Unsupportive fiance'

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My fiancé and I have been arguing for the last few days about wether I should get my ADN or BSN. I want to get my BSN obviously, and I got accepted to the program of my choice. I also got accepted to an ADN program. He argues that I should choose the ADN program because its closer, cheaper, and faster. The cc is about 20 minutes away vs my school of choice which is an hr away. I live in the Houston area and most hospitals require a BSN, and besides that I just want my BSN. I will be the only person in my family with a degree and I will just feel more accomplished. My fiancé is only worried about how long it is going to take me, nothing more. He doesn't understand that hospitals prefer BSNs even though I've told him, and even showed him articles, post on here, etc. he just says "well why would they have a nursing program that you won't be able to get a job from?" And things like that. Any advice on how to convince him my BSN is a better route? Or am I being unrealistic by driving and hr to a more expensive school? Any thoughts will be appreciated!

Thanks!!!

Specializes in inerested in school nursing, peds, OR.
I agree with your fiancé. The RN-BSN programs can be done online and the ADN gets you through quicker; the BSN after RN still gets you a bachelors.

I see your point, and his, but my school has a lot of online classes anyways. Idk, I'm sure either choice would work out fine, I just was so excited to get accepted to my BSN program, and had already made up my mind about it. When I told him, he just kind of busted my bubble. He could be right about the financial part though. Maybe I'm being silly about it. Maybe he is right.

Thanks for your reply!

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Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

I hate to interject any negativity here - but here goes . . .

It's wonderful that you have a loving relationship & are planning on being married. However, statistically, there is a very good chance that you will eventually end up needing to support yourself. No one can predict the future, and you need to be realistic. The resentment you would harbor (if you went with his preference for ADN) could also undermine your relationship in the long run. The BSN will pay off in a very short time with job opportunities and career advancement.

A compromise is undoubtedly the way to go. Since it is your decision, it is only fair that you should make funding arrangements for school that do not involve any contribution (or future obligations) from your fiance. It would be very unfair/disrespectful to expect him to help pay for something that he "doesn't want".

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Specializes in inerested in school nursing, peds, OR.

Oh he won't have any future obligations. My parents and I are taking care of that.

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Specializes in Cardiology, Cardiothoracic Surgical.

Oh, well if he's not paying for it, then I don't really see what the big deal is in the decision-making process.

BSN it is.

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Specializes in inerested in school nursing, peds, OR.

Well just because he's not paying for it doesn't it mean it won't affect him financially, but yeah your right, he's not paying for it so I guess it's not his decision at all.

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I had the same struggle as you deciding between ADN or BSN. BSN was my dream, but financially ADN would have to be a stepping stone. And my husband did have alot to do with that decision. In fact, I wasted two years of my life just trying to get the pre-reqs done just because we couldn't afford for me to quit working so much! I have seen younger cousins of mine finish their BSN in the time it has taken me to get here and I wish, wish, wish that I could turn back time, buckle down, and go for my dream. It's just a temporary sacrifice for such a big payoff and I wish my husband would have been willing to do whatever it took to help me reach my dreams. In NO WAY am I comparing my life to yours, only you and your husband can make such an important decision together. This is just my point of view. Good luck with whichever you choose! P.S. (My husband and I are currently getting divorced...for many reasons, but not being high on his list of priorities was a big one!!) Ok, non-relevant rant over :)

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Specializes in inerested in school nursing, peds, OR.
I had the same struggle as you deciding between ADN or BSN. BSN was my dream, but financially ADN would have to be a stepping stone. And my husband did have alot to do with that decision. In fact, I wasted two years of my life just trying to get the pre-reqs done just because we couldn't afford for me to quit working so much! I have seen younger cousins of mine finish their BSN in the time it has taken me to get here and I wish, wish, wish that I could turn back time, buckle down, and go for my dream. It's just a temporary sacrifice for such a big payoff and I wish my husband would have been willing to do whatever it took to help me reach my dreams. In NO WAY am I comparing my life to yours, only you and your husband can make such an important decision together. This is just my point of view. Good luck with whichever you choose! P.S. (My husband and I are currently getting divorced...for many reasons, but not being high on his list of priorities was a big one!!) Ok, non-relevant rant over :)

Thank you for your reply! I have decided to pursue my BSN, and he is supporting my decision after discussion after discussion. I am so very sorry to hear about your divorce. I wish you luck in your career, happy new year.

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