violence

[nurse_clown]

I work the night shift. 1900 - 0700. My patient was in for pain control issues. He had too much Hydromorph Contin and he was too drowsy. There was also some weird orders which I clarified with the doc. So, his night time dose was decreased and sleeping pill held. Then all of a sudden he woke up pulling at his catheter and I.V. He has difficult veins which took me a while to restart that one. My partner was trying to calm him and hold his hands from pulling at his stuff. I tried to give him his pain pill and a sedative but he clamped his mouth shut. Then he turned on me. He pulled my hair, grabbed my arms and was pulling me towards him. I hit my head on the T.V. He let go of one arm and had my arm in both hands and tried to break it. Meanwhile, I'm trying to reorient him. He tried to kick my partner. My hands got scrunched and my wrists are starting to bruise. I'm starting to feel the strain on my back and shoulders. We finally got some different orders for him and after 45 minutes, we got him settled. Then, he woke up at 0600. Alert and oriented. No pain. No confusion. Happy. Polite. Hungry. I filed and incident report after telling my supervisor and the doc.

I don't blame anyone for this. It just happened to be. I was confused what to do at the time. I was worried for his safety and took action to prevent him from injuring himself. Now I'm sitting here with a sore arm and back. It's not sore enough to go back to work though. At least tonight I'm back at my other job. My hand hurts enough to cause me grief when I'm hand writing.

I guess my problem is, I'm emotionally messed up from this. Two years ago, I was raped by a former patient who is currently stalking me. That issue is pretty much under control. It was a violent rape. But, when the patient was grabbing at me and pulling me towards him, I was starting to get very concerned for my own safety. The whole tuned changed from therapeutic to wondering if I was going to come out of it alive. I was scared. Of course, I kept my cool because the nursing part of me took over and I made sure that the chaos turned to order. But, inside I was freaking out. I may have had a "flash back" of the rape. I think it was the look in the eyes. It was vacant.

Since then, I've jumped out of my skin at nearly everything. It shouldn't be a huge issue. I feel bad for the patient. His family and doc. know him to be a very nice guy. I don't doubt that. I was feeling the beginnings of an anxiety attack. But I was the charge nurse that night and fought real hard to maintain control. I should be in control. I'm confused about what I should be feeling. I know what I should feel. I've been trying to make light of the situation. But inside, I can't. It all goes back to the rape.

I'm calling the Employee Assistance Program tomorrow. I need to deal with this. I hate that my personal issues are getting involved with work. I hate feeling like this. You know, I'm really glad I've got the two part time jobs. When one gets to be overwhelming, I can always go to the other one and hide out for a bit. I can concentrate on the other job for a little while.

Well, thanx for reading. I know there must be other threads on the issues. I'll look them up later. But I hear this is common. I just didn't think it would happen to me. One of my nursing professors told us that if you get hurt by a patient, it's your own fault. I was only trying to protect him. Funny, with the former patient, I was just trying to be nice.

[DusktilDawn]

I think your doing the right thing calling Employee Assistance. A friend of mine was date raped and 10 years later events happened that caused issues she had supressed to arise. Thankfully, she did seek help when this happened. I don't think there is anyway you "should" feel in regards to this situation, you feel what you do because of the past and there is no right or wrong way to feel about that.

I hate that my personal issues are getting involved with work.

Your issues are also connected to your work, bear that in mind. You didn't do anything wrong. Despite what you were feeling when the incident occured with the patient, you responded appropriately.

You have my thought and prayers Nurse clown,

Dawn

[Nurse_Smith]

Dear Nurse_Clown, let me express just how sorry I am for what you are going through and for what has happened in the past. I'm sure you did the best you could for your pt. in all of the confusion, and thankfully he turned out ok , now put him aside and concern focus on yourself. Firstly you wrote this other pt. is currently stalking you; this must be delt with now !!! You are not safe.:stone :stone Get this guy behind some bars STAT !!!

Have you been checked out for injurys to you back and wrist ?

Have you been to a therapist for the rape and for the flash-backs?

Just take care of yourself so you can continue to take care of others.

[ShayRN]

I think you are a very brave lady. Hats off to you and your courage. ((((HUGS))))

[Thunderwolf, MSN, RN]

PTSD...common among us...nurses, docs, paramedics, social workers....under rated, under reported, and under treated. Yes, get the help you need.

[LoriAlabamaRN]

I am so, so, so sorry. What an absolute nightmare.

