Wait-listed again, could use a smiley-face.

blondebritbrat · Feb 3, 2005

I would stay with your parents. It seems like you are helping them out a lot too. But I understand feeling like a loser about living back at home. My mom and I had to go live with my grandmother after my parents got divorced because my mom didn't even make enough to pay rent on a tiny two bedroom apartment on the "safe" side of town. My dad got sick and was successful in getting the judge to cut the child support in more than half. We had to drive quite a bit just to get to school and my mom to her job, I had to stay in the same school because it was the only school district around that except for Dallas or Fort Worth and we were quite far from those cities too that offered a deaf ed. program for me since I was a minor and still in high school and needed an interpreter. My mom often felt like she had failed in providing for me but we cleaned house for my grandmother and bought our own food and bought groceries for my grandmother too when she would let us. I think my mom helped pay some of the utility bills when my grandmother would let her. But eventually my mom saved up enough money to go back to the town where we had lived and get an apartment for herself since I was out of school and in my own apartment going to community college. I eventually moved back in with her and felt the same way that I had failed in providing for myself but I am still fairly young and a lot of my friends still live with their parents. I'm only 21 and just recently married. :-)

LydiaNN · Feb 3, 2005

Of course it is okay to stay with your parents! Count yourself fortunate to have parents who love and support (emotionally, not just financially) you, and continue to seek out ways to help them, too. The only time I have an issue with adults living with their parents (and even then it doesn't make it "not okay", since I don't get to decide what's right for other people!) is when parents are treated as if their assistance is an entitlement to their children and not a gift!

hospitalstaph · Feb 3, 2005

I just found out that I'm back on the wait list. They take people in order of application (if they pass the test), and they are on the 2003 applicants. I'm an '04 applicant. Looks "more promising" in 2006. I have a job right now, but it doesn't pay enough to cover my medical bills (I was hospitalized w/o insurance after an accident, also had to have P.T. and tooth replacement) and other bills. So I was living with mom and dad until after school would be over. That way I could pay my bills (with rent, that was a definite no!). Now my car is on its last leg, and I communte, so that's another potential bill looming. Luckily, dad's a mechanic, but he can't make it run forever. I know I'll get in in 2006, and I'm really looking forward to classes, and school. With my rockin' RN mom as a tutor, I'm gonna shine! But now what? I feel so lucky to have found a job now with insurance, and even though it doesn't pay that great, it's better than no job! I'm also really, really fortunate to have a mom and dad that love me enough to put up with me, because I'd definitely be either homeless, or on welfare (and I'd have to quit my job to go on that) without them. They rock! I just feel like such a loser, living at home. I pay them for food (under protest from them!), and am doing a lot of home repairs for them right now. The house is pretty old, and needed repairs, but they haven't been able to do them. My mom is also sick, and I've been taking care of her after work and on the weekends. Is it okay to stay with them another year? Should I give up on this? Try to find another career? Or accept my parents' help? Is this a dumb American question? I know that I'm lucky to live in this country and wrestle with such a dilema as this when others are struggling to find food and dying from abysmal conditions.
Thanks for letting me rant, I do feel a little better now!

Are you applying for ADN or BSN? Just curious because I saw you were in Kansas. I am in MO.

Tracy

nadja9 · Feb 3, 2005

I just found out that I'm back on the wait list. They take people in order of application (if they pass the test), and they are on the 2003 applicants. I'm an '04 applicant. Looks "more promising" in 2006. I have a job right now, but it doesn't pay enough to cover my medical bills (I was hospitalized w/o insurance after an accident, also had to have P.T. and tooth replacement) and other bills. So I was living with mom and dad until after school would be over. That way I could pay my bills (with rent, that was a definite no!). Now my car is on its last leg, and I communte, so that's another potential bill looming. Luckily, dad's a mechanic, but he can't make it run forever. I know I'll get in in 2006, and I'm really looking forward to classes, and school. With my rockin' RN mom as a tutor, I'm gonna shine! But now what? I feel so lucky to have found a job now with insurance, and even though it doesn't pay that great, it's better than no job! I'm also really, really fortunate to have a mom and dad that love me enough to put up with me, because I'd definitely be either homeless, or on welfare (and I'd have to quit my job to go on that) without them. They rock! I just feel like such a loser, living at home. I pay them for food (under protest from them!), and am doing a lot of home repairs for them right now. The house is pretty old, and needed repairs, but they haven't been able to do them. My mom is also sick, and I've been taking care of her after work and on the weekends. Is it okay to stay with them another year? Should I give up on this? Try to find another career? Or accept my parents' help? Is this a dumb American question? I know that I'm lucky to live in this country and wrestle with such a dilema as this when others are struggling to find food and dying from abysmal conditions.
Thanks for letting me rant, I do feel a little better now!

