I need some advice and help. I'm a 30 year old single male starting my transition to MTF transsexual. I was accepted to a BSN program and start my clinicals in Fall '09. And might have a problem when it comes time for me to start living full time as a female. The problem with my school is that it is a private Christian school. I chose this particular school because it has one of the best nursing programs in the city. And I am transitioning while still in school because i've been informed that universities and colleges will not change names on students records AFTER you have finished a program regardless of a legal name change. It must be changed while you are in college or before graduation.
I'm not sure of how the school will deal with me transitioning. I've been told by nurses I work with who are former students of the same college that I won't be put out explicitly or overtly for being transgender, but they will do their best to ride me out of the program.
What should I do? I can't put off my transition because there are set times and accomplishments you are supposed to keep in order to transition properly. My job is not a problem, they will allow me to transition on the job.
This is somewhat similar to a situation I witnessed in nursing school. I went to an EXTREMELY conservative school in the bible belt (we still wore nursing dresses and caps! I just graduated! In 2008!)
Our instructor shared her family situation with us about her son becoming a transgender woman and was living out the "dressing the part with no surgeries, just some hormones" part of the change. She was open to sharing this with us, but I am ashamed to say SOME of my classmates raised their hand and said evil, heartless things "in the name of GOD" to our INSTRUCTOR. The person who could prevent them from becoming nurses! THey were cruel, and made fun of her and her child. She was telling us to hopefully teach us to be compassionate to patients regardless of who they were, but it ended up being awful. Good thing she was a psych instructor and had a strong grasp on mental strength.
The point I am getting at is you will have so many hardships in nursing school just because it is nursing school. Unfortunately, religious people have a reputation for frequently being the most hateful "in the name of GOD" --please, not all, I know--and you will be treated poorly by instructors, your classmates, and the people at your clinical experiences. It may be next to impossible to finish in that type of environment. I am assuming nursing is a dream of yours, and I suggest going to a different nursing school to better realize your dream--to fruition. My mother is also a nurse and she told me you learn a lot in nursing school, but you learn to be a nurse in your first year as a working nurse. So don't focus so much on the school. Good luck to you and please stay strong.
Unless you are already accepted into the actual Nursing program at Memphis, and have IN WRITING you will have a spot in their program, don't leave Baptist. Especially if your grades are down. The Competition for spots is very high and getting worse every semester, and because of the type of program Baptist is, it was easier to enter. If you have to finish pre-req's then apply to LSN program. Don't take the chance. You are already in a nursing program, and have a clinical spot.
I understand where you are coming from, but I also have to be realistic about the type of atmosphere I go to school in. And the philosophy espoused at Baptist. I know it's very competitive to get into ANY nursing school. My prereq's are done. I'm almost completely done with general education at Baptist and yes my clinical spot is guaranteed. I'm intelligent enough that most of the gen ed isn't even a problem, but I have too much stuff drawing my focus away from school. I might stay at Baptist, but that's not definite. Would you deny who you were, as i've done for far too many years to please others?
The entire point and question of this thread is: Will I still be allowed to transition and attend NS? Or will I be ostracized(sp?) and forced out indirectly?
It's my belief that many of the student body will be understanding, but that there will be a problem with faculty.
The problem is, that wherever you go there is a real chance that you may suffer some prejudice. I'm not saying you should deny who you are for anyone. I will say, that you are more than just trans-gender. If that is the only means by which you define yourself, then it is the only means by which others will as well. You are also intelligent, driven, caring, talented, and I imagine have a wonderful since of humor. There are poopie people everywhere, but don't sell everyone short. Let them get to know who you are from every aspect, not just your "gender" or what you choose to end up looking like. Show them what a fabulous person you are and what a fabulous Nurse you will be. All I am saying about the school change is that if you REALLY dream to be a nurse then wait until you are accepted at Memphis to leave baptist. You can finish all your pre-req's at baptist and wait for the letter from Memphis. You can even transfer to another nursing program after you have started clinicals. I just don't want you to pass up being a nurse due to bad timing and a growing competitive field, and it is a REAL possibility. I know from personal experience. You don't want to compound your emotional challenges with the thought that you have passed up your dream career if nursing is really it. With your perception and life experience you would be a prime candidate to accept your patients for who they are, and to give them the best care and the understanding they need.
