Tough Enough?

The first couple times I experienced those situations, it was hard. Its ok to be moved, we are human. Its ok to cry, but I think that you will find that when you are wearing the nurse shoes, your emotions will take backstage until you are by yourself in the med room or on your way home. :) Make sure that you have a kind sensitive soul that you can debrief with. Examine yourself and your beliefs, your thoughts on death, dying and pain. Once you're comfortable with yourself you will be set to take care of your patients. I have a big heart and wear it on my sleeve too. You will learn to use that as an asset, and your toughness will come with time. :) Best of Luck! Cheers~ Ivanna

I also wear all of my emotions on my sleeve. I am bound to start nursing school in January and I feel that if you are determined enough you will learn to toughen your sleeve. :cry:I will cry at any confrontation if it hits me blindsided, but I envision myself as a tough nurse who is there to take care of her patients and by darned it that's the way it's gonna be!!!

Better pick another field.

Death & Dying is a part of this dicipline. You cannot and will not save them all.

During your preparation in your nursing studies please pay attention when they discuss how to address end-of-life issues to parents and families.

Most people are sheltered from children of special needs. Cystic Fibrosis, Multiple Sclerosis, Sicle Cell, CANCER. Hem-ONC kids will break your heart.

Straightforward and honest. Buck-up or go somewhere else.

Before you leave in tears I want you to think about Nursing and why you want to do it in the first place. These patients exist whether you're there to care for them or not. If not YOU... then Who will?

I, too, wear my heart on my sleeve, all the time. And, yes, it does get easier over time. But, I pray that we never lose our compassion.

Agree with all the above, know yourself. As a nurse it is a tricky job balancing compassion, empathy with getting the job done. Be insightful, there are all sort of jobs for compassionate, easily bored nurses. Your heart will be broken, period, accept that as fact and move forward. Do your job the best you can, learn from your mistakes, ask questions and advocate for your pt. But mostly good luck and we have all been where you are(in varying degrees of course)

Thank you all for your comments. I appreciate it!

Wow! You know what? I have cried with patients and their families. I just don't see anything wrong with it. Being a "rock" for someone does not mean you can't show emotion. There is something about seeing tears well up in a person's eyes that makes me cry every time.

Let me tell you what I have noticed more often than nurses being overly emotional. I have watched them neglect the emotional aspects of holistically caring for our patients and their families. I have witnessed family members forgotten in the hall time and again and in many different practice environments.

I'll never forget the time that I was assisting a doc with a lumbar puncture on a very sick patient (bacterial meningitis) who had gone to work that meaning feeling a little poorly and had quickly developed lethargy and ultimately altered mental status. She became unresponsive shortly after admission to the ED. Right before her LP, her son left the room and was sitting around 15 feet from his mother's room. After the difficult LP, I laid the patient back and she began to vomit and seize. We ultimately intubated her and placed a central line. Her prognosis was looking very grim. This was not my patient as I was in charge at the time. The nurse was busy with her other patients. I finished with the patient, gave report to the nurse, and sat down at the desk to document all that had occurred. I looked up about 15 minutes later and saw her son sitting in that same seat - messing with his iPhone. I walked over to ask him how he was doing. He said, "I'm still waiting for them to finish the spinal tap." It was then that I realized that he had no idea his mom had taken such a turn for the worse. I gently shared with him that his mother had been placed on a ventilator and that she had experienced a seizure. I saw tears well up in his eyes and I just grabbed him, hugged him, and cried with him. I can only imagine what it must have felt like to get that kind of news and I think it was pretty insensitive that no one had talked to him about his mom, including myself. I learned my lesson and even though some may say that it is the Docs job to talk with the family, I say that it is EVERYONE's job to make sure that the family and patient are well-cared for. Period.

I hope you never ever lose your compassion and I think it is perfectly acceptable to cry with patients. I don't think sobbing or losing control of yourself to the point that you are unable to work is appropriate. Actually, there may come a time when that does happen, but you should probably excuse yourself under those circumstances. You are entering a profession like no other. Where else do you witness physical and emotional pain like we do? What other professions inflict pain on other breathing humans? This is not to be taken lightly or even something that I recommend getting used to. Trust me, the moment you think it doesn't bother you, it will come out sideways somewhere else in your life. Does that make sense?

Great question and take care of yourself!

Tabitha

I too, had these same issues and doubts when I went from a Pediatric unit to the ER. I jumped in with both feet, and have grown as a nurse for it. Please don't think the fact that you think you are going to cry during trying situations make you unacceptable for this career. I believe that actually makes you a stronger nurse, whatever field you choose. The fact that you like to learn, and like to have a wide variety of things to do, I really think you will love the ER. And if you have never experienced a situation like a young person dying, you might be surprised at how you react. Almost always, while you are busy, emotions will take a back burner, and your knowledge and training will take over. After the fact is usually when it hits you, and that's completely normal, and not debilitating in any way. Get out of the room when you need to, and it's not a bad thing if the family sees you tear up. It just reinforces to them that you do care. Just make sure to take good care of yourself-vent when you need to, find people who will understand and support you. I believe you will can do well.

I worry because I *don't* cry.

I had a wonderful clinical instructor that said "Grief is the price we pay for compassion."

Crying is OK! Especially with grief for a child and the family. I always remind myself that I need to be the one who is strong for the patient and the family. It's hard to start an IV with tears in your eyes. As with almost anything else (and I'm not making light of this at all) you get used to it. It gets easier. Death is part of life, even for 2 year olds, unfortunately. Sometimes I actually feel worse when we code a patient that we all know won't make it and probably wouldn't want it.