Want to be a nurse, just no butt wiping or other yucky stuff please

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Just a heads up to inquiring people who read this site. Nursing involves butt wiping, blood, snot, urine, etc. An RN by your name doesn't mean others deal with yucky realities of patient care.

Also, you will likely have to pay your dues job wise. You probably won't waltz into your dream job straight out of school. And, whatever job you get, you WILL work your rear end off.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
I have to wonder if anyone has ever recognized THEMSELVES in some of these postings? I mean, some of the descriptions are so detailed....and LOTS of nurses come through here.....just wondering.

IF they did, it would be a good reality check.

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IF they did, it would be a good reality check.

Right?! I'm just thinking that some of these stories are SO vivid, they'd have to be in complete and total denial to not recognize themselves.

I do make a point of changing enough of the insignificant parts of any stories I relate so that it may or may not depict anyone known to be living or dead ;)

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

duplicate post

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Believe it or not I change many specifics, but keep the story true, so no one name comes to mind for anyone.

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Specializes in critical care.
I usually do it as slow as possible but when they're like to the extreme there is no way to avoid it. I try to hold my breath until they stop flying but today it was too much and may have inhaled a few ugh hahahaha

Ahhhhhhhh! And THAT is how fungal pneumonia occurs!

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Specializes in critical care.
Who said they hate suctioning? I will suction any/all of your patients if you empty my patient's colostomy bags.

Love mucous and sputum. I even like charting about it...The words viscous, tenacious and copious feed my soul! Yes!

I just vomited a little in my mouth.

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Specializes in critical care.
One of my long-gone repulsive fears was digitally assisting a constipated person. Naturally, in every patient group I was assigned (while I worked acute care after 17 years in psych and chemical dependency) was obstipated or constipated.

That first time I really got someone CLEANED OUT, with a bed pan full of steaming poop and half a box of medium sized gloves poking out of the poop like sad flags -- I FELT GOOOOOOD.

I didn't want to stop! Wait, just let me get that one wayyyy up there . . .

Now I always 'dreaded' disimpaction but once I got going . . . I had a dam fine routine. Just ask me. And those 6H enemas to get rid of bloating and gas? I was a natural at that, too. I loved raising that enema bucket and then -- insert dramatic music of your choice -- dropping it to the floor and watching those fart bubbles come roaring out. The patients' relief was nearly as profound as my own.

Another situation that I displayed innate talent for handling poop in all forms came when I was in charge a few years ago and was called into a room by one of the RNs. Her patient, an ambulatory man in his 50s was working through his gallon of GoLytely and made it into his bathroom just in time to bend over and shoot bloody liquid poop straight backward to splash the wall, the back of the toilet before he could get his rear end on the bowl. The bloody liquid poo was very foul, and the RN was heaving (and trying not to) and the amount of it that missed the bowl was considerable. I sent her to clean up the patient and comfort him, he was humiliated, and I set about to managing the mess in the bathroom. I felt like a G.D'd hero, people!

There is great potential in poop, facing it with courage; you don't know what you are made of, as a nurse, until you conquer poop.

Ladies and gentleman, this post here has officially completed all nurses. There is no other topic worth discussing, ever. You may now close all of the forums. In fact, I think the Internet is now complete.

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Specializes in critical care.
But,but but...the nurses on Greys Anatomy don't clean up pts! Or lift them! They just hand the doctor the chart. And then the bot doctor takes them out for long lunches! That is the nursing I signed up for!

And Cherry Ames has all kinds of doctors dating her! So it must be true!

There are nurses on Grey's???

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Specializes in critical care.

We really need the multiquote back on mobile.

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Specializes in hospice.
We really need the multiquote back on mobile.

It's still there on Android, but it doesn't seem to be on iPhone. I have both, unfortunately, as work gave me a leash....I mean iPhone.....and I'm a Droid girl in my personal life.

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Specializes in critical care.
It's still there on Android, but it doesn't seem to be on iPhone. I have both, unfortunately, as work gave me a leash....I mean iPhone.....and I'm a Droid girl in my personal life.

This may be where out bff-dom ends. 😳 I'm an apple girl.

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I just vomited a little in my mouth.

Can I suction it?

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