I also have to be realistic about the type of atmosphere I go to school in. And the philosophy espoused at Baptist.
It's my belief that many of the student body will be understanding, but that there will be a problem with faculty.
I hope you aren't forgetting that the morals and ideals of Baptist are common throughout this country and that your treatment could be just the same anywhere else.
And what makes you think you have to deny who you are? Be yourself, a transgender MTF...Although you don't need to share it with anyone, I don't walk around telling people I am a woman.
"If it looks, walks and talks like a duck, it's a duck" right? I hope I am not being too naive. I know it is all easier said then done for those of us not living your life.
This thread really saddens me honestly... I go to a private Christian nursing school, and am a Christian myself... and saddens me that, unfortunately, you probably WOULD face a lot of static from admin, etc. I wish that you could be able to go to the school of your choice without having to fear being discriminated against. I'd truly be honored to have a brave person like you to go to school with! I wish you the best of luck!!! Definitely keep us posted!
I will say, that you are more than just trans-gender. If that is the only means by which you define yourself, then it is the only means by which others will as well.
Yes, I am more than Transgender and I DO NOT see that as what defines who and what I am. Unlike many people, I do not see sexual orientation as a way to define one's existence. But to other's, that is what will define who and what I am. I will pull my grades up this upcoming trimester and triumph over most of the adversity in my life right now.
I'm not the type to advertise what I am, but this is a big part of my life and I was seeking some input and suggestions from like minded people. I do accept people as they are now and am not judgemental. I have no room to judge, for other's judge me on a daily basis. Nursing is what I want to do, and i'm going to stick with my dream. I'm not giving up just yet. I might have been knocked down, but i'm not defeated.
But to other's, that is what will define who and what I am. I will pull my grades up this upcoming trimester and triumph over most of the adversity in my life right now.
I'm not giving up just yet. I might have been knocked down, but i'm not defeated.
Nor do I think for a moment that you will be defeated! This is a change that occurs over time. Some of the changes will be more overt than others. Most people are so caught up in themselves they may not even notice for a time. Have you received any misgivings from the school so far? The thing is, that this is none of their business. If your have concerns and haven't acted on them think of meeting with the Dean of Nursing and feel her out. Tell her that while you are in school you will be having some medical procedures done that may affect your appearance, but will otherwise not affect your attendance or your school work. Ask her if she thinks this will be a problem. IF she delves further then tell her that it is rather a personal matter and you aren't comfortable going into further detail at this time. If you are seriously thinking of leaving the school over this, then exhaust all your avenues first. I keep hearing about all these people with great grade points who are now having trouble getting into schools because the competition has tripled in the last year. I am just terrified that if you leave before you have been accepted somewhere else you may regret it. I know your nursing program and scholastically you will get whatever you need. The previous counselor has left (smile) I haven't met the new one, but you might try a meeting with her just to visit about the other aspects you say are a challenge right now and feel out if she might be open to discussing this. All in all no matter what you choose I wish you the best!!
I'm not the type to advertise what I am, but this is a big part of my life and I was seeking some input and suggestions from like minded people.
I know this is a big part of your life and something you are proud of, but you already know that not everyone will be supportive of you. IMO You're probably safer just keeping things to yourself while in nursing school. It doesn't have to be a secret but it also doesn't have to be advertised in a place where it isn't welcome. I really don't think it is good for anybody to draw too much attention to themselves no matter what their situation is. I have heard there are many backstabbers in nursing school and if that is something I have to watch out for, then you should definitely have a low-key mind set. You don't want a target on your back. Like I said before judgmental people are everywhere not just @ Baptist and whose to say some jerk at another school wouldn't find a way to push you out because of "differences".
