I need some advice and help. I'm a 30 year old single male starting my transition to MTF transsexual. I was accepted to a BSN program and start my clinicals in Fall '09. And might have a problem when it comes time for me to start living full time as a female. The problem with my school is that it is a private Christian school. I chose this particular school because it has one of the best nursing programs in the city. And I am transitioning while still in school because i've been informed that universities and colleges will not change names on students records AFTER you have finished a program regardless of a legal name change. It must be changed while you are in college or before graduation.
I'm not sure of how the school will deal with me transitioning. I've been told by nurses I work with who are former students of the same college that I won't be put out explicitly or overtly for being transgender, but they will do their best to ride me out of the program.
What should I do? I can't put off my transition because there are set times and accomplishments you are supposed to keep in order to transition properly. My job is not a problem, they will allow me to transition on the job.
This thread really saddens me honestly... I go to a private Christian nursing school, and am a Christian myself... and saddens me that, unfortunately, you probably WOULD face a lot of static from admin, etc. I wish that you could be able to go to the school of your choice without having to fear being discriminated against. I'd truly be honored to have a brave person like you to go to school with! I wish you the best of luck!!! Definitely keep us posted!
If I may jump in here . . . . I am a Christian too and depending on the university, I don't necessarily think you would face a lot of static. People are assuming this university is going to give you a difficult time with no proof.
Society in general has bigots . . . they aren't limited to Christians. In fact, most of the folks I know are not bigots. Seems like society is very judgmental towards Christians - which I don't think is fair.
My oldest son attended a private Christian university in So. Cal that has one of the highest rated nursing schools. I know there were gay and lesbian students on campus. My son said there wasn't any outward negativity that he could see. I don't know if there were any transgendered students. His school welcomed a bus load of gay and lesbian students who drive to Christian colleges in the summer to protest - they were welcomed with a large group of kids inviting them to an Easter breakfast, they gave them rooms on campus to sleep, they washed the bus.
I think you should go with the school that you really want to attend.
Give them a chance.
My initial thought at the beginning of this thread was why don't you wait until after school to do the transition? I'm not completely familiar with the process though. Seems like you are started with the hormonal part - are you living as a female or male? If you've started and are living as the sex you've chosen, just go with that.
Focus on school and don't get caught up in the politics of it.
I am a Christian and a Catholic and my faith teaches me to be an understanding, non judgmental person who would not discriminate against anyone just because I did not agree with them. I have a few good friends who I do not agree with at all about many things -but I still think they are great people who I care about greatly. Have some faith- maybe those Christians will surprise you and turn out to be the most compassionate understanding people you have ever worked with. It could happen. :redbeathe Good Luck.
If I may jump in here . . . . I am a Christian too and depending on the university, I don't necessarily think you would face a lot of static. People are assuming this university is going to give you a difficult time with no proof.
Society in general has bigots . . . they aren't limited to Christians. In fact, most of the folks I know are not bigots. Seems like society is very judgmental towards Christians - which I don't think is fair.
My oldest son attended a private Christian university in So. Cal that has one of the highest rated nursing schools. I know there were gay and lesbian students on campus. My son said there wasn't any outward negativity that he could see. I don't know if there were any transgendered students. His school welcomed a bus load of gay and lesbian students who drive to Christian colleges in the summer to protest - they were welcomed with a large group of kids inviting them to an Easter breakfast, they gave them rooms on campus to sleep, they washed the bus.
I think you should go with the school that you really want to attend.
Give them a chance.
My initial thought at the beginning of this thread was why don't you wait until after school to do the transition? I'm not completely familiar with the process though. Seems like you are started with the hormonal part - are you living as a female or male? If you've started and are living as the sex you've chosen, just go with that.
Focus on school and don't get caught up in the politics of it.
I wish you the best.
steph
I never said that the school WOULD put me out, but there is the potential for negativity and adverse reactions. On the whole, I don't really think there would be a negative reaction.
As far as downing Christians, that is not in me. Eventhough I've had too many bad experiences with Christians as a whole, I don't see that as the entire spectrum of Christian behavior. You have people of all races, cultures, religions and genders who's behavior is bad. It's not the population that's at fault, but the individual. But they have made me leery of the Christian faith, which has in turn made me lose faith.
