Venting over my own doubts and fear of success

mariedoreen · Jul 31, 2004

Yeah. I know what you mean. It's like you've spent all this time working towards "the dream" (nursing school). And of course your enthusiasm was high because all you were really focused on at that time was making it... achieving "the dream". Now... you've done it and you've gotten accepted and you are on the threshold of entering into nursing school. This is the point where everyone who worked so hard to get here and was so giddy at the idea of being accepted stops and takes a step back. And then they allow the doubts to sweep in and, in some cases, overwhelm them. What if... But... Two years??? Clinicals... Difficult theory... Can I do it? Am I up to this? Do I really want this?? What about my marriage? The bills? The kids? Oh my gosh can I juggle all this??

First you need to know, that this is normal and that probably 99.9% of us are feeling this. We're all on this roller coaster cycle of OMG what did I get myself into?? You're not feeling the same enthusiasm because you're no longer in the same situation. While you were working on pre-reqs your enthusiasm came from knowing you were pushing forward and slowly but surely succeeding at getting yourself to the point of being accepted to nursing school. Now you're in a different situation, you're accepted and your enthusiasm has had to check out while some other emotions get your attention for a little while... It's normal, it's a new situation and you're evaluating how you feel about this new reality. It's scary. And the best thing I've found for dealing with it, is to push through it. Keep going and allow yourself the opportunity to get to the other side, experience the success of having taken on something that you perceived to be scary or difficult and conquered it.

The one thing that has really calmed my anxiety has come from talking to other nursing students (and reading through the threads on this website) and discovering that I'm not alone in how I'm feeling, it's really pretty universal, and that it doesn't mean that nursing is no longer what I want... it simply means that I'm anxious about this change in my life and my ability to handle it.

My new motto: Nothing to it but to do it! But the one I love the most... sorry I can't remember which poster should get credit for it tho:

If God brings you to it, then He'll bring you through it.

Take care, you're gonna be okay!

shyne · Jul 31, 2004

I felt the same way when I first started my first semester of nursing. I was really thinking if this was right for me or not. I think that it is normal how your feeling and everyone has the same doubts. Give it a shot and think about it very hard before quitting.

RNSuzq1, RN · Jul 31, 2004

I do not understand me - I am the biggest mystery I know of. I think this is mostly because my fear of financial ruin due to me not being able to work full time, and because of potential marriage problems resulting from said ruin. Actually, I think I have to come to terms with having a fear of success - inherited from my mom (thanks a lot).
My husband says it is a phase and it will pass, but he has also expressed dismay and said I would be foolish to give up now after all I have done so far. No matter what I do, my enthusiasm will not reappear.

Hi StarTrek, First, I totally agree with the previous poster - I think it's something a lot of us are feeling. I've wanted this for years, finally got a chance to go for this and was so excited about the thought of it all. I was thrilled a few weeks ago to hear I was accepted for this Fall - ran out and ordered my uniforms, etc. - then a feeling of total dread came over me.

I left a horrible paying part-time job last month to free up some time to finish a Nutrition Course I've been taking all Summer, spend time with the kids, weed my garden and get my house and life very organized before school starts. I had all these plans - mostly searching for a part-time weekend job (because I know with school full-time, studying, taking care of the kids, house, etc. - I won't be able to fit a job in during the week). I'm so totally disgusted with myself - besides working on my Class and "bare minimum housework" - I've become a "slug", sleeping in late (no job to go to), (the couch, tv and I have become very intimate friends - :uhoh21: ) - it's disgusting.. I've done none of the things I had planned to do and know I have to snap out of this and get my "rear in gear" and fast because my kids go back to school the week after next and I start on the 20th... I'm the type that has to have somewhere to go and someone expecting me to show up at a certain time (great under pressure) - but give me some free time and stupidly I waste it. I think deep down I'm scared out of my mind of failing at the one thing I've always wanted to do and channeling all my fears into "the couch" - ha, ha... That's a joke - sort of.. :chuckle

You said you were accepted for 2005 and your main worry is finances. Since you have a year to wait - can you put some money away during that time so it won't be such a strain when school starts? Also, you seem afraid of marital problems caused by any financial problems - but from the sound of it, your husband seems very supportive and wants you to do this - seems like a nice guy. A lot of people take out student loans to help out with all the expenses - maybe you can do that so you won't have to worry so much about money while you're in school. Our oldest son is in college and just took out a school loan - I think he has up to 10 years to pay it back after he graduates. You'll be making a pretty decent salary as a Nurse (so a loan is definitely one way to do this)...