Nor do I think for a moment that you will be defeated! This is a change that occurs over time. Some of the changes will be more overt than others. Most people are so caught up in themselves they may not even notice for a time. Have you received any misgivings from the school so far? The thing is, that this is none of their business. If your have concerns and haven't acted on them think of meeting with the Dean of Nursing and feel her out. Tell her that while you are in school you will be having some medical procedures done that may affect your appearance, but will otherwise not affect your attendance or your school work. Ask her if she thinks this will be a problem. IF she delves further then tell her that it is rather a personal matter and you aren't comfortable going into further detail at this time. If you are seriously thinking of leaving the school over this, then exhaust all your avenues first. I keep hearing about all these people with great grade points who are now having trouble getting into schools because the competition has tripled in the last year. I am just terrified that if you leave before you have been accepted somewhere else you may regret it. I know your nursing program and scholastically you will get whatever you need. The previous counselor has left (smile) I haven't met the new one, but you might try a meeting with her just to visit about the other aspects you say are a challenge right now and feel out if she might be open to discussing this. All in all no matter what you choose I wish you the best!!
Most of what you have said, i've already given thoughts to. Which goes to show...great minds do think alike! I need to find out who the new counselor is so that I can feel him/her out as you suggested, which again, i'd already decided to do. I also plan on feeling out the Dean of Nursing to ascertain her evaluation of the situation. I'm not leaving Baptist yet. I might just change my name to some neutral ambiguous name and not change the gender on my records until after graduation.
Punkin, you are going through two very major life changes at once. You are very brave. Bless your little heart. You were accepted into the nursing program based on your acedemic performance, not your sex. I only hope that this particular program will not let your surgery affect your standing.
Unfortunately we live in a world of bigots, especially in the religous sect. That is of concern to me. I would check the student handbook (for the college as a whole and the nursing dept. in particular); I am sure, being a religous school, there are morals clauses (not that your surgery is immoral). Most religous institutions do not agree with homosexuality they believe it to be immoral, which is total B.S. You need to know where you stand. If there is no info in the handbook I would seek legal advice. If there are no morals clauses they cannot kick you out of the program based on your sex or sexual preference!!!! BE PERSISTANT, you may be opening doors for others
I am sure these are not things you are entering into lightly and you have given plenty of thought how one is going to affect the other. You will do just fine. Good luck and keep us updated.
I wish that you could be able to go to the school of your choice without having to fear being discriminated against. I'd truly be honored to have a brave person like you to go to school with! I wish you the best of luck!!! Definitely keep us posted!
I need to find out who the new counselor is so that I can feel him/her out as you suggested, which again, i'd already decided to do. I also plan on feeling out the Dean of Nursing to ascertain her evaluation of the situation. I'm not leaving Baptist yet. I might just change my name to some neutral ambiguous name and not change the gender on my records until after graduation.
PetuniaRN
59 Posts
This is somewhat similar to a situation I witnessed in nursing school. I went to an EXTREMELY conservative school in the bible belt (we still wore nursing dresses and caps! I just graduated! In 2008!)
Our instructor shared her family situation with us about her son becoming a transgender woman and was living out the "dressing the part with no surgeries, just some hormones" part of the change. She was open to sharing this with us, but I am ashamed to say SOME of my classmates raised their hand and said evil, heartless things "in the name of GOD" to our INSTRUCTOR. The person who could prevent them from becoming nurses! THey were cruel, and made fun of her and her child. She was telling us to hopefully teach us to be compassionate to patients regardless of who they were, but it ended up being awful. Good thing she was a psych instructor and had a strong grasp on mental strength.
The point I am getting at is you will have so many hardships in nursing school just because it is nursing school. Unfortunately, religious people have a reputation for frequently being the most hateful "in the name of GOD" --please, not all, I know--and you will be treated poorly by instructors, your classmates, and the people at your clinical experiences. It may be next to impossible to finish in that type of environment. I am assuming nursing is a dream of yours, and I suggest going to a different nursing school to better realize your dream--to fruition. My mother is also a nurse and she told me you learn a lot in nursing school, but you learn to be a nurse in your first year as a working nurse. So don't focus so much on the school. Good luck to you and please stay strong.