Upset family member......

Katnip, RN · May 11, 2005

"I see you're upset. Please, tell me about it."

If it's something simple, try to resolve it. One of the biggest causes that upset family members is they aren't informed about how long they have to wait for results, and don't understand procedures. If it's ok with the patient, then take 2 minutes to explain. And every time you get a chance, go back and let them know you're still aware of the wait.

That helps a lot of frustrated people in the ED where I work.

If they're just mean people, kill them with kindness.

Nesher, BSN, RN · May 11, 2005

The ususal bottom line when people are angry is they need to be listened to. HEARD. That means not interrupting, trying to fix things, but hearing what they have to say.

Family members are part of the package when you sign on a nurse.

NurseFirst · May 11, 2005

The ususal bottom line when people are angry is they need to be listened to. HEARD. That means not interrupting, trying to fix things, but hearing what they have to say.
Family members are part of the package when you sign on a nurse.

Right. Sometimes people just need a venue to vent. They are upset, in a foreign "domain", they feel they don't have control over what is going on. In pre-hospital care and CPR, they teach you to instruct the bothersome person to do something--that way they feel useful.

NurseFirst

grinnurse, RN · May 11, 2005

I had a question such as this in an interview too and I said exactly what I would have done in the real world which involved TC.

I believe the scenario went something like this: "After a.m. shift report you go to patient X's room. Her husband is extremely angry with the way his wife was taken care of by the prior shift. He says he doesn't ever want nurse Y to take care of his wife and doesn't understand why she has to be turned all the time." How would you handle the situation with this family member? First of all, I put myself in the situation and said "Mr. X, I am sorry that you felt your wife didn't receive good care on the previous shift. I will let my charge nurse know that you don't wish to have nurse Y to take of your wife again. Then I said, that I would explain the rationale of why it is necessary to turn his wife and that I have to look out for my patient. Then I would say to Mr. X, It seems like you are upset let's talk about it". And this is exactly how I would handle it in the real world if it happens.

Always try to diffuse the situation first. Then talk to the person about what the problem is and try to find a solution or find someone that can find it if you can't. One of instructors put it this way................when a person/family sues a hosp/nurse it is usually from the way their complaints were handled. Who are they more likely to sue, the nurse that tried to solve the problem or the one they perceive as doing nothing? Giving them time to cool off to me would just make them more angry and less likely to be able to find something that works for all.

Sorry for the long windedness of this but even though I hated having to come up TC for school, I know it will pay off in the real world.

HappyNurse2005, RN · May 12, 2005

I had a question like that, but I had to give my own situation. I had one that had happened, where young patient's mom was a nurse. Long story i wont share. I also mentioned in the interview that I tried to see it from that person's point of view to try to understand why they were upset. I guess it was a good answer-I got offered the job.

NancyJo · May 12, 2005

I always allow them to vent and never interrupt. I then try to smooth things over by stating how sorry I am that they are unhappy and ask them what I can do make things better or resolve the problem. If they are voicing c/o that is detrimental to the pt. then I of course try to give rationale, but never make excuses for anyone. Too often I hear nurses say well they had a bad night or they were too short staffed and it doesn't seem to help. They could care less what kind of shift you are having, all they are concerned about is their family member. I also tell them that I am going to discuss the c/o with my boss and then I do. Usually then she and I will both go and tlk with the family, so they know that we are following through. The boss says this my area of expertise and usually sends me in to as she calls it "schmooze". We have a service recovery program here that we can give pt.'s small gift certificates for the cafeteria, gift shop, local stores, phone cards or gas cards to appease some pt.'s and families. At first I thought it would really tick people off by minimizing thier c/o or even see it as buying them off, but I have to say it has been very successful and does seem to help. Avoid confrontation, it only makes things worse.:rotfl:

purplekath · May 12, 2005

I got asked this SAME question in my last job interview. My answer was (and I got the job! lol) to LISTEN, then to REPEAT back to them in your own words what you have heard (eg: "so if I'm understanding you correctly, you are feeling that your family member is not receiving the right medication?"). Once they confirm that you understand what they are saying, then EXPRESS EMPATHY (eg: "I can see how this would make you feel anxious/upset/irritated - I think that I may feel the same way if I were in your shoes"), then offer a range of options and things that you can and cannot do:

(eg: "I'm afraid I cannot personally change this medication order, but I can either double check with the doctor for you, or go and get some information for you and discuss it with you after lunch...etc....which would you like me to do?"). Then, when a resolution is reached, ask, "is there anything else you would like to ask me?", and be prepared to be honest in your response. All the while keeping a calm, empathetic but professional composure (not easy in real life!!! lol!!)

I finished off this bit by saying that in a nutshell I would attempt to see the problem through the family member's eyes - to understand and consider the stressors involved in coping with an ill family member, and to try and make some compensation for this by not taking it personally and seeing beyond my own instinct to "be hurt and defend myself".

Good luck!!

Tweety, BSN, RN · May 12, 2005

Great advices so far. You must listen and allow them to vent.

It always helps me to validate their concerns with a statement like "if it were my child(parent, spouse, whatever), I would want them to get the best care possible also.....". Usually if they see you care and understand even if there's nothing you can do about it, they'll chill out.

Some people are used to yelling and screaming to get what they want and somehow we have to let them know it's inappropriate and unnecessary, that their loved one is going to get the care they need without all the dramatics.

Good luck!

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · May 12, 2005

WHAT I WOULD DO IS...

LISTEN TO THE PERSON AND SHOW THEM THAT YOU CARE. MOST OF THE TIME THEY WILL CALM DOWN, LET THEIR ANGER OUT AND A SOLUTION CAN BE FOUND.

AFTER YOU DO THAT, IF THE PERSON IS STILL FUMING EXPRESS THAT YOU ARE SO SORRY, IF THAT IS STILL THE CASE.....TELL THEM YOU WOULD BE GLAD TO LET THEM SPEAK TO SOMEONE IN MGMT OR IN CHARGE. LET SOMEONE ELSE HANDLE IT. THAT PERSON WILL MORE THAN LIKELY SPEAK WELL ABOUT HOW YOU HANDLED THE SITUATION AND JUST EXPRESS THEIR ANGER ABOUT THE SITUATION THAT IS BOTHERING THEM.

IF YOU DON'T LISTEN TO THEM OR PUSH THEM OFF RIGHT AWAY NOW THEY HAVE TO PROBLEMS. THE ORIGINAL ONE AND ANOTHER WITH YOU AND YOU DO NOT WANT THAT :nono:

PEOPLE LIKE TO BE LISTENED TO AND IT IS IMPORTANT. I KNOW IT MAY CONSUME A FEW MINUTES OF YOUR TIME BUT IT IS FOR THE BETTER.

JESSICA :roll