Have you gotten counseling? If not, I strongly, strongly urge you to seek it. I've been through trauma in my past that I didn't even realize I'd never got over... and therapy really set my head straight.

Your professor is WRONG. You are not responsible if a patient hurts you. It is NOT your fault.

Get that former patient arrested! Wasn't he arrested for the rape? The hospital in which you treated him is responsible for the legal aspect of this!

If you find that for awhile you want a break from this type of situation, you may want to look into pediatric nursing, or doctors office, OB-GYN, maternal, something of that sort. I know that there is still the potential for violence in those specialties, but not nearly as likely.

Please let us know how it is working out... and what is this patient doing as far as stalking? Have you gotten a restraining order? And GET A GUN!!! I was stalked before, and was given a gun by the man who is now my husband... it took away most of my fear and feelings of helplessness. Get a gun and learn how to use it. It may save your life.

You'll be in my prayers.

Lori

[rn/writer, RN]

i filed and incident report after telling my supervisor and the doc.

good move. you have to get something like this on record right away.

i guess my problem is, i'm emotionally messed up from this. two years ago, i was raped by a former patient who is currently stalking me. that issue is pretty much under control. it was a violent rape. but, when the patient was grabbing at me and pulling me towards him, i was starting to get very concerned for my own safety. the whole tuned changed from therapeutic to wondering if i was going to come out of it alive. i was scared. of course, i kept my cool because the nursing part of me took over and i made sure that the chaos turned to order. but, inside i was freaking out. i may have had a "flash back" of the rape. i think it was the look in the eyes. it was vacant.

very apt description of ptsd. you did an amazing job of maintaining your nursing demeanor while all your personal alarms were going off. your description of the "vacant eyes" is chilling.

since then, i've jumped out of my skin at nearly everything. it shouldn't be a huge issue.

the "issue" isn't the current patient. it's your unmet needs regarding being raped and your current lack of safety with the rapist still stalking you. did you file a police report? was he ever charged? no matter what the answer are, many municipalites now understand the frightening dynamics of stalking and have anti-stalking laws to help protect women like you. please, please, please make the most of the legal avenues available to you. and, if you haven't already, contact local women's support groups who might be able to help you sort some of this out and provide ongoing care.

i was the charge nurse that night and fought real hard to maintain control. i should be in control. i'm confused about what i should be feeling. i know what i should feel. i've been trying to make light of the situation. but inside, i can't. it all goes back to the rape.

well, of course it does. again, i say, you did a magnificent job of separating the patient from his actions and seeing that he got what he needed. now it's time to see that you get what you need.

i'm calling the employee assistance program tomorrow. i need to deal with this. i hate that my personal issues are getting involved with work. i hate feeling like this.

another good move. you're a human being, not an appliance. this is exactly what eaps are there for. and it's further documentation of this incident in case you have further physical or emotional needs.

one of my nursing professors told us that if you get hurt by a patient, it's your own fault.

this is soooo not true. you can exercise all the caution you have available to you, but the only way you can guarantee that a patient will never hurt you is to use robotic arms from behind a plexiglas window. i work postpartum and i've been scratched by newborns. i also used to work in child and adolescent psych and, though i personally was spared, saw many of my co-workers injured despite many safety precautions. your professor is blowing smoke on this one.

funny, with the former patient, i was just trying to be nice.

time to be nice again, only this time, to yourself.

please, look into taking legal action against the stalker. let the eap provide what they can. connect with a support group. consider taking a self-defense course. contact local mental health facilities and see if you can participate in one of their employee training sessions that teach you how to break holds and minimize the damage if a patient bites you or grabs your hair. even if this situation never comes up again, you'll feel stronger if you know what to do.

thank you so much for being courageous enough to share this with us. your vulnerability could send you into hiding and isolation and that is the last thing you need.

i heartily admire you for taking such good care of your patient. please give yourself the same respectful treatment. and let us know how your are doing.

[HONEYBEAR]

PTSD...common among us...nurses, docs, paramedics, social workers....under rated, under reported, and under treated. Yes, get the help you need.

Ditto.......pls get yourself checked over.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I'm sorry this happened. I hope you find some peace soon. Good luck. I won't add anymore to the good advice so far.

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

:icon_hug:

Great advice there. I completely understand what you're feeling, and you know what? You did nothing wrong and your feelings at this point are completely normal for someone who has gone through what you've been through.

Please take care and know that we all are in your corner, fully cognizant of the fact that it could happen to anyone.