Verbal abuse

Specialties Private Duty

Published

I just want to share a situation that happened to me at work. I always appreciate reading about other people's work experiences. I have had a private duty client, a child, for 3 1/2 years. the family has been through ups and downs, like any family, and I have gone with the flow. Yesterday, I arrived at the client's home and mom told me "she is sick I want her to stay home from school today". Well OK, this happens sometimes, so I proceed to assess the patient. Mom leaves, to go to work I assumed. So extended family member, a man, walks in, sees that the child is asleep in bed, and he goes berserk. Yelling, "what is she doing in bed, why didn't she go to school?" I state "she is ill, mom wants her to stay home today". So man says :if she's sick she's going to the ER. " So I say "she doesn't need to go to the ER her vital signs are stable and she just needs some rest." So man goes "crazy", yelling at me and child, "get up, get dressed, we're going to school or ER. Saying "you're incompetent, and crazy" So I call mom and by now I'm so frightened I'm sobbing. I tell her she needs to come home now. She wasn't at work yet so she comes home. In the meantime he yells and yells. I call my agency, I'm crying so hard I can hardly speak coherently. I've been a nurse for a LONG time and I know how to control my emotions but this man was scaring me. So mom comes home and drives us to school. She is afraid of man as well. I shook for hours. Yes the girl was sick but she managed. Plus he got personal, saying "no wonder you're divorced you're so annoying and difficult". I told my agency I would stay with her that day but I refused to go back. So after a few hours the agency calls and says why don't you take tomorrow off and go back the next day? I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I said absolutely not, I will not work in a hostile environment and be abused. I might say that the man is very difficult and has made inappropriate comments before but yesterday was the last straw. He asked me once if I was a lesbian, which I'm not but that's so inappropriate. He has asked me about my religious preferences and I say "I'm not going to discuss that". He has abused many health care workers in the past but no one ever reported him to my knowledge. Well I'm out of there but nobody seems to care. I want empathy.thanks

Specializes in Cardio-Pulmonary; Med-Surg; Private Duty.

I would probably call Child Protective Services.

Even if you don't think he would harm the child directly, such as striking the child, if he's scaring off the child's caretakers, that is causing harm in a way. It's also not healthy for the child to be ejected from the home while ill, or to witness the screaming and name-calling.

At least if you call and report it to CPS, you can have a clear conscience that you did your best for the child. If CPS decides not to follow up on it, then the onus is on them -- at least you tried.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I am in awe of you. You stayed and got the child to a safe environment. I am not sure I would have been collected enough to manage that. Good for you for being brave and not going back. The child is your patient, not him.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ED, Cardiac-step down, tele, med surg.

Sorry this happened to you. It sounds like you did all the right things. I think calling CPS might be a good idea. This guy sounds like a possible abuser. I have never had someone attack me verbally in that manner before, but if I was, safety would be a priority. I wouldn't say anything to provoke them. If my safety were assured, I would let them know that their behavior is making me uncomfortable and ask for a calmer interaction. I have dealt with hostile patients before, one of them was having some sort of mood episode, so I spoke calmly to them, explained things in a factual manner and assured the patient I had their best interest at heart. This patient did end up being escorted out by security and ended up in jail for the night but I did my best to calm him down. He did not hit anyone, which was a plus.

Don't feel you have to put up with these kinds of things. Occasionally a hostile situation can occur but it shouldn't be something nurses have to tolerate. Safety is the number one priority. The agency you work for should not send you back to this home as it seems unsafe.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in nurseline,med surg, PD.

The child hasn't had a nurse for 2 days. Hasn't been to school. Grandpa is caring for her. I don't know how! I hope he is happy.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Bless you! What ticks me off is that 3 1/2 yrs you have been there and the agency didn't even back you. Telling you to take a day off? I feel like if you stay or go back, he's going to do it again. That's the way abusive people are. I'm truly sorry. and I'd find a different agency if possible.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in nurseline,med surg, PD.

Yep. Working on that.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in nurseline,med surg, PD.

I want to post a follow up. When this situation happened I was SO stressed and unhappy. I did go back to the case because the crazy man moved out. However I wasn't completely happy, I felt something was missing from my life. Well, miracles do happen. As of last month, I am living in a different state, with a satisfying new job, and a meaningful relationship. All this happened so quickly. I just want to tell people that problems do resolve themselves eventually, and you never know what the future may hold.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment