Was told this career isn't right for me....

[Crystal112]

Hey guys, I saw a career counsellor not too long ago and he told me that he doesn't think nursing is the right career. I don't have anything personal against the advisor, but I honest feel a bit crushed and saddened. Almost as if he shook my sense of direction. He's goal is not to insult me, and I do not feel offended...Just really really sad.

The career advisor asked me about what I see in a work environment and many other questions. I answered honestly...now he feels it isn't right and I feel like I need to justify my want... I also have anxiety ...low confidence...and I suck at chemistry and math....At the same time, I feel like a suck at everything else I do anyway... I have an appointment to see another academic advisor for what I need to do to be a nursing student / get accepted and then I will be seeing the career counsellor again. Because I have anxiety, my grades aren't high. And I realize nursing is highly competitive.

I am in second year of university.

He might have said nursing may not be right for me out of many reasons...it may be the emotionally demanding aspects...the work environment...the patient interaction...etc...whatever reason it is... I do believe he was talking in realistic terms... I feel like everyone keeps telling me "you can't" or "you shouldn't" and then they wonder why I have no confidence and it feeds into a cycle.

Nursing is the only thing I have interest in, but I was afraid of it at first...I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been. Sure, I've heard nursing pays a lot, but I have a strong sense that nursing is not a field where I would go in it for the money. If it's anything, it's more of a bonus. I know that nursing takes a great deal of hard work once you graduate, the hard work is continous.

Can someone give me any advice? I am very broken hearted. :vlin:

I can't accept my limits... because I have so many of them I might as well work in a low wage job. I want to push myself. My ambition in life may just to get married. The end.

I'm sad, because I have to work hard for everything in high school and even hard work didn't pay off. By the time I got to university, I felt so defeated and I'm giving up. To always be told you can't this and you can't that by many people...takes it's toll after 6 - 10 years.

If I try and fail... people will just be like, 'I told you so, why didn't you listen to me in the first place? "

if I don't try... I will spend the rest of my life dreaming instead of working towards it...or wondering what could have been.

Is life even worth living if you can't do things you want, be like every other depressed adult who lived an unfulfilling life when it isn't necessary?

[jcol1460]

here's my 2 cents....you need to go see a counselor first and get your depression under control.

and then, ask yourself what would you do if you knew you could not fail? better to try and fail at something, than to not try at all and always wonder. if nursing is your love, then try. but just understand that you can be of no good to anyone else if you are not taking care of yourself first.

good luck.

[KB24]

Go see a therapist.

You can do anything in this world if you put your mind to it and you work hard for it. Don't ever let someone tell you, you can't do anything.

I had a teacher in high school who told me I was never going to be something in this world. I used that as motivation for the past four years in college. I graduate this year with honors and hopefully start nursing school next spring.

The only person who can stop you from accomplishing anything in this world is you.

Good luck.

[EricJRN, MSN, RN]

Lots of good people with very good intentions will give you advice about the career path you want to take. It's always good to be open to this kind of advice and to understand where their concerns are, but I think you're the only one who can know for sure where your passion will lie.

When I started in nursing, my neonatal ICU job didn't come naturally to me at all. I had a very rough time and my preceptor repeatedly suggested that I might transfer to ER, where my EMS experience would make me a better fit. I didn't feel like ER was my passion, so I kept struggling in NICU. Eventually I got the hang of it. Now I've been a NICU nurse for over four years and I'm very happy with my job.

I agree with the previous posts though. Your university likely offers free or reduced cost psychological counseling services for enrolled students. Check that out, as it may be the first step to stopping the cycle that you refer to. Once you have a plan to control that, you can focus more on the career plan.

[Crystal112]

Thanks guys! It's really that obvious I need a psych, huh? (I already am seeing one). Progress has been great.

[KB24]

Thanks guys! It's really that obvious I need a psych, huh? (I already am seeing one). Progress has been great.

Nothing wrong with seeing a therapist.

Just don't give up on yourself.

"To succeed, we must first believe that we can."

After you become an RN, send the counselor a picture with your degree and tell him thanks for his motivation.

Good luck and we are here for you, when you need us.