Hey Sister,

You hang in there and keep your chin up. If your parents are willing to help, by all means, feel priveliged!!!!!!!! Accept the help, keep working, and focus on the goal. You will get there. Nursing is a career worth waiting for. You can be getting some prereqs done in the meantime. Read, keep your mind fresh.

Take it from a single, divorced mom who had to put herself through college. I have a BS degree, and am going after my nursing too. I understand obstacles. Just focus on the goal and don't forget to breathe.

BEST OF LUCK

snowfreeze, BSN, RN · Feb 3, 2005

:) and a hug too. Most of us went through a lot to become nurses.

begalli · Feb 3, 2005

Here's your smiley.

Hope it helps.

jschut, BSN, RN · Feb 3, 2005

Here's your smile... :wink2:

and my :twocents: ...

stay with your parents. They obviously love having you there and you will feel good about your career once you get on your feet, and they will be thankful to have been able to help you get there!

Good Luck!

NurseFirst · Feb 3, 2005

Sure, especially when you are a young adult, it can seem like a failure. Don't let it. Here in Northern California, in my class, we have a couple of mid-20s who are living at home, and one woman who is 30-something who lives with her mom and grandmom. It's just too expensive for people to get out on their own here. Some cultures cram extended families into tiny apartments so that the family can survive.

It's about family. It's about love. It's about helping one another. As Americans we emphasize maybe a little too much that fierce sense of independence. Trust me, when you get older and your parents get to the age that they don't function that well on their own, they will likely need your help, and you will be glad to give it. I know that I considered it a honor and a privilege to be able to help my Dad in his last days.

Good luck to you!

NurseFirst

snowfreeze, BSN, RN · Feb 3, 2005

Yeh, stuffing families into very small spaces. My older daughter informed me one evening that she had moved in with me. I had an efficiency apartment, I was at work at the time and yes she presented this to me in person. All I asked was if there was still a path to the bathroom. She is a nurse aid now and applying to nursing schools, engaged to a really cool guy and owns a home with acerage. The other daughter moved in shortly after and now I have a one bedroom apartment in a fairly expensive part of town so the youngest one can finish school here SAFELY. Oh yeh the youngest one now volunteers where I work and she wants to be a Physical Therapist and has been active in ROTC so she can get a scholarship for this training in the future. Show them unconditional love and they can return it to you and the rest of the world.

SmilingBluEyes · Feb 3, 2005

((((HUGS))))

I would stay with the parents. Be glad they can and will allow you to stay. There is always the silver lining......

And just to encourage you, I was out and out rejected my first attempt to go to nursing school. I tried again the next year, and got in. Things may be happening this way for reasons you don't know about now. HUGS.

kukitty · Feb 3, 2005

You guys are the best! I do feel much better now! I went home, talked it over with my folks, and it turns out that this did work out for the best. My mom told me that since I had this extra year, I should just starting taking my gen. eds. I was planning on taking A&P, chem and micro concurrent with school (I'm going to be in an ADN program). Mom said that was a pretty horrible idea, but my decision to make and she understood that I wanted to do this as fast as possible. Well, now I'll be able to take those classes and get them out of the way. I think I'm going to try and take Spanish too, since I'd like to work in New Mexico with community outreach type programs.

We also found out yesterday that my mom is going to have surgery to fuse part of her cervical spine. She's been in severe chronic neck/shoulder pain for about 5 years now, and finally got someone to do a proper work-up on her. Turns out that she barely has any disc material left, and a bone spur pinching a nerve. So, since the recovery time can be pretty hellacious (or so I've heard) and my dad travels a lot for his job, this will work out good because I'll be able to spend more time taking care of her and she won't have to be alone during the week when my dad is gone.

Just needed a little perspective, and encouragement! Thanks everyone!!!