I listened to ignorance from Christians at work yesterday. My boss was saying that Ellen Degeneras(sp?) was not a role model for today's youth, being that she was not "moral". I asked why wasn't she a role model...he stated "God created Adam and Eve....not Adam and Archie". Then another coworker said she was off her game because of something else Ellen did. And I asked her what it was. I think it was about gay marriage. She went on to expound about "The Word" and abomination. I just looked at her and went back into my office.
So, it's not Chrisitans as a whole that are not accepting, it's the individual. I'm mature enough to know this. Eventhough I don't claim to be a Christian, I do have faith in Him. I've lost it along the way, and found it again in the last few years. I'm trying to develop a deeper understanding and relationship with Him.
I never said that the school WOULD put me out, but there is the potential for negativity and adverse reactions. On the whole, I don't really think there would be a negative reaction.
As far as downing Christians, that is not in me. Eventhough I've had too many bad experiences with Christians as a whole, I don't see that as the entire spectrum of Christian behavior. You have people of all races, cultures, religions and genders who's behavior is bad. It's not the population that's at fault, but the individual. But they have made me leery of the Christian faith, which has in turn made me lose faith.
I listened to ignorance from Christians at work yesterday. My boss was saying that Ellen Degeneras(sp?) was not a role model for today's youth, being that she was not "moral". I asked why wasn't she a role model...he stated "God created Adam and Eve....not Adam and Archie". Then another coworker said she was off her game because of something else Ellen did. And I asked her what it was. I think it was about gay marriage. She went on to expound about "The Word" and abomination. I just looked at her and went back into my office.
So, it's not Chrisitans as a whole that are not accepting, it's the individual. I'm mature enough to know this. Eventhough I don't claim to be a Christian, I do have faith in Him. I've lost it along the way, and found it again in the last few years. I'm trying to develop a deeper understanding and relationship with Him.
I am sorry about the individuals who do this. And I'm glad you say you are "mature" enough to differentiate this from God. Sometimes God's people are not mature or loving . . . . that "free will" gift He gave us sometimes isn't pretty.
Our pastor has been preaching this summer on 6 things that other people say about us when we are not in the room. One is what you experienced yesterday. (He went onto the internet and blogs and chatted with folks for about a week to get reactions to what people think of Christians).
I wish you the best in your journey and pray that you do develop a deeper relationship with God.
I am sorry about the individuals who do this. And I'm glad you say you are "mature" enough to differentiate this from God. Sometimes God's people are not mature or loving . . . . that "free will" gift He gave us sometimes isn't pretty.
Our pastor has been preaching this summer on 6 things that other people say about us when we are not in the room. One is what you experienced yesterday. (He went onto the internet and blogs and chatted with folks for about a week to get reactions to what people think of Christians).
I wish you the best in your journey and pray that you do develop a deeper relationship with God.
steph
Well, I hope that I develop a better relationship with God as well. I'll surely need His help to complete nursing school. Sounds like your pastor is quite a guy. From what i've seen...people don't really have a good opinion of Christians in general.
My boss is a very conservative type, eventhough he says he isn't. His take on the war in Iraq was to go over into someone else's country and kill everything moving, because in his words "Moo-slims are crazy":eek:
I just thought of another possible resource for you if the school counselor doesn't work out--your psych instructor! I utilized the heck out of mine. I knew she was open minded and would honor my confidentiality, and best of all (unlike 95% of the instructors) she never said cliche, trite things. She also never brought up faith or religion since I wasn't there for that. Often, she listened really well and helped me brainstorm ideas to fix my own issues. So, keep that in mind. Please keep us posted. I care, and I hope your school proves my pessimistic mind WRONG.
it's a wonderful thing that you've turned to god. you will not only need him to complete nursing school but life period. i can only imagine some of the crap you go through and i know it's extremely difficult. christians can be some of the most rude, sarcastic, and hypocritical people you would ever meet but it's not everybody. the greatest commandment is to love the lord with everything that you have and love your neighbor as yourself. unfortunately a lot of us don't do this and its impossible to do this without the love of god. continue to pray, keep the faith. god made everyone of us and he is the only one that can judge us and i thank him for our intercessor, jesus christ. this nursing journey is going to be great for you and hey maybe i might just meet you in the halls or something!! "be ye encouraged"!!
