In the hospital where I used to work, family members would come up to the desk all the time to say "dad needs a _______ (blanket, cup, straw) and I developed a nasty habit of saying (in a perfectly innocent tone) "Does he know how to use the call light?" Gradually my tone started getting more and more sarcastic. Had to stop that one after a few nasty looks. oops.
Or "that's not real high on my priority list"
I know there's been plenty more....
At least I knew I had to leave the hospital setting for a bit before my mouth could get me in too much trouble. Feeling much better suited to home health, where you can throw whatever you like at me! I'll be out of your house in less than an hour!
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
I worked in a small community hospital that was basically a big med-surg floor.We often had children on the unit. I had a teenage prima donna who was post -op for something or other and had an n/g to wall suction.Mind you,the cannister was above and behind the head of the bed.She and her mother demanded repeatedly that we keep the cannister covered with a pillow case because "the sight of it made them both sick" My co-worker informed them that this would be impossible because we needed to assess the contents of the cannister frequently and 'If it gets blocked she could explode" I had to run from that room...
I had a teenager with divorcing parents, an aunt RN in the OR and nothing much wrong with him except the ability to manipulate the entire DYSFUNCTIONAL family. He had complained of intermittent pain that seemed to move from location to location...Finally had a knee scoped-nothing going on there. He was on so much codeine that he ended up on our unit with CONSTIPATION. I'll never forget the spectacle the entire clan put on in the middle of the nurse's station on a Sunday morning (since the aunt worked in the OR she assumed she didn't have any boundaries) Anyway-guess who drew the short straw and got to deliver the SSE? Yep-yours truly. The brat REFUSED to get up to the commode-I'll never forget the mess he made laying over sideways on the bedpan waving toilet tissues in his outstretched hand crying " I can't do it-I can't see" I said " Your butt is in the same place it's been since the day you were born-NOW WIPE IT!" Crap dripping down the side of the bed-his family wringing their hands in the hallway. His aunt barged in and said "O hunny,I'll take care of you" I threw her out of the room after I told her she was a BIG part of his problem. I would love to know what really went on in that family behind closed doors-it was a weird situation. What normal male 15 yr old wants his aunt (or anyone for that matter?) to wipe his hiney?.I was surprised I didn't end up in the office over that....
Have a pt who has a trach, non-verbal, no purposeful movement, hx of CVA, TBI, and MVC; she is actually very stable at this time. Anyways, her hubby came in and was demanding to staff, was trying to tell us how to do our job, saying that he knows how some people can be slack on their job, etc., all the while, preaching about how faithful to God he is and how he is expecting his wife to walk out of the facility after graduating from rehab (not going to happen.) Well, one night he got so close to me and started yelling, I had to tell him to back up and that I would call the police if he did it again. I then told him, that he didn't need to worry about the staff mistreating his wife, b/c we loved her, it was him we couldn't stand.
That man sounds like a typical cafeteria Christian - I am glad that I have not dealt with such hypocrisy yet because i would have told that man the truth -
My big mouth does get me in trouble sometimes, But in this world we live in nowadays - Take a Chance sometimes and be honest.
Last night for example, I had a patient (45 y/o female a/ox3 DKA hx HTN) that got on my very last nerve. Complaining about everything under the sun. Insulting the tech, the staff and me at every waking moment. I would be doing here accuchecks and she'd be on the phone complaining about me to whomever she was talking to. Yada Yada Yada - all shift long. Around 0500 this morning, the doctors told her she'd be d/c later in the morning and recieve follow-up home care with home health nurses. This lady did not want to leave to "comforts" of the hospital. In an effort to keep herself hospitalized, she cut her wrists and legs with a sharp knife. Minor cuts but still some bleeding.
After we dressed the wounds and called for an emergency psychiatric evaluation, the patient continued with strange behavior and an aggressive attitude. She would Pee on the floor, finger-painting with her poopoo - all for attention.
