Here's my story.... : My sister-in-law and I are both going to school for nursing, different schools. She will enter the program Fall 05 but I won't until Fall 2006 because I had to take a year off. The problem is that my in-laws are constantly telling people how wonderful it is that she is going to school to be a nurse but then act as if I am crazy for going back to school for nursing. My m-i-l and s-i-l are constantly talking about/asking me what grades I'm getting in my classes (GPA 3.5) although I don't always tell them and if I say I'm going out with friends or my husband or I have to take my son to the doctor or something (he's 5 months old) they are always telling me how I should be studying or do I really need to go out when I've already spent all of our money on school. :angryfire I don't know why they think I'm going to be a bad nurse because I've had many other people tell me that I will make a wonderful nurse, but I'm sick of my s-i-l always being in competition with me for no reason. I'M GOING TO SCHOOL BECAUSE I WANT TO BE A NURSE, not to do better than her!!! Any advice on how can I end this petty competition that I didn't start in the first place??
Ruby Vee, BSN 67 Articles; 14,023 Posts Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching. Has 40 years experience. May 27, 2005 here's my story.... : my sister-in-law and i are both going to school for nursing, different schools. she will enter the program fall 05 but i won't until fall 2006 because i had to take a year off. the problem is that my in-laws are constantly telling people how wonderful it is that she is going to school to be a nurse but then act as if i am crazy for going back to school for nursing. my m-i-l and s-i-l are constantly talking about/asking me what grades i'm getting in my classes (gpa 3.5) although i don't always tell them and if i say i'm going out with friends or my husband or i have to take my son to the doctor or something (he's 5 months old) they are always telling me how i should be studying or do i really need to go out when i've already spent all of our money on school. :angryfire i don't know why they think i'm going to be a bad nurse because i've had many other people tell me that i will make a wonderful nurse, but i'm sick of my s-i-l always being in competition with me for no reason. i'm going to school because i want to be a nurse, not to do better than her!!! any advice on how can i end this petty competition that i didn't start in the first place??sounds like sil is pretty insecure, huh? for her to feel like she's gotta compete with you . . . [color=#4b0082] [color=#4b0082]you can't do a thing about your sil. all you can control is yourself and how you react to her needling, intrusiveness and competition. just tell yourself that you're pretty terrific and she's obviously a bit envious. and then ignore the comments. you can't change her, anyway. [color=#4b0082] [color=#4b0082]good luck with school -- i'm sure you'll do fine!
mojopsych 53 Posts Specializes in Psychiatric & Critical Care. Has 5 years experience. May 27, 2005 Here's my story.... : My sister-in-law and I are both going to school for nursing, different schools. She will enter the program Fall 05 but I won't until Fall 2006 because I had to take a year off. The problem is that my in-laws are constantly telling people how wonderful it is that she is going to school to be a nurse but then act as if I am crazy for going back to school for nursing. My m-i-l and s-i-l are constantly talking about/asking me what grades I'm getting in my classes (GPA 3.5) although I don't always tell them and if I say I'm going out with friends or my husband or I have to take my son to the doctor or something (he's 5 months old) they are always telling me how I should be studying or do I really need to go out when I've already spent all of our money on school. :angryfire I don't know why they think I'm going to be a bad nurse because I've had many other people tell me that I will make a wonderful nurse, but I'm sick of my s-i-l always being in competition with me for no reason. I'M GOING TO SCHOOL BECAUSE I WANT TO BE A NURSE, not to do better than her!!! Any advice on how can I end this petty competition that I didn't start in the first place??I doubt that their opposition has anything to do with you wanting to be a nurse. This is just sometimes the nature of the beast with in-laws, nothing is ever good enough. Maybe they think you'll show up their daughter and do better than she will. My in-laws are the same way, for the most part they mean well but they are overly critical and have a personal opinion on everything that I do. Don't worry once your kid is older they'll criticize you on what type of mother you are instead of what type of nurse you are. I have just learned to suck it up and totally ignore them, this bothers them much more than if I try to defend myself, which only leads them to believe that I want or need their approval. Lately, the comments have been few and far between since they realize they don't bother me anymore. It's not a big deal as long as you stay confident and know that you're a good mother and nurse.
hangnon 70 Posts May 27, 2005 Here's my story.... : My sister-in-law and I are both going to school for nursing, different schools. She will enter the program Fall 05 but I won't until Fall 2006 because I had to take a year off. The problem is that my in-laws are constantly telling people how wonderful it is that she is going to school to be a nurse but then act as if I am crazy for going back to school for nursing. My m-i-l and s-i-l are constantly talking about/asking me what grades I'm getting in my classes (GPA 3.5) although I don't always tell them and if I say I'm going out with friends or my husband or I have to take my son to the doctor or something (he's 5 months old) they are always telling me how I should be studying or do I really need to go out when I've already spent all of our money on school. :angryfire I don't know why they think I'm going to be a bad nurse because I've had many other people tell me that I will make a wonderful nurse, but I'm sick of my s-i-l always being in competition with me for no reason. I'M GOING TO SCHOOL BECAUSE I WANT TO BE A NURSE, not to do better than her!!! Any advice on how can I end this petty competition that I didn't start in the first place??I suggest telling your mil and sil that you'd really appreciate their support and that your study time, schedule, money and grades are NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS! Jeesh! I got angry just reading this! :angryfire Don't let them bring you down. Sounds like they both feel threatened by you and their is some jealousy coming from them. People who need to constantly stroke their own ego like they way they are, do it aother people's expense and it sounds like mainly yours. Ignore them, you need positive people surrounding you while in nursing school....it's hard enough as it is! Good luck to you. :)
JenMarie82 66 Posts May 27, 2005 this is just sometimes the nature of the beast with in-laws, nothing is ever good enough. maybe they think you'll show up their daughter and do better than she will.it's my husband's brother's wife.... not their own daughter.
Tweety, BSN, RN 32,993 Posts Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac. Has 31 years experience. May 27, 2005 Basically what you just said is perfectly appropriate to tell them next time they ask about your grades or rib you for living a life outside of school........"I'M GOING TO SCHOOL BECAUSE I WANT TO BE A NURSE, not to do better than her!!! "
hollyster 355 Posts May 27, 2005 Basically what you just said is perfectly appropriate to tell them next time they ask about your grades or rib you for living a life outside of school........"I'M GOING TO SCHOOL BECAUSE I WANT TO BE A NURSE, not to do better than her!!! "Exactly, you are going to get an education not to compete with them(sounds like mom is trying live through the daughter.)Remember living well is the best revenge. Take care of yourself and do not not let them dissuade you,Best of luck.
shukry 41 Posts May 27, 2005 Exactly, you are going to get an education not to compete with them(sounds like mom is trying live through the daughter.)Remember living well is the best revenge. Take care of yourself and do not not let them dissuade you,Best of luck.Focus on yourself, your school and your family. Being a student and managing a family is hard enough don't let them get your time and brain space. They will continue if you give them the chance. Mind your business. I had in-laws probs when I just got married - and I didn't give them the chance. Now I am happily married for 13yrs. They don't bother me anymore, because I don't know what they say/do. Good luck!