You obviously wanted this bad enough to spend the last 3 years in school preparing for a Nursing Career - it would be such a shame not to go ahead and at least give it a try - you might Love IT and make a Fantastic Nurse. You said you work in Admin. - maybe between now and when school starts you could find a job as a Ward Secretary - you'll have tons of exposure to patients and see what the Nursing Staff does, so you'll really know if this is the career for you.

Anyways, you are definitely not alone in how you're feeling. Do not be afraid of Success - you worked hard to get accepted and you can do this (just keep repeating that)... Hope this helped you out a bit. Take Care and let us know what you decide. Susan

Saved_by_Grace · Jul 31, 2004

yeah. i know what you mean. it's like you've spent all this time working towards "the dream" (nursing school). and of course your enthusiasm was high because all you were really focused on at that time was making it... achieving "the dream". now... you've done it and you've gotten accepted and you are on the threshold of entering into nursing school. this is the point where everyone who worked so hard to get here and was so giddy at the idea of being accepted stops and takes a step back. and then they allow the doubts to sweep in and, in some cases, overwhelm them. what if... but... two years??? clinicals... difficult theory... can i do it? am i up to this? do i really want this?? what about my marriage? the bills? the kids? oh my gosh can i juggle all this??
first you need to know, that this is normal and that probably 99.9% of us are feeling this. we're all on this roller coaster cycle of omg what did i get myself into?? you're not feeling the same enthusiasm because you're no longer in the same situation. while you were working on pre-reqs your enthusiasm came from knowing you were pushing forward and slowly but surely succeeding at getting yourself to the point of being accepted to nursing school. now you're in a different situation, you're accepted and your enthusiasm has had to check out while some other emotions get your attention for a little while... it's normal, it's a new situation and you're evaluating how you feel about this new reality. it's scary. and the best thing i've found for dealing with it, is to push through it. keep going and allow yourself the opportunity to get to the other side, experience the success of having taken on something that you perceived to be scary or difficult and conquered it.
the one thing that has really calmed my anxiety has come from talking to other nursing students (and reading through the threads on this website) and discovering that i'm not alone in how i'm feeling, it's really pretty universal, and that it doesn't mean that nursing is no longer what i want... it simply means that i'm anxious about this change in my life and my ability to handle it.
my new motto: nothing to it but to do it! but the one i love the most... sorry i can't remember which poster should get credit for it tho:
if god brings you to it, then he'll bring you through it.
take care, you're gonna be okay!

very well said!!!! i agree 100%. i felt this way too and am very anxious as the class start date fastly approaches!:uhoh21:

Jill1215 · Jul 31, 2004

yeah. i know what you mean. it's like you've spent all this time working towards "the dream" (nursing school). and of course your enthusiasm was high because all you were really focused on at that time was making it... achieving "the dream". now... you've done it and you've gotten accepted and you are on the threshold of entering into nursing school. this is the point where everyone who worked so hard to get here and was so giddy at the idea of being accepted stops and takes a step back. and then they allow the doubts to sweep in and, in some cases, overwhelm them. what if... but... two years??? clinicals... difficult theory... can i do it? am i up to this? do i really want this?? what about my marriage? the bills? the kids? oh my gosh can i juggle all this??
first you need to know, that this is normal and that probably 99.9% of us are feeling this. we're all on this roller coaster cycle of omg what did i get myself into?? you're not feeling the same enthusiasm because you're no longer in the same situation. while you were working on pre-reqs your enthusiasm came from knowing you were pushing forward and slowly but surely succeeding at getting yourself to the point of being accepted to nursing school. now you're in a different situation, you're accepted and your enthusiasm has had to check out while some other emotions get your attention for a little while... it's normal, it's a new situation and you're evaluating how you feel about this new reality. it's scary. and the best thing i've found for dealing with it, is to push through it. keep going and allow yourself the opportunity to get to the other side, experience the success of having taken on something that you perceived to be scary or difficult and conquered it.
the one thing that has really calmed my anxiety has come from talking to other nursing students (and reading through the threads on this website) and discovering that i'm not alone in how i'm feeling, it's really pretty universal, and that it doesn't mean that nursing is no longer what i want... it simply means that i'm anxious about this change in my life and my ability to handle it.
my new motto: nothing to it but to do it! but the one i love the most... sorry i can't remember which poster should get credit for it tho:
if god brings you to it, then he'll bring you through it.
take care, you're gonna be okay!

