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Unsupportive fiance'

Texas   (2,035 Views 19 Comments)
by Kdrenee Kdrenee (New Member) New Member

Kdrenee has 1/2 years experience and works as a PCA.

8,299 Visitors; 401 Posts

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My fiancé and I have been arguing for the last few days about wether I should get my ADN or BSN. I want to get my BSN obviously, and I got accepted to the program of my choice. I also got accepted to an ADN program. He argues that I should choose the ADN program because its closer, cheaper, and faster. The cc is about 20 minutes away vs my school of choice which is an hr away. I live in the Houston area and most hospitals require a BSN, and besides that I just want my BSN. I will be the only person in my family with a degree and I will just feel more accomplished. My fiancé is only worried about how long it is going to take me, nothing more. He doesn't understand that hospitals prefer BSNs even though I've told him, and even showed him articles, post on here, etc. he just says "well why would they have a nursing program that you won't be able to get a job from?" And things like that. Any advice on how to convince him my BSN is a better route? Or am I being unrealistic by driving and hr to a more expensive school? Any thoughts will be appreciated!

Thanks!!!

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Kdrenee has 1/2 years experience and works as a PCA.

8,299 Visitors; 401 Posts

Unsupportive oops

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1,289 Visitors; 31 Posts

I would try to explain that having the Bsn is not absolutely necessary at this time, but in the future it will most likely be. So you can get it all done now, so you can start your post nursing school life sooner opposed to way later. Also, tell him how important it is to you, and that you would feel you were selling yourself short going with the adn route.

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Wrench Party has 3 years experience.

12,961 Visitors; 823 Posts

Being super practical, I would sit down and compute the cost of the two programs and compare them. Include cost

of tuition and fees, books, gas, car maintenance, insurance, etc. If you work, compute the lost wages going through

both programs.

After I did this, I decided it was actually more cost effective for me to enter a BSN program at the local state university

than at the local community college, as far as time. That, and I already have a Bachelor's in another field, and wasn't

impressed with having to go back again to school after the ADN.

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SNB1014 has 4 years experience.

10,558 Visitors; 287 Posts

I just graduated from alvin and we have a partnership with utmb that you can start their BSN classes in your second year ,sorta like a trade for I believe management and ethics. And you can get a job with a adn but it wont be in the med center. Many friends of mine work for the satellite campuses of memorial hermann, fyi

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Kdrenee has 1/2 years experience and works as a PCA.

8,299 Visitors; 401 Posts

Thanks everyone!! It's just so annoying, he won't listen at all! I will try your suggestions!

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kathylorr has 5 years experience and works as a semi retired.

2,239 Visitors; 30 Posts

I think you should be concerned about your fiance's lack of support with your dreams. Why is he so eager for you to get a job as soon as possible-financial necessity or fear of losing control if you are farther away?

Kathy

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llg has 40 years experience as a PhD, RN and works as a Nursing Professional Development + Academic Facult.

5 Followers; 57,676 Visitors; 12,992 Posts

I think you should be concerned about your fiance's lack of support with your dreams. Why is he so eager for you to get a job as soon as possible-financial necessity or fear of losing control if you are farther away?

Kathy

Is he going to be this unsupportive of you after you are married? Should you be marrying a guy who won't listen to you?

I'm not saying that you should definitely NOT marry him ... but these are things to think about. As you go to school and have a professional career, you may grow apart. It doesn't sound as if he is going to react well to your increased education and earning power. I have known couples that split apart as the wife rises in her career and the husband doesn't. Is his unsupportive attitude a preview of trouble to come?

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Kdrenee has 1/2 years experience and works as a PCA.

8,299 Visitors; 401 Posts

No guys it's not like that at all! We are just in a rough spot financially and he doesn't want my school to make it worse if it doesn't have to. He 100% supports my decision to become a nurse and get an education. We're just also trying to buy a house, pay for a wedding, and also his mother just had a stroke so we've been dealing with that as well. I guess I should've worded it differently. He is a good fiancé and will be a good husband. He just knows there RN-BSN programs and other options. I'm just not wanting to wait for my BSN bc I don't want to be stuck without a job, and I just want my BSN. Also, were trying to pay for it out of pocket as much as possible. I've got a few scholorships and in still applying for more. We're just looking at the situation differently. He's worried about now, and I'm worried about the futures guess. :/

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316 Visitors; 1 Post

3.5 years with prerequisites for ADN or 4 years for BSN: the choice is clear! I am getting an ADN and regret I didn't start BSN instead. Will continue to work on BSN.

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5,156 Visitors; 190 Posts

I agree with your fiancé. The RN-BSN programs can be done online and the ADN gets you through quicker; the BSN after RN still gets you a bachelors.

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Kdrenee has 1/2 years experience and works as a PCA.

8,299 Visitors; 401 Posts

3.5 years with prerequisites for ADN or 4 years for BSN: the choice is clear! I am getting an ADN and regret I didn't start BSN instead. Will continue to work on BSN.

Yea that's how I'm looking at it. Same amount of time basically.

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