it's a wonderful thing that you've turned to god. you will not only need him to complete nursing school but life period. i can only imagine some of the crap you go through and i know it's extremely difficult. christians can be some of the most rude, sarcastic, and hypocritical people you would ever meet but it's not everybody. the greatest commandment is to love the lord with everything that you have and love your neighbor as yourself. unfortunately a lot of us don't do this and its impossible to do this without the love of god. continue to pray, keep the faith. god made everyone of us and he is the only one that can judge us and i thank him for our intercessor, jesus christ. this nursing journey is going to be great for you and hey maybe i might just meet you in the halls or something!! "be ye encouraged"!!
i would like that. for the most part, most of the baptist students that have viewed this thread have had positive reactions. i don't really think it will cause that much of a stink, but i am going to weigh all my options.
as another adviced, i will speak with my psych prof and get his assessment of this. and talk to the counselor as well. my job has already said it will allow me to transition. i'm getting ready for another talk with the hr department.
My job has already said it will allow me to transition. I'm getting ready for another talk with the HR department.
Get it in writing. Currently Gender Identity Issues are not protected by the government. Make them give you their permission in writing so they can not change their minds.
Get it in writing. Currently Gender Identity Issues are not protected by the government. Make them give you their permission in writing so they can not change their minds.
Oh they can't really change their minds, they allowed another Transgendered individual to transition on the job with no problems. They themselves have opened the door and set a precedence they can't easily overturn. I've spoken with the Employee Relations department as well as the VP of Human Resources. There is nothing they can do to take it back. But you are correct, I need to get it in writing when the time comes for me to go full time.
well, after reading all the replies in this thread, first off, congratulations and brava!
secondly, i agree that changing your name (gender-neutral not such a bad idea....though i knew a guy named lynn! born guy, named that way by his hetero parents hahaha) BEFORE school and demurely going to school as a woman forces people to just quietly and politely take you for you......
as for legally transitioning from male to female, wait until after school......it's a process, and you want to focus on being an excellent nurse!!!
the school, as a catholic private institution, can kick you out for perceived "immorality".....my sister worked as a nurse at a catholic hospital that made her sign a sworn statement that she believed in god, just to work there! weird.....but legal. so either talk to everyone you can to get there approval first, or talk to no one, show up as terry or lynn or shannon or whatever, and give the best damned patient care and student performance you can, and never bat an eyelash about it!
well, after reading all the replies in this thread, first off, congratulations and brava!
secondly, i agree that changing your name (gender-neutral not such a bad idea....though i knew a guy named lynn! born guy, named that way by his hetero parents hahaha) BEFORE school and demurely going to school as a woman forces people to just quietly and politely take you for you......
as for legally transitioning from male to female, wait until after school......it's a process, and you want to focus on being an excellent nurse!!!
the school, as a catholic private institution, can kick you out for perceived "immorality".....my sister worked as a nurse at a catholic hospital that made her sign a sworn statement that she believed in god, just to work there! weird.....but legal. so either talk to everyone you can to get there approval first, or talk to no one, show up as terry or lynn or shannon or whatever, and give the best damned patient care and student performance you can, and never bat an eyelash about it!
good luck and god/dess bless you!
Oh I believe in God, just not as strongly as I used to. Things along the way have kind of soured me on the whole concept of Christianity.
I'm still trying to work out what I plan to do in the next year and the time before I start clinicals. I look forward to starting clinicals more than i've anticipated anything in a long time.
Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN
11,305 Posts
If I may jump in here . . . . I am a Christian too and depending on the university, I don't necessarily think you would face a lot of static. People are assuming this university is going to give you a difficult time with no proof.
Society in general has bigots . . . they aren't limited to Christians. In fact, most of the folks I know are not bigots. Seems like society is very judgmental towards Christians - which I don't think is fair.
My oldest son attended a private Christian university in So. Cal that has one of the highest rated nursing schools. I know there were gay and lesbian students on campus. My son said there wasn't any outward negativity that he could see. I don't know if there were any transgendered students. His school welcomed a bus load of gay and lesbian students who drive to Christian colleges in the summer to protest - they were welcomed with a large group of kids inviting them to an Easter breakfast, they gave them rooms on campus to sleep, they washed the bus.
I think you should go with the school that you really want to attend.
Give them a chance.
My initial thought at the beginning of this thread was why don't you wait until after school to do the transition? I'm not completely familiar with the process though. Seems like you are started with the hormonal part - are you living as a female or male? If you've started and are living as the sex you've chosen, just go with that.
Focus on school and don't get caught up in the politics of it.
I wish you the best.
steph