Want to leave bedside nursing; any ideas?

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hi, i've been a nurse for almost two years now, mostly in the ed. i really started to dislike my job when the 'ptb' gave me a hard time about time off to spend with my newly adopted twin daughters from poland.

adopting from poland is very difficult. they are now part of the eu and beginning to experience many of the same problems with fertility that the us has had for the last 15 years or so. i have two wonderful adopted daughters, 15 months old, but my experience with the so-called catholic hospital where i worked has made me question my catholic upbringing, if i want to raise my children as catholic, and if i even want to stay in nursing. i know i don't want to stay in bedside nursing.

my husband and i had to make three trips to poland (to krakow, a very long flight). for this the hr director said that i was 'coming and going as i pleased'. this occurred around the holidays. apparently, the 'ptb' were concerned that 'others' would be asking for non-fmla leaves around the holidays also. we were adopt abroad so we had to go when we had to go. (as anyone who has adopted internationally will tell you, it's not the easiest or most predicatable of processes).

then i got the hr meeting, then they dragged out the adoption assistance (2500.00 per child, or 5000.00 altogether) and refused to pay it out according to their own policy. they violated the policy they wrote, and apparently, this is perfectly ok.

when they were supposed to pay the assistance money, i got into an argument with the snake of an hr director. basically, she said/i said another. she then suspended me 'pending investigation' because she thinks i told her that i tape recorded the hr meeting. what i said was "this isn't in my recording of the meeting". i told her that i knew she didn't want to pay this money or she wouldn't keep changing the goal line. she also asked me to transfer to a lesser-known, older, outdated hospital that has real problems with retention (because it is lesser-know, old, and outdated!)

i don't want to stay in bedside nursing. i'm sick of the politics and the egos and the absurd workloads. the stress of working in hospitals has really affected me, and my marriage, and my enjoyment of my children. it's making me depressed, to say the least, and taking its toll on what i thought i was good at.

my husband is 100% supportive of whatever i want to do, work agency for a while, or go per diem someplace, or go back to school in a few months once our girls are settled.

has anyone else had similar experiences out there about hospitals being butt-heads about these kinds of things? i feel that i was lured there under the pretext of getting adoption assistance (some companies in this area pay up to 10k for each child adopted, that's amazing).

anyone have any ideas where i can work in normal clothes, with my adn degree (almost done with my bsn). i'm not particularly interested in being a management stooge, as the two unit managers i've had were astonishing in their ignorance.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

What about case management? I'm doing it with a background of ER and ICU nursing. Another idea might be home care - you have more flexible hours there usually. Good luck...

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I'm sory you went through this Stitchie and yes, I can relate to what you are describing and know many nurses in exactly the same boat: tired of the crap, BS, politics, hostility, and the lip service hospitals give us only to break their own 'policies' and mission statements repeatedly.

Do what is best for you and your family.Take a break if you can to reasess. If you are feeling depressed that is a signal...don't ignore it.. and hugs to you. Enjoy your children. :)

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Thanks -- good to know that someone is listening. I've been thinking about the legal nurse consulting thing since what I'm really passionate about is kicking bad hospital butt...any thoughts? Program opinions?

Cheers to all.

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I have been nursing for 10 years and after this past weekend, I am looking for an alternative to bedside nursing. I worked a 3day weekend shift this weekend with little staff and very needy demanding patients. I got out of bed mon am and felt like pins and needles were sticking in my feet and calfs. I hummed the floor all weekend--Physically I feel awful. I cant imagine going at this rate for 20 more years. I am interveiwing with a Home Health Agency today and I am looking into other options. A nurse I work with does-workmans comp claims-she works mon- friday from home in her home office. Sounds great but I really don't know alot about it. I think she has about 56 on her case and it keeps her pretty busy.

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Amylou, my paltry two years of backstabbing, lying, cheating, low-life managers makes me think that you're a hero for sticking it out for ten years!

Here's a question that NM should be asking (and anyone in admin, for that matter): If we treat all nurses like third graders, who will be there to take care of the us, the nurse managers who acted like butt-holes to the rest of the profession?

If I'm still in bedside nursing in 5 years, someone please place me on a 72 hour hold! :chair:

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Stitchie,

Congratulations on the adoptions of your two daughters. That's so awesome. Adoptions are so stressful esp international. Your hospital should congratulate you not harass you.

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Stitchie,

Congratulations on the adoptions of your two daughters. That's so awesome. Adoptions are so stressful esp international. Your hospital should congratulate you not harass you.