[Gemma08]

Oh, bless your heart! I am happy you are getting some therapy, that will help lift the depression and help you see clearly again. I had a nursing instructor tell me the same thing and when things get rough her words still echo through my head! But then I realize that I have a lot of good qualities and I am a good nurse.. I am not perfect at everything but I have my place in the nursing profession and in this world.. And I realize that people who discourage and fail to recognize the positives in others have issues within themselves and it has more to do with them and not you. It may be true that with your anxiety and sensitivity you may not thrive in every type of nursing position but if nursing is really what you want to do with your life there is certainly a place for you.

As for myself, on a different note, I think nursing can be a very stressful profession and sometimes I wish I didn't go into nursing. This is mainly due to the fact that the job market is sooo bad and there are not a lot of options for those with little experience. I sometimes wish I would've been honest with myself, followed my heart, and not felt like I had to get a college degree (you can be educated and not spend $50k!). Instead I would've been a Pilates instructor/massage therapist/horse trainer and not been in debt. =) But pressures to have a college degree and have a secure (ha!) job were a couple of factors that steered me to nursing. Not that I don't like aspects of nursing but there are limited specialties that are appealing and suitable for me and those happen to be impossible to get at the moment (i.e. med/surg, then to ED or NICU). (btw I did have a great clinic job but left the job to move closer to my family (mistake :S ).

So I guess the moral of my rambling is that you should follow your heart. not do what society tells you or what looks good to other people. don't feel like you have to prove anything. do the thing that makes your heart sing.

maybe I am a dreamer but you only live once right.

best of luck and keep us posted!

[Crystal112]

One of my biggest mistakes was just that - I didn't follow my heart the first time and ignored my want to go into nursing because I often thought that nurses didn't get the respect during high school. and it was looked down upon and such. most of my friends have the mentality of 'going into med cuz its prestigeous' type of thing happening. Now because I didn't following my heart in high school, I missed my chance of getting in plus now I have to take pre-requisites.

[caliotter3]

Take the required courses, apply to the nursing program, and commence your nursing education while taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually. If you truly are not cut out to be a nurse, your nursing school will be the judge of that or your employers once you get on the job. Or after you have been on the job for a reasonable length of time, you will make your own, wise, informed, well thought out, decision to leave nursing.

[Boxlock]

I attended the 91-Charlie LVN school in the US Army many years ago. One of my instructors a retired oncology nurse namedl, told me she was going to fail me, because she didn't feel that men where caring enough to be nurses. She did exactly what she said she would, and I worked like a dog to get myself recycled back into the next class. As much to prove her wrong as anything else. I not only proved her wrong by passing the Army LVN program and getting my liscence, but went on to get my BSN and MSN. I've now spent 20+ years in a career that in hine-sight, I can see I really wasn't well suited for, and really didn't enjoy, but damn it, I proved those who told me I couldn't do it wrong! Who really won, and who really lost..... Who knows?

[Crystal112]

You spend a decade or two proving someone wrong??? I'm just disappointed because it seems like a career I enjoy. If someone told me I wasn't fit for a career and didn't want to do it, I wouldn't care...

That sounds unsatisfying and a lose-lose situation.. You may have proved her wrong, but are you enjoying the quality of your life?

Was it worth proving them wrong?

I'm not entering nursing school just to prove someone wrong, I'm thinking about entering because I honestly think it's the right career.

[Boxlock]

You spend a decade or two proving someone wrong??? I'm just disappointed because it seems like a career I enjoy. If someone told me I wasn't fit for a career and didn't want to do it, I wouldn't care...

That sounds unsatisfying and a lose-lose situation.. You may have proved her wrong, but are you enjoying the quality of your life?

Was it worth proving them wrong?

I'm not entering nursing school just to prove someone wrong, I'm thinking about entering because I honestly think it's the right career.

Yep, Important life lesson is that things seldom turn out the way you plan them, and often, you make compromises, and take what opportunities are available to you at the time, and wind up doing things you never would have chosen for yourself under any other circumstances. I joined the Army to be a helecopter pilot, and wound up a nurse. By the time I'd done eight years, taken additional school etc... I was so invested, I stuck with it, even though it wasn't really what I had originally wanted. Throw in a marriage, a mortgage, a few other little life altering circumstances here and there, and you wind up looking back at your life, wondering what the hell happened and how you ever got here from there. Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been a bad ride, it just wasn't the trail I originally started out on.