I snapped.
Me: "Do you honestly think that you will be staying here on this unit? The Self-abuse, strange behaviors, and suicidal threats you have made have gotten you a first class trip to the 5150 Psychiatric Unit - its were you belonged in the first place"
I agree with you about needing a reality TV show about nursing. Even a fictional show that ACTUALLY had nurses in it would help. What amazes me about "Greys anatomy", "House" etc. is that they only show the Doctors! The doctors are there holding the patients hands, the doctors are there when they code to save their life, never show nurses.. The doctors are always there.... I don't know if Australia is different to America, but here, the nurses virtually run the hospitals, keep the wheels turning and, except for ER, ICU, CCU, they are usually only visiting on wards.
I can't believe some of these posts on how nurses are treated by patients and relatives. I have not come across that very much and have NEVER had anyone say "I pay your wages". There was defiitely a difference between maternity patients in public and private hospitals here and some of the private patients were demanding, however, in the public hospitals I also got people who ordered me around when they were getting it all for free!
I have found most of these posts so sad that nursing is regarded so badly and that patients are treated as customers and that they "are always right". God help us.
I think, today in fact, I just let on a few too many times to a family how "busy" i was. I mean -- these jerks were calling me every 5 minutes for something ...anything they could dream up. The techs were in their usuall la-la land helping me with NOTHING.
I just have to try to get these families to understand ...there is only ONE of me and FIVE or more of you. Your requests CAN wait. Your dad's diaper does not need to be changed 10 seconds after he urinates into it. He is not a priority for me right now.
How can we get people to understand this??? I WISH so badly there was a reality show, on nursing, FOR AMERICANS -- to get it. NURSES ARE FREEAKINGOVERWORKEDANDBUSYCAN'TYOUJUSTSEETHISHOWDUMBANDOBTUESECANYOUBE????
Here's an idea, American families, and others: try changing it yourself. Oh, you don't DO that?? You'd just rather step out of the room? Well, time to start doing it. There aren't enough nurses. Period. Your grand hosptial won't hire them, for whateverfreakingreason. It's really going to have to get to this, at some point. We nurses on staff right now ... we're at the breaking point. Or close to it.
We had a pt the other day, frequent hospitalizations who was admitted for recurring cellulitis. She had been rude to most of the staff and made several of them cry. But having cared for her on previous nights, didn't think much of it having her back and since day shift had had a busy day and her dressings had yet to be changed. I thought it would be a good learning opportunity for the new grad I was precepting. Needless to say, my new grad went in to tell her we would be coming in to change her dressings shortly and came out close to tears. The patient was livid that it was almost 9 and her dressings hadn't been changed before this because now she wanted to go to bed. Not to mention she was only at the hospital because she had REFUSED to go to an assisted care facility that day.
Needless to say I marched right in there my new grad in tow. "Mrs. X, this behavior is unacceptable. You're in a hospital. We provide 24 hour care, you're dressings are ordered to be changed once a day, I am sorry they were not changed earlier, but it is still the same day." Pt starts to complain that things are never done at the same time. "I'm sorry sometimes there are emergent situations that occur that delay routine dressing changes." Pt starts whining that she is not a priority "Not when someone else is DYING!" Needless to say she stopped complaining very quickly after that and proceeded to talk to us about her family and favorite television shows while we changed her dressings and told the oncoming shift what good care she had during the night
We had a pt the other day, frequent hospitalizations who was admitted for recurring cellulitis. She had been rude to most of the staff and made several of them cry. But having cared for her on previous nights, didn't think much of it having her back and since day shift had had a busy day and her dressings had yet to be changed. I thought it would be a good learning opportunity for the new grad I was precepting. Needless to say, my new grad went in to tell her we would be coming in to change her dressings shortly and came out close to tears. The patient was livid that it was almost 9 and her dressings hadn't been changed before this because now she wanted to go to bed. Not to mention she was only at the hospital because she had REFUSED to go to an assisted care facility that day.