Amen, payday. Instead, you wouldn't believe that I've actually had to hire a lawyer to get the $5,000.00 they have promised in writing to me. Has anyone else had this experience?

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Amen, payday. Instead, you wouldn't believe that I've actually had to hire a lawyer to get the $5,000.00 they have promised in writing to me. Has anyone else had this experience?

Best of luck with yor new family.

Butttttttttttt, on the other hand, remember that while you are out with them, regarless of how long or for what reason, your coworkers are working short handed. Makes for long days or nights when we work short. Plus, you may not be the only one who wants or needs off.

I've been walking the walk for thirty years now, in med/surg and ICU, and I've seen alot of nurses take advantage of FLMA's. And for some reason, everyone wants to blame the manager for being short handed, not the person who called out. I don't understand!

I have been very lucky, and have changed shifts and specialty's to accommodate my family, my education, and my sanity. Look around, there are so many things that nurses can do these days, and I'm sure there is something that will suit your needs, and make you happy. Life is to short!

Good luck

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Best of luck with yor new family.

Butttttttttttt, on the other hand, remember that while you are out with them, regarless of how long or for what reason, your coworkers are working short handed. Makes for long days or nights when we work short. Plus, you may not be the only one who wants or needs off.

I've been walking the walk for thirty years now, in med/surg and ICU, and I've seen alot of nurses take advantage of FLMA's. And for some reason, everyone wants to blame the manager for being short handed, not the person who called out. I don't understand!

I have been very lucky, and have changed shifts and specialty's to accommodate my family, my education, and my sanity. Look around, there are so many things that nurses can do these days, and I'm sure there is something that will suit your needs, and make you happy. Life is to short!

Good luck

On the other hand she really shouldn't have to feel bad about taking FLMA. In situations like this it really is the management that is responsible for making sure the nurses aren't short handed.

Makes me think of the time a co-worker of mine had to take time off work because her infant son was having open heart surgery. Can you believe people were whining about that. Thank heavens I'm leaving that place.

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Amen, payday. Instead, you wouldn't believe that I've actually had to hire a lawyer to get the $5,000.00 they have promised in writing to me. Has anyone else had this experience?

The two large hospitals I am looking at for employment both list the dollar amount paid for an adoption right on the list of benefits that they give applicants. It's right there with all the other benefits, no denying it.

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the two large hospitals i am looking at for employment both list the dollar amount paid for an adoption right on the list of benefits that they give applicants. it's right there with all the other benefits, no denying it.

same as with mine, except that they made it so difficult i had to hire a lawyer. the timeline says first paycheck after you're back on the schedule. two of mine came and went before the blowout with the hr snake.

btw -- i was using personal leave, not fmla. i wasn't eligible for fmla as i hadn't been there a year yet, so i got personal time off. the policy states that they are to pay out vacation and personal time during this time -- both of which i had plenty of. of course i haven't seen a penny.

i notified the nm and scheduler weeks in advance about our travel schedule -- per protocol. i told my nm at my interview that we were adopting from eastern europe. i have no control over these things; if you know of anyone who went thru an international adoption (with the exception of china) ask them how they felt when they would get a referral. it breaks your heart when it doesn't work out, in ways that the fertility treatments didn't. also, your child is in an orphanage; better than being on the streets, but i can tell you that orphanage care is just care and not love.

managers are supposed to manage, and it's not like i called up and said "i'm off to krakow for a month, see you right before christmas!" and although we left christmas night to get our girls, we returned on the 27th (third trip) i worked on dec 31st. i did my part to make the department work.

while i appreciate the diversity of opinions on this issue, this is one of the reasons why i want to leave bedside nursing. my husband and i have been struggling to have a family for 6 years, almost costing us our marriage. we've been thru an inhuman amount of stress these last few weeks. everyone seems to think that having a baby is like growing out your hair. it isn't. some of us truly struggle with family issues, and you never know who it is that's going thru it. the amount of money, effort, stress, and emotional angst to get you to get on the plane, never mind what happens when you get off the plane with your children, is insane. it isn't like dental work. it's forming a family, and well, my co=workers will just have to suck it up for a while. that's why there are prn's and travellers and those who want ot. besides, once they started playing games with my money and everything else, i left them pretty darned short by quitting. too many good jobs out there, per diem or not.

to be told "well, it's inconvienent for you to go to poland to get the children you've desperately wanted for the last 6 years; do you think that another 2 or 3 weeks would be ok? i mean, they are in an orphanage, and being taken care of, right??

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