I am 30 years old, and plan on applying into a 2-yr RN program next summer. I really want to be a nurse and finish school as soon as I can. However, I don't want to be in my mid to late 30's, having my first child. My husband and I have been together for 6 years. He is 33. He wants kids just as bad as I do, however he thinks we will be in a better place if I finish school before we have kids. He has school behind him, and is self employed, and doing what he loves, and is ready to do whatever I feel is right for me. We are in a good situation right now....we don't have a mortgage to pay - and it seems like right now would be the perfect time to start a family. We can both devote time to a child, and time to each other. I am really torn with what to do. I know that once I finish nursing school and get a job, it'll be work, work, work for quite a while. Another thing I am concerned about is the $20,000 tuition. If there is anyone out there that has been in a similar situation, any advice would be much appreciated. I would also be okay with waiting until later in life to go back to school. I do think that family is more important than a career. I already have a degree in healthcare and have been working in the field for about 10 years.....
Thanks to everyone that replied. I am in agreement that nursing school will always be there. The option for me to have kids may not be. I had an ectopic pregnancy last year, which also concerns me with possible future miscarriages. I am leaning towards having kids sooner rather than later. That is what my heart tells me to do! I just wanted input from anyone that has been through it, and I really appreciate all of the great advice. Good luck to all of you and thanks again!!
Well I can't say that I am in the same boat as I already have 2 kids, but I do want more. I am still a pre-nursing student with a 2 & 3 year old. They are good with me going to school because we have worked it so that my long days at school are my husband's days off. They get more days with just Daddy and have actually grown closer to him because of it. As far as my hope for future children I have decided to wait until after NS. I get "Baby Brain" when I am pregnant. I lose motivation and seem to never get anything done when I am pregnant. I can't retain information and am just don't feel mentally all there. I know it sounds crazy, but I have heard that I am not the only one. I just don't think that is the best way to be in nursing school.
If you were to start trying for pregnancy now and it happens quick you should know your mental state during pregnancy. Then maybe you can start a weekend program next fall so that your baby can spend the days at home with your husband (if those are his days off). There were several girls in my pre-req classes who were pregnant last semester and the professors were more than willing to work with them if they delivered while classes were still in session.
Ultimately it is a personal decision and I wish you all the best. Either choice will change your life forever.
My opinion is go for the children now. I am beginning nursing school at 38 yrs old in a few weeks. I had my first of three babies at 30. I feel that now I am in a family position (with lots of support and a husband with very flexible, stable hours.) and a personal position (after 8 years as a stay at home Mom I can really appreciate the time away for me and focus on them when I am home).
I truly could not have managed infants and nursing school or shift working. What no one has mentioned is your particular parenting style. We were committed attachment parenting folks-extended breastfeeding, co sleeping, baby wearing, and so on. We loved it, but could never have done it if I couldn't devote myself FT. I'm not suggesting that is how anyone should do it, but that it is something to consider about yourself when making this decision. What kind of parents do you want to be? How were you raised? What do you value?
It kind of sounds like you have already made your decision and just don't know it. By that, I mean, it sounds like you are okay with going back to school as a woman in your mid to late 30's, but not with being a new Mother at that age.
I can attest to the belief that there really is no perfect time to have a child. They will surely turn your world upside down in some regard--even if it's not financial! :chuckle I do agree that responsible planning for children is a good thing, though.
BTW, I'm not sure what your reasons are for not wanting to be in your mid 30's having children, so I am trying to be sensitive to that thought, but JMHO---30's isn't old. I am such a different person and MOTHER than I was just 4 years ago when I had my first son. I expect to get better at being a Mother and person with every year that passes.
All that said, it sounds like you should start your family now and then go to school. If *I* were you, I would wait until my kiddo(s) were 3-4 before starting. Well, I kind of *am* you--I am going back to school for a second degree--nursing--and I have a 22 month old and a 4 year old. Savor these early years---they DO fly!!!!
I've been a stay at home mom for three years. I have a one year old and three year old. I just started pre-nursing school this year. I'm taking as many classes online as I can so I can stay at home as much as possible with my babes. I do think it's very important to be there as much as you can while your baby is little. That is time you will never get back. Nursing school will always be there. But those precious snuggle times with your baby, when she's the only thing on your mind, will not. Sacrificing your own desires during that first year will come back ten-folds. Babies need their mothers. Now my children are a little bigger and it's easier for me to leave them for a few hours a week. By the time I start clinicals, they will both be in school. My sister is even more pressed on the stay at home mom issue than I am. She thinks I should take eight years to get my BSN, which there is no way I'm doing that. Even if you did some classes online, that would help. Then when your child is older, he/she will remember you going to school and knowing from a very young age that school is important. And he/she will be your BIGGEST cheerleader! My three year tells everyone that mommy gets A's!:chuckle It's really a decision only you can make. But as a mom, I can tell you that time flies by with little ones. Whatever you choose to do, both will be very exciting and rewarding. Good luck! Oh, here's some food for thought, one of my instructors said in the beginning of class, "if your child is sick, you better leave your cell phone on, because children are more important than school."