Needless to say I marched right in there my new grad in tow. "Mrs. X, this behavior is unacceptable. You're in a hospital. We provide 24 hour care, you're dressings are ordered to be changed once a day, I am sorry they were not changed earlier, but it is still the same day." Pt starts to complain that things are never done at the same time. "I'm sorry sometimes there are emergent situations that occur that delay routine dressing changes." Pt starts whining that she is not a priority "Not when someone else is DYING!" Needless to say she stopped complaining very quickly after that and proceeded to talk to us about her family and favorite television shows while we changed her dressings and told the oncoming shift what good care she had during the night
Seems like you handled this really well. I had a patient like that once - really rude, crabby, etc. I was so frustrated with her one night I just said: "What on EARTH is wrong?!" She burst into tears and she was just in a depressed mood (I had only looked after her that night) - her hubby had died about a year ago and this wasn't handed over. She was very lonely and didn't have any children visiting etc. I felt so sorry for her and we chatted a bit. After that she was better, but I did feel awful for her. She had had no counselling or anything and was so lonely. Poor thing.
Oh but we do work for the patients. Without them there is no income which in turn means no need for you so enjoy your day off.
Firstly, TAX PAYERS are paying for indigent patients. Secondly, for those self-righteous demanding pts & their families, hire a private nurse and also a maid for the kind of service to which you apparently feel "entitled." Or...take it up with hospital administration who is more interested in cutting costs than hiring more nurses. However, the hospital really isn't the problem. The real problem is demanding pts who expect top-of-the-line HC AND royal tx yet don't want to PAY for it! Imagine the looks on pts' faces at their bills if hospitals hired enough nurses & staff to cater to pts' every whim. These are likely the same people who feel "entitled" to HC. It's their "right," damn it! Of course, that's only if someone ELSE is paying for it! Where DOES Obama keep that magic money stash???!!!
Umm is that the part where the person who answers the light (if they ever do) then proceeds to ignore or forget the request? I slept in a bed full of icewater once because I was so weak after surgery that I spilled my water pitcher. I called and told them (followed procedure- used the call bell) and no one EVER came. My roomate also called- "we'll take care of it". I slept in that wet cold icy bed. I have seen this happen to patients many times, at work and as a visitor. They call and it rings, rings, rings. Someone finally answers then nothing happens. They call again, again. Thirty minutes to get a bedpan, one hour to get a med, forget it if there is something wrong on your tray or you are cold or can't reach the phone. Is this the case at your facility? If so then try to understand why the family comes out to request things in person. They want to be sure that their loved one is not forgotten.
I can't recall saying anything to patients or family members that I shouldn't have, but I have given them the silent treatment before when I felt like I just could not possibly hold my tongue if I opened my mouth. There are people that make it impossible to try to have a civil conversation, so sometimes I just completely avoid speaking to them.
Gee, ice-water....what an EMERGENCY! The nurse was probably tending to pts who couldn't wait. This apparently isn't upsetting enough to you to inspire you to cough up the extra cash so hospitals can afford to hire more nurses. You get what you pay for. HC is NOT free! (NOR is it the tax payers' responsibility.)
The majority of our patients have private insurance and the entitlement mentality to go along with it. They do not want inconvenience, pain, interruptions, etc. We are there to serve them. I would make a hell of a restaurant waitress; I've had great training for it. Was she crazy? No, just very, very special.
These are the same people who THINK they're paying too much for HC. Too cheap to pay the REAL cost of the type of HC to which they feel oh sooooo 'entitled'...then turn around and blame the nurses, doctors, hospitals, and health insurance companies for their OWN cheapness. Yes, folks, HC IS expensive...and, BTW, you're actually getting a GOOD deal on that health insurance and all that care you do receive. In your next life, get a little more ambitious & put forth the necessary effort such that you're in a decent enough position where you can afford to pay for that health insurance (or, Heaven forbid, even pay cash) without thinking it's such a burden. YOU chose your path in life; now YOU deal with the results of your chosen path.
