To The Point Where I Want to Cry

Nurses Relations

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Most of you have probably seen my posts about the difficult doctor I work with. For those of you that don't, I'm a fairly new Medical Assistant working for a single doctor at a private practice. This doctor is very difficult to approach and everything I do is wrong in his eyes. I feel very incompetent and wonder why he hasn't fired me.

I thought the beginning of today went pretty well. We had new patients who were scheduled for a physical (pediatric patients, twins). However they could not do the physical today because they had orientation for school in an hour. They were also due for immunizations, so I told them we can do immunizations today and the physical another day when they have more time. The doctor was annoyed that they didn't want to do the physical at first, but he calmed down.

He took off during lunch and he never says if hes going to the hospital or if he'll be back. He just said he'd call to check on me end of day. Now I understand where I made this mistake and I acknowledged it. After lunch we had a call from a parent with a sick kid. I referred them to Urgent Care because I had no idea where the doctor was or if he was coming back. He doesn't like people knowing where he is and like I said, he's not approachable, so I'm terrified to bother him, especially because he gets annoyed if I call him when he's out. I should also mention he told me to refer patient's to Urgent Care if he wasn't going to be in, so I thought I was following orders correctly because I honestly didn't know if he was coming back or not.

When he called to check up on me and I told him what happened, he blew up at me. He said "Why didn't you schedule the patient for the end of day!" I told him "I would of, but I didn't know if you were coming back". He claimed said he would be back, but I reminded him he was just going to touch base with me end of day to which he hung up on me.

I don't know what to do at this point. I'm very unhappy at this job. I've applied to a few medical groups, but only had one interview this far. As much as I want to, I can't quit and I really can't be fired because I have bills to pay. I wrote the doctor an apology e-mail owning up to my mistake, hoping he'll let me keep my job.

I'm so confident with the patients and I think my clinical skills are good, but put me on the phones or anything administrative, and I'm a lost cause. I'm the only MA, so its not like I can stay in the back office while someone else handles the administrative stuff.

I get anxiety every night before work and I shake when the doctor is near me and I can hear my pulse racing. What would you do in my position? Should I stick it out until I find something else?

I'm so not looking forward to tomorrow. I'm certain I'll get a lecture and maybe even a firing, which will ruin my whole day.

If he's not doing anything shady, I think you either need to take charge of running that office as it should be (I don't think they cover office mgmt in med school) and not let yourself be intimidated or straight up tell him he needs to pony up and hire someone with the experience he is wanting.

But I'm very assertive at 50, I'm not sure you're age and/or if this is your first job that would be a tall task.

I'm 26. I had a student job when I was in college, but this is my first job in the medical field.

I'm 26. I had a student job when I was in college, but this is my first job in the medical field.

If he's only going to have one person in the office, hiring someone without experience is pretty nonnsensical.

I think I'd draw up the courage to speak directly and unapologetically and tell him you guys either need to figure out a working relationship with him spelling out a few things or you're both going to need to start over.

Next time you're intimidated because of your lack of experience, remember that he's self employed and failing at running his office, he has not got things sorted out himself.

I agree with the above. I worked as an assistant in an office while in school. The one provider who worked the same days as me saw me as an inconvenience (she didn't hire me and made it clear she would have hired an experienced MA instead. She had some personal issues going on, and looking back I also wonder if drugs were an issue. In any case, she decided I was useless and from then on I could do nothing right, had a target on my back. She would YELL at me in front of a full waiting room for not telling her a new pt had arrived in the way she preferred. It was miserable.

I would schedule a meeting with him to talk about the issues (this was suggested by the office mgr where I worked and I did so). Go in prepared, start off by trying to see things from his point of view, acknowledging anything you've done that you legit could have done better, and stating how you will improve. Then identify any areas you know you need to grow (you did say you were inexperienced), explain any plans you have to do so, ask what else he suggests you do. Then ask him for feedback, how you can improve, emphasize you want to be effective and helpful, etc. Take notes. Ask if you can schedule a VERY brief time regularly, maybe weekly, to go over your progress or issues for improvement.

If he refuses to meet or is unreasonable then there is definitely something shady going on in his personal life, or he just can't work with people, period. (If he refuses the last part, the follow up meetings it may just seem like too much. Offer to have him email you feedback, and explain you believe it will be worth it so the office runs better. If he still refuses let it go.) If he agrees and it helps, great. If not, you've given it yr best shot and its not likely to improve. Either way keep applying for any job you can find. many providers are great to work with and your confidence week improve.

I understand your frustration in looking for jobs. As I understand, MA jobs don't pay all that great (not a putdown, just observation). If this job is that bad and you can't find another in the field, broaden your search. Better to work retail or whatever for awhile than have your confidence destroyed and come home from work every day depressed (again I've been there.) The longer you work with so much anxiety, the more likely you are to make a serious mistake...or have him lodge a bs complaint that causes you major trouble.

Your story sounds very similar to mine when I worked as a medical assistant in a doctor's office. I knew what the doctors mood was the minute he walked in the office just by how he closed the door behind him when coming in the office. I hated the bad mood days which were almost always. I got sucked into that rut and stayed for 12 months because I needed the experience but one day I just had enough, luckily I found a great job with benefits and was able to pursue becoming an RN. Eight years later I'm still with the company and have moved up from being a medical assistant to working as an oncology nurse. Your time will come just keep looking and a better job will come along. Good luck.

I agree with the above. I worked as an assistant in an office while in school. The one provider who worked the same days as me saw me as an inconvenience (she didn't hire me and made it clear she would have hired an experienced MA instead. She had some personal issues going on, and looking back I also wonder if drugs were an issue. In any case, she decided I was useless and from then on I could do nothing right, had a target on my back. She would YELL at me in front of a full waiting room for not telling her a new pt had arrived in the way she preferred. It was miserable.

I would schedule a meeting with him to talk about the issues (this was suggested by the office mgr where I worked and I did so). Go in prepared, start off by trying to see things from his point of view, acknowledging anything you've done that you legit could have done better, and stating how you will improve. Then identify any areas you know you need to grow (you did say you were inexperienced), explain any plans you have to do so, ask what else he suggests you do. Then ask him for feedback, how you can improve, emphasize you want to be effective and helpful, etc. Take notes. Ask if you can schedule a VERY brief time regularly, maybe weekly, to go over your progress or issues for improvement.

If he refuses to meet or is unreasonable then there is definitely something shady going on in his personal life, or he just can't work with people, period. (If he refuses the last part, the follow up meetings it may just seem like too much. Offer to have him email you feedback, and explain you believe it will be worth it so the office runs better. If he still refuses let it go.) If he agrees and it helps, great. If not, you've given it yr best shot and its not likely to improve. Either way keep applying for any job you can find. many providers are great to work with and your confidence week improve.

I understand your frustration in looking for jobs. As I understand, MA jobs don't pay all that great (not a putdown, just observation). If this job is that bad and you can't find another in the field, broaden your search. Better to work retail or whatever for awhile than have your confidence destroyed and come home from work every day depressed (again I've been there.) The longer you work with so much anxiety, the more likely you are to make a serious mistake...or have him lodge a bs complaint that causes you major trouble.

I really like your suggestion to set up a meeting with the doctor.. I think it will show him I want to learn and improve. In the meantime, I'm going to apply everywhere I can. I have some experience now so I'm hoping it will be a little easier to find a job than when I had no experience.

Your story sounds very similar to mine when I worked as a medical assistant in a doctor's office. I knew what the doctors mood was the minute he walked in the office just by how he closed the door behind him when coming in the office. I hated the bad mood days which were almost always. I got sucked into that rut and stayed for 12 months because I needed the experience but one day I just had enough, luckily I found a great job with benefits and was able to pursue becoming an RN. Eight years later I'm still with the company and have moved up from being a medical assistant to working as an oncology nurse. Your time will come just keep looking and a better job will come along. Good luck.

Did you quit before or after you found the job with benefits? I think I need to wait until after I find a job due to finances and what not. I truly don't understand why doctors think they are a god and we should worship the ground they walk on.

Specializes in ER, Med-surg.

You sound like a very nice and probably slightly meek/nervous person, and you're giving this guy way, way more credit for good decision-making than he deserves. Deciding to hire a single, inexperienced MA to run his practice, refusing to train her, and hiding information needed to do scheduling from her is all the behavior of an unreasonable person whose judgement is impaired. Everything he's doing is suspicious for substance abuse and/or secretive sexual behavior. Normal professionals in private practice do not hide their daily schedule from their scheduling staff.

The sooner you can get out of there, the better. You're not going to learn much from a person who sounds like he's not capable of or interested in training you to his mysterious standard ("Schedule them how I want them scheduled! No, I'm not going to TELL you how I want my schedule done! Figure it out!") and there's no one around to help you.

But yeah, at this point, you might as well start talking back to him with confidence- it's quite likely he knows full well that he's not capable of getting/keeping more experienced staff, and if he tells you to do the impossible, you just have to say "That's impossible. What possible alternative would you like me to do instead?" Because by letting it slide and then letting him chew you out later for your failure to do the impossible, you're just letting yourself slide further into misery and anxiety.

Chin up. There are a lot of jerk doctors out there, but very few of them are this bad. It's all uphill from here.

You sound like a very nice and probably slightly meek/nervous person, and you're giving this guy way, way more credit for good decision-making than he deserves. Deciding to hire a single, inexperienced MA to run his practice, refusing to train her, and hiding information needed to do scheduling from her is all the behavior of an unreasonable person whose judgement is impaired. Everything he's doing is suspicious for substance abuse and/or secretive sexual behavior. Normal professionals in private practice do not hide their daily schedule from their scheduling staff.

The sooner you can get out of there, the better. You're not going to learn much from a person who sounds like he's not capable of or interested in training you to his mysterious standard ("Schedule them how I want them scheduled! No, I'm not going to TELL you how I want my schedule done! Figure it out!") and there's no one around to help you.

But yeah, at this point, you might as well start talking back to him with confidence- it's quite likely he knows full well that he's not capable of getting/keeping more experienced staff, and if he tells you to do the impossible, you just have to say "That's impossible. What possible alternative would you like me to do instead?" Because by letting it slide and then letting him chew you out later for your failure to do the impossible, you're just letting yourself slide further into misery and anxiety.

Chin up. There are a lot of jerk doctors out there, but very few of them are this bad. It's all uphill from here.

Yup. He's obviously doing something illegal. If he wasn't, he should be able to tell me if he's in a meeting, seeing patients at the hospital, etc. I could see him not wanting to tell me what he does on the weekend, but I should have the privilege of knowing where he is during business hours. He always says we need to be available for our patients, but we never are because I can't schedule patients if I don't know where he's going to be that day.

He is definitely the cause of my anxiety. I can't wait for the day I find another job and can quit this jerk.

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Yup. He's obviously doing something illegal. If he wasn't, he should be able to tell me if he's in a meeting, seeing patients at the hospital, etc. I could see him not wanting to tell me what he does on the weekend, but I should have the privilege of knowing where he is during business hours. He always says we need to be available for our patients, but we never are because I can't schedule patients if I don't know where he's going to be that day.

You don't know this for sure, and saying this could be considered slander. Be very careful who you talk to about this doctor and what you say about him.

Yup. I could see him not wanting to tell me what he does on the weekend, but I should have the privilege of knowing where he is during business hours. He always says we need to be available for our patients, but we never are because I can't schedule patients if I don't know where he's going to be that day.

He is definitely the cause of my anxiety. I can't wait for the day I find another job and can quit this jerk.

.....

He sounfs like s narcissist to me, in addition to any shady stuff going on. If that's the case, he has set up this situation so that you can't win and he will continually have evidence that he is superior.

I would not even waste my time trying to talk to this guy. He needs to "improve and learn" way more than you do, OP.

In my experience, the only effective way to deal with this kind of person is to get away from them.

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