Well, as a single mom of a 4yr old trying to get through nursing school I would absolutely do school first! I was lucky in that I did all my nursing pre-req's years before I was married and ds was born, but then I was divorced the year after. There was no way I personally could have done school at any time before this, I just would have missed WAY too much with ds and no career or degree is worth that IMO.
So, the reality is (if you're like me) you're going to have your baby and not be in any state emotionally/mentally to put them in daycare all day and hit the books. Add to that, likely by the time you're feeling ready to go back to school, you'll also feel ready to have another baby, so then you're back to square one.
If you go to school now, you can really push yourself in ways that just aren't possible as a new mom of a little one who needs so much from you. You could really whip through your courses now without the added stress and conflict of your baby. Once you have your degree it's just a matter of staying current with it vs. the time intense schedule you'd be required to undertake in nursing school.
Something else to remember is that most nursing schools are pretty strick on attendence. This is the first time my ds ever been in daycare and he's gotten sick a lot. I have had to miss school and one clinical because of it and now I'm too the point where I have to find someone to leave him with should he get sick again, or my place in nursing school is in jeapordy. We're not talking a lot of absences either, but there just is no wiggle room in nursing school for stuff like that.
Also, I consider myself a pretty smart person. I don't find nursing school academically challenging really, but the workload is intense. I have my BS in another area, and even the semesters where I was taking 20credit hours, are nothing compared to nursing school. I've got about 3-5 exams per week, not including assignments, and modules for each exam, plus standardized tests to take and twice a week clinicals which take a LOT of time to prepare for. For example the day/night before clinical I have to go to the hospital to get my pt assignment, then come home and write up a care plan, research all the meds the pt is taking and basically know their chart front to back. If you have a child somewhere in all that time you've got to care for them and it's tough.
For me as a single mom I know we're in a short season of pushing through so that we can have a better life on the other side, but man I'm kicking myself for not finishing my nursing degree before ds was born I know you're not a single mom, so you'll have some help, but you'll also WANT to be with your baby so even if dad can do everything in terms of care you're not going to want to miss it all.
Not to be a "debbie downer" but you have to think worst case scenario before you have kids. God forbid anything happend to your dh, his ability to work, or to your marriage, but if it did would you want to be in the position to still have to go back to school in all that mess? I know it took me a good year after the divorce to come out of the "fog" of it all and be able to even think about going back to school.
Once you get in your mid to late 30s, unfortunately the rate of genetic problems increases, as well as pregnancy complications. Fertility decreases with age as the biological clock ticks.
Family is priority to me no matter what. It is the most important thing to me and I would regret it so much if I waited and was not able to have kids later...more so than if I was never able to go to school again....worst case scenario. I do have goals that I would like to follow through with, no questions asked, however if I feel that (for me) I shouldn't wait until my mid 30's to try and conceive. I do have female issues and have lost a pregnancy. Those are concerns for me now and if I waited a little longer who knows what I may run into 3-4 years from now. If I did wait and was able to get pregnant down the line, yes, I would have a great career, but being away from my child 12-13 hours per day - and then coming home, only to have nothing left to give them - would be horrible too. I want to be there for them while I can be. I know that I have kids now I won't regret it. I know it's a lot of work, but I also know it's the greatest thing I will ever do in my life.
Family is priority to me no matter what. It is the most important thing to me and I would regret it so much if I waited and was not able to have kids later...more so than if I was never able to go to school again....worst case scenario. I do have goals that I would like to follow through with, no questions asked, however if I feel that (for me) I shouldn't wait until my mid 30's to try and conceive. I do have female issues and have lost a pregnancy. Those are concerns for me now and if I waited a little longer who knows what I may run into 3-4 years from now. If I did wait and was able to get pregnant down the line, yes, I would have a great career, but being away from my child 12-13 hours per day - and then coming home, only to have nothing left to give them - would be horrible too. I want to be there for them while I can be. I know that I have kids now I won't regret it. I know it's a lot of work, but I also know it's the greatest thing I will ever do in my life.
It sounds like you've thought this through and really have a level head! I wish you the best of luck (and FUN!:chuckle) trying to get pregnant! Like others said, school will be there later.
Thanks to everyone that replied. I am in agreement that nursing school will always be there. The option for me to have kids may not be. I had an ectopic pregnancy last year, which also concerns me with possible future miscarriages. I am leaning towards having kids sooner rather than later. That is what my heart tells me to do! I just wanted input from anyone that has been through it, and I really appreciate all of the great advice. Good luck to all of you and thanks again!!
Ultimately you do have to do what is right for you. If starting your family is your priority that is perfectly ok. You can take prerequisites while trying to have a child and then pause your school career while taking care of your baby. The point I am reaching for is to do what helps you to feel fulfilled.
I know you're not a single mom, so you'll have some help, but you'll also WANT to be with your baby so even if dad can do everything in terms of care you're not going to want to miss it all. 
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Do both. Learn multi-tasking NOW.