BTW, re the pts who expect ER staff to speaky Spanish, um, next time turn them in to INS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What ARE these people doing in the US anyway??????????!!
The second (Where I didn't actually say something but...): Another hectic day in the ER. Had a woman come in via EMS with a vague complaint of "just not feeling good." No pain, no injury. We put her in T6. Time passed, and we put a little old lady into T5, who promptly coded. Everyone made a bee-line for the code, so I stayed at the desk to watch things. The family of the woman in T6 came out, and said that his wife needed to use the bathroom. Before I got further, let me make a few things clear: 1) This woman was completely able-bodied; she could have gotten up herself. 2)T6 was the only room with its own bathroom, which was approximately 5 steps from her bed. 3) The only thing she was hooked to was her IV bag; no tele, no oxygen. 4) This wasn't my patient, but everyone else was busy. Anyway, I followed her husband into the room, and introduced myself and told her I would help her to the bathroom:
Woman: "I'm glad someone finally came. I can't believe it took so long."
Me: "I'm sorry you had to wait. Everyone is busy right now, but I'm here, so I can help."
Woman. "Someone should have come a lot sooner. I waited and waited."
Me: "I'm sorry. We didn't mean to make you wait. But I'm here now, so we can get you taken care of."
Woman: "You shouldn't have made me wait. I had to pee and y'all ignored me."
Me(starting to get frustrated):"I'm really sorry. There's something going on in one of the other rooms that needed everyone's attention right away. We didn't meant to ignore you. But I'm here and I can help you go to the bathroom."
Woman: "I just can't believe you made me wait."
Me(in a strained voice): "Ma'am, there's a woman down the hall whose heart has stopped beating. Everyone is in her room trying to save her, and that's why noone came at first. But let me help you now. I'm here now and you can go to the bathroom."
I turned around to get her IV bag, and heard her say, "It's because I'm black." And I turned and stared.
I wish, to this day, I had said something. Something, anything at all. "Yes, it's because you're black. It has nothing to do with a little old lady dying next door because her heart has stopped. No, we didn't come right away to take you to the bathroom, which you could have very well done by yourself, because of the color of your skin."
But I was , literally, speechless. I have never, in my entire life, been so angry. I gaped at her, unable to speak, to think, to breathe. And then I walked away. Because if I'd waited one more minute, I would have hit her.
This pt should get self-esteem lessons so she feels better about her race. She has one Hell of a chip on her shoulder...and she has no business taking that out on other people. You should have said, "Yes, ma'am, it is your race!" Would have shut her right up...and deservedly so.
Ok, so maybe I'll come to understand this when I'm a nurse, but wouldn't it be real easy when the person walks up to say, "Give me a second to finish this real quick" or "I'll be with you in just a moment" or "what room is your mother in? I'll have someone bring that in just a moment". There are polite ways to tell someone you cannot help them right away, and at the same time, you could say "if your mother needs anything else, just have her press the call button and we'll be happy to help". I would have understood PERFECTLY if any of the nurses ever said that it would make things easier on them if we pushed the button, or explained that it makes things more difficult on them when someone comes to the desk. But, I never had a single one do that. They were always pleasant, and I waited when I needed to, it was no big deal. As someone else said, we just want to help, and you could let us know how else we could help.
Like it or not, a hospital is a business as well. Your patients and their visitors are still CUSTOMERS, and a little customer service goes a LONG way. I have worked in customer service for 15 years, so maybe this is why I feel this way, but it's true. Sure the hospitals want to help people get well, but in the long run they are in it for the money just like everyone else.
CUSTOMERS???!!! Start PAYING for more nursing staff! It's people like you who DEMAND everything, yet you moan and complain about the cost of HC. If you think it's expensