Useless Shift Report Information

Nurses General Nursing

Published

All I really want to hear in shift report is pretty much the basic patient info, precipitating reason for admission, areas of medical concern, meds & treatments, and current status.

I don't give a rat's rear if the reporter likes or dislikes the patient, thinks the patient acts like a two year old, or believes the hospital will not be reimbursed for services. (We just discharged a patient who had been there for 5 months.)

Ever get any useless information in your shift reports?

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
1 hour ago, Neo Soldier said:

It's not enough that I hand her my SBAR (which I'm totally not required to do); she insists that I read my SBAR word for word- literally. I could be in the middle of giving her pertinent information, you know, like labs and she says, "so what race is he?" It's frustrating I tell ya!!

My work wife, Eleanor, often says of situations like this, "It made me want to stab her eye out with an ink pen!"

Empathy to you, Neo Soldier!

2 Votes
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
2 hours ago, Davey Do said:

Actually, Snatchedwig, I like it when nurses possess the ability to talk techy. No kidding, I've had nurses ask these:

What's "anhedonia"?

What's "asystole"?

You've gotta be kidding. How in the name of all that is reasonable could someone get through nursing school without knowing those basic terms?! Please tell me this is just for laughs...

2 Votes
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
29 minutes ago, VivaLasViejas said:

You've gotta be kidding. How in the name of all that is reasonable could someone get through nursing school without knowing those basic terms?! Please tell me this is just for laughs...

When relaying absurd, yet true, information and the recipient says, "You've got to be kidding!", I respond with, "No, I'm funnier than that".

I was giving report and had entered the "anhedonia" as a symptom along with the word "amotivation" on the patient information sheet for one admitted for, and diagnosed with, MDD. A nurse asked what anhedonia meant and a RN instructor who works per diem answered, "It means getting no pleasure out of life".

"Yeah", I said to the enquiring nurse, "It was me trying to be concise and to the point in an attempt to save time but you've just blown that one out of the water!"

A code blue was called on the men's unit when an RN who's only worked psych for over three decades asked what the doctor meant when he said, "The patient is in asystole".

"It means no heart beat", someone replied.

"Ooooooh! So that's what they call that!"

2 Votes
Specializes in Medsurg.
2 hours ago, Davey Do said:

Actually, Snatchedwig, I like it when nurses possess the ability to talk techy. No kidding, I've had nurses ask these:

What's "anhedonia"?

What's "asystole"?

I could do without it

1 Votes
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
1 minute ago, Snatchedwig said:

I could do without it

Yeah, me too, Snatchedwig.

If I was in asystole I could do without getting pleasure out of life.

3 Votes
Specializes in ER OR LTC Code Blue Trauma Dog.

More patient report slapstick comedy for your viewing pleasure...

6 Votes
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
23 minutes ago, Crash_Cart said:

More patient report slapstick comedy for your viewing pleasure...

On the flip side of things, we on psych often admit patients through ER, both as transfers from outside facilities and in house. Sometimes have to nipple twist or testicle kick in order to get basic medical information:

"What?! You want VS?! This is a psych patient!"

"We don't do height and weight here in ER!"

Seriously.

Thank God, the Guardians of the Galaxy, and the Forces That Be we can look up labs:

"Nah- the ERP said the hospiatlist can address the 447 blood sugar during the routine visit tomorrow."

The list goes on.

It goes both ways, I'm sorry to say.

5 Votes
Specializes in Med-Surg/Telemetry.
4 hours ago, Davey Do said:

Actually, Snatchedwig, I like it when nurses possess the ability to talk techy. No kidding, I've had nurses ask these:

What's "anhedonia"?

What's "asystole"?

At least they asked and didn't just pretend to understand.

4 Votes
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
15 minutes ago, saraleigh said:

At least they asked and didn't just pretend to understand.

You're right, saraleigh, or otherwise they might have said:

"The patient has anhedonia which means 'and he don needa nothin'!' "

Or

"The patient is in asystole which means she is 'a sister in the Tole order of nuns!' "

3 Votes
Specializes in Geriatrics.

A previous co-worker of mine said best when she said, "Everybody's breathing and Nobody's on the floor!"

2 Votes
9 hours ago, Davey Do said:

That's fine, but when the reporter gives the details in such a dramatic, disbelieving, condescending, holier-than-thou way, it makes me want to stimulate my uvula with a spoon!

And if such a report involves achieving accuracy by way of mimicry or imitation, watch out. It turns out patients who overhear this kind of report also do not appreciate it. ???‍♀️

3 Votes

??Oh those nurses who go on and on and on so much that I actually after patient number three have many times had to read up on the remaining patients myself because I started to loose interest and scrolled on the latest updates on Pretty Little Liars. And it is always the same nurse.

I kid you not I have heard

This patient likes their water at a tepid temperature not too cold not too warm, is not too fussed on the hospital food so a friend of his brings in food on a Mondaaaaaay and Wednesdaaaaaay and his wife brings it in on Tuesdaaaaay Thursdaaaaaay Saturday and Sundaaaaaaay. I do not really care as long as he eats. I can chase that up myself.

This patient told me the most interesting story about his worklife. One of his cousins worked at the shipyard and one day he decided that he.......blah blah blah.

This patient does not like how he feels when he has opitates so I contacted the doctor and I could not get hold of him. So I then explained to the patient that I would try again and the patient said ok. So at 2am I contacted the doctor again......

All I want to hear is patient can not tolerate opiates so orders changed.

Another one was not even relevent to patients

The hand off started like this

Oh my god have you all heard about * Claire*, one of the CNAs told me what happened so I went onto google searched her name and up came the news story. If you all want to read it it is on the local news. I can send it to your whatsapp. I was so shocked. I always knew there was something about her. One day I was working with her and......

This story continued forever!

I could write a book.

Save the gos for the nurses station. I do not want a kids storybook read to me. Thanks.

5 Votes
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