well said, mariedoreen! you have such a way with words, have you considered a double major in creative writing?! i agree with everything the above poster has said. find yourself a good nursing buddy who you can relate to and who you can confide and share your feelings with. everybody needs a good support system to get through this challenge. you got yourself into a program (which is no small feat!) i think somewhere deep inside you know you are going to also get yourself through it. do not let your fear stop you. you can succeed.

wannabebabyRN · Jul 31, 2004

I know how yall are feeling. I am scared to death of entering the nursing program on AUg 18. I fear that i won't succeed or that i will find out its not for me. I know its just anxiety because i love going through my cna program and i want to be a nurse so badly. I am just scared to death of failure because i want to become a nuse so badly. I feel that it will be ok once i start school on the 18th its just nerves and anxiety.

If we all stick together will be ok.

hypnotic_nurse · Jul 31, 2004

It sounds like this has been a long term problem, and not just with nursing school. Have you thought about talking to someone trained to do counseling? It sounds as though some things in your early life may make it hard for you to give yourself permission to enjoy reaching for your goals.

HisTreasure, BSN, RN · Aug 1, 2004

Sweety, it is hard because now it is a reality. I remember feeling the same way you feel. I questioned my abilities, questioned my self as a wife and mother. I kept thinking "What if I fail out? I'll let everyone down." I felt selfish, like I was going to be neglecting my family to fulfill my own dreams. Then I realized what I was feeling was normal but irrational. I'm doing this for my family. If I fail out, it's because this is not what God would have for me; but then, why would He have worked everything out so that this opportunity was given to me if this wasn't meant for me? I've been in school a month and I love it, but I find myself counting down the days until summer session ends (4 days!). Basically, follow your heart, and don't let yourself get caught up in the doubt. You really want this...you've worked toward it for three years, and your spouse knows you want this too. Your marriage may be strained, but in the end I fully believe it will be worth it, and your lives/marriage will be that much better. Good luck.

VickyRN, MSN, DNP, RN · Aug 1, 2004

It's kind of like having a baby. Those nine long months you are pregnant you have this fantasy about your "dream child." Once the baby arrives, he/ she is wonderful but it's just an overwhelming responsibility and the reality of the situation often does not match that romanticized dream. Or marriage/ romance. You have this "dream image" of the perfect marriage, but real life just isn't that way.

You have dreamt about nursing school for so long--perhaps romanticized it--now that it is becoming a fact, reality is setting in and you are becoming frightened.

It's normal to feel ambivalence.

However, if you have noticed a pattern over the years of self-sabotage (especially when you were right on the verge of success in an area), then this is another matter. If this is the case (and you indicated from your post that this is a strong possibility), then you should seek some counseling ASAP to avoid self-destructing your dream of becoming a nurse while you are in nursing school.

Carolanne · Aug 4, 2004

I think that many of us are our own worst enemies, myself included. We dream and plan and pursue a goal and then worry and fret and stay awake with the what if's all night. The negative side of us pops up all the red warning flags about things that could go wrong, most of all failure. Really focus on the positive spirit in you, the one that led you to pursue nursing in the first place. Listen to that voice telling you that you can do this if you really want it, no matter how frustrated or discouraged you may get at times. It's all a test, a test to prove what you're made of. Don't give in to the negative voice. Stay positive, praise and commend yourself for your achievements, and strive toward your goal. You can do it!!!!

PCGrad06 · Aug 4, 2004

it is like you are running around inside of my head! these are the thoughts that go though my mind non~stop. :rotfl:

yeah. i know what you mean. it's like you've spent all this time working towards "the dream" (nursing school). and of course your enthusiasm was high because all you were really focused on at that time was making it... achieving "the dream". now... you've done it and you've gotten accepted and you are on the threshold of entering into nursing school. this is the point where everyone who worked so hard to get here and was so giddy at the idea of being accepted stops and takes a step back. and then they allow the doubts to sweep in and, in some cases, overwhelm them. what if... but... two years??? clinicals... difficult theory... can i do it? am i up to this? do i really want this?? what about my marriage? the bills? the kids? oh my gosh can i juggle all this??