To start nursing school - or start a family? Help!

NurseyBaby'05, BSN, RN · Dec 28, 2008

Is having a baby and going to school part-time an option? By the time you would finish pre-req's the babe would be in pre-school. Most two year programs wind-up taking 3 years or so by the time you do those first. You're right about working right after school to get some reenforcement/mastery of your nursing skills. You hear about people having kids in their late 30s and early 40s all the time, but you often don't hear about their struggles to do so.

If it were me, I would go part-time and get all of my pre-req's and other core classes out of the way. They could chipped away while I was having kids and then I would apply to the RN portion. It's a lot easier to go in and out during pre-req's than when you're in the actual nursing program. You don't know how a pregnancy is going to treat you. You don't know how things will be in baby's first year or so. People do it and do well with it, but if you don't have to do everything together, I wouldn't.

The other thing I saw in your post that had me concerned was the $20,000 price tag. :eek: Is that the only program in your area? You could also use the time you spend with the baby researching all of your options before you drop $20,000 for a two year program. See what else is out there. Also, if your grades are good from your pre-reqs, it can put you in line for a scholarship. :w00t:

bananabubbletea · Dec 28, 2008

hmm this is a dilemma, i agree with the above post that i would get my prerequisites finished. Sometimes your wait is so long to get into programs you can have kids and they will be 4 yr old. Kids are very time consuming and it is very hard to go to school when they are under 2. This is from my personal experience. If you have a good babysitter and someone else who can help you 24/7 it is easier.Good luck

lovehospital · Dec 28, 2008

I am 30 years old, and plan on applying into a 2-yr RN program next summer. I really want to be a nurse and finish school as soon as I can. However, I don't want to be in my mid to late 30's, having my first child. My husband and I have been together for 6 years. He is 33. He wants kids just as bad as I do, however he thinks we will be in a better place if I finish school before we have kids. He has school behind him, and is self employed, and doing what he loves, and is ready to do whatever I feel is right for me. We are in a good situation right now....we don't have a mortgage to pay - and it seems like right now would be the perfect time to start a family. We can both devote time to a child, and time to each other. I am really torn with what to do. I know that once I finish nursing school and get a job, it'll be work, work, work for quite a while. Another thing I am concerned about is the $20,000 tuition. If there is anyone out there that has been in a similar situation, any advice would be much appreciated. I would also be okay with waiting until later in life to go back to school. I do think that family is more important than a career. I already have a degree in healthcare and have been working in the field for about 10 years.....

I seen people doing both with a great success,however if there is a choice to make I would definitely have the baby due to increased risk with older age...

FireStarterRN, BSN, RN · Dec 28, 2008

I definately vote for starting a family now. You don't need to be rich to have a child. Never will there be a 'perfect' time, once you get out of school you'll be starting a new career and then before you know it your fertility will start waning and the risks go up.

Vtachy1 · Dec 28, 2008

In my situation, I have found that nursing is a HORRIBLE career to have during the child raising years. Unless you can find an office job or a job with banker's hours. But it may be different if you have lots of family backup support to help you. I don't. When my kids were before school years, I worked 7p - 11p in our ICU. BUt it was really 6p that I left my home and never got out of the unit until 2 a.m., and I'm not one of those pokey nurses either, my entire goal is to clock out just as soon as I possibly could, so that I could get home to my precious ones. It wore me down and the stress was absolutely unbearable. Its all the education, training, seminars, and staff meetings on top of it too. Heck, I could have a full time job just attending all the extra bologne that we have to go to.

Anyway, now that my kids are in school, there's not one shift that is helpful to raising children!!!! I am so frustrated and ticked off I could scream! I am ready to sell every uniform in my closet and quit nursing all together. Its horrible for raising children. After kids, maybe I'll go back. But its not worth it right now, my marriage and my kids need my full investment right now.

If I had to do over again, I'd NEVER be a nurse and a mom at the same time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DroogieRN · Dec 28, 2008

I am 43 and just finished my first semester of an ADN program. I'm loving it and keep thinking -- Wow, I wish I'd done this sooner. However, there is no way I could have. My children are 16 and 13 and contribute so much to their own care, and that's the only way I am able to devote the time to studying that it requires. My DH is wonderfully supportive but has a very demanding job and isn't able to help much -- if I had attempted this when my kids were pre-school age, there is no way I personally could have done it.

The timing, for me, could not be better. When I'm finished, my DD will be in her senior year of HS and my DS will be a freshman, and I'll "only" be 45. :yeah: There are lots of moms with young kids in my program, so I know it's doable, but I see them in class and hear about their studying, and I can only imagine that doesn't leave a lot of time for the kids, especially the working moms. Many of them seem to juggle it wonderfully; I only know I could not have.

The only regret I have about having kids is that I didn't have more, and sooner. Nursing will always be there. Just my :twocents: . Best of luck to you, whatever you decide.

racing-mom4, BSN, RN · Dec 28, 2008

It can be done but it will take lots of help from friends and family. Most of your pre-reqs you can do nights and weekends or online. The actual nursing classes and clinicals are usually during the day. I started nursing school with a baby a 5 year old and 2 middle school kids. I missed AlOT. I skipped my own graduation and pinning to attend a grade school musical--as I felt so guilty that nursing school had consumed my life! At the time I graduated the baby was then 5 and he said to me "you never read me books outloud any more" as I always had my head in a nursing book!!

Now that I am a working nurse it is not that bad all the kids are in school and I work 3rd shift. I also work weekends so I dont have to worry with day care for the little ones...

If you really want to be a nurse I say go for it. It is amazing what one can do when they set thier mind to it.

I regreted not becoming a nurse in my 20s. I didnt want to regret it in my 40s.

azsane2003 · Dec 28, 2008

Go ahead start your family,I was pregnant in nursing school it can be done, It will be hard but the clock is ticking

cardiacRN2006, ADN, RN · Dec 28, 2008

Even at the tender age of 30, your fertility is already decreasing.

You can always put off nursing school, but you can't put off your bio clock. Start trying for the kids, now. Or you can wait like I did and not have the ability to have them at all.

If you do turn out to have fertility problems, then it's better to know now where treatments can acutally help, then when you are older.

How I wished I started trying for children earlier.

tripp3horn · Dec 28, 2008

I've been a stay at home mom for three years. I have a one year old and three year old. I just started pre-nursing school this year. I'm taking as many classes online as I can so I can stay at home as much as possible with my babes. I do think it's very important to be there as much as you can while your baby is little. That is time you will never get back. Nursing school will always be there. But those precious snuggle times with your baby, when she's the only thing on your mind, will not. Sacrificing your own desires during that first year will come back ten-folds. Babies need their mothers. Now my children are a little bigger and it's easier for me to leave them for a few hours a week. By the time I start clinicals, they will both be in school. My sister is even more pressed on the stay at home mom issue than I am. She thinks I should take eight years to get my BSN, which there is no way I'm doing that. Even if you did some classes online, that would help. Then when your child is older, he/she will remember you going to school and knowing from a very young age that school is important. And he/she will be your BIGGEST cheerleader! My three year tells everyone that mommy gets A's!:chuckle It's really a decision only you can make. But as a mom, I can tell you that time flies by with little ones. Whatever you choose to do, both will be very exciting and rewarding. Good luck! Oh, here's some food for thought, one of my instructors said in the beginning of class, "if your child is sick, you better leave your cell phone on, because children are more important than school."

FireStarterRN, BSN, RN · Dec 28, 2008

Oh, Cardiac, I'm sorry for your heartbreak of infertility. :icon_hug:Thanks for sharing.