OR nurse and I tried office nursing but I hated it half the time. I sucked at phone triage but I loved the office surgical procedures and dressing changes, etc. I felt like a failure because I couldn't triage someone and take a good history on the phone, but the doctors loved me helping them in the rooms. Find your strengths and play those up. You have them, just identify them and feel good about it. Everyone is not good at everything and every nurse is not good in every area. We all have areas we love and areas we hate. I love the OR but other nurses hate it. It takes all kinds.

Specializes in NICU.

When I was in high school, I was told by a teacher that I would never go to college. I was shy and quiet, didn't have much self confidence, and she didn't help. It took a few years, but she was so wrong! Nursing school was the best thing I ever did!

Give yourself time, if you are going to college, you don't have to commit to a career path right now. One thought would be to do some volunteer work in a hospital, which would give you an idea of what we do and how you feel about it.

Actually, when I contemplated nursing, I volunteered at the hospital in the pediatric ward. It was great! In the longest time, I generally felt like I did something worthy and I just wasn't a waste of human space...I didn't sit on my butt and decided to become one...I went out to check out the enivonrment and such.

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