Some of the patterns I can think of in types of people that irk me at work:
CO-WORKERS
Houdini – “code brown?” Hides in nearest cubby, preferably with a locking door.
The absent MD – “yeah, whatever you think. Can you put that in as a telephone order?” gets paid five times your salary while you do their job.
The cell phone addict – half day working, half day texting (also tends to be a Houdini)
The old-school MD – wants to order Tylenol in grains. grumbling about how it used to be, pecking away at the keyboard with index fingers, eyes shooting from monitor to keyboard. they will get it done… eventually
The phone snarler –$150k in student loans for a job they hate. Capitalizes on elitism. You, random person on the phone, are their prey.
The benefit milker – need I say more?
The over-glorified RN – delusional “everyone here is stupid… except me.” Spends less time actually working and more time trying to find a problem with other peoples work. finds the most condescending way to point out an error.
The work dumper – Feels entitled with their seniority. Takes advantage of the passive orientees while they flip through catalogues and watch TV, hoping this new slave doesn't develop a spine.
The futile administrator – “here’s my solution," E for effort
The over-stepping CNA – wants all of the glory, possesses none of the qualifications. Tries to delegate to RNs, has been “working on my nursing degree” for a decade.
The drama queen/king – oblivious to the fact that you’ve got work to do. Tends to catch you while you have no escape route. Can’t understand why you wouldn’t want to stick around and hear about their juicy little nugget
PATIENTS:
The med seeker – always nauseated, always in pain 10/10, loves their IV drug cocktail.
The bum – saying the s-word in the ED earns them 2 weeks of hot meals and warm bed. $1000/night on the backs of tax-payers.
The puppetmaster – Hitting the call button like its Jeopardy! And they’ve got the answer every 5 minutes.
add more if you can think of them. I'm sure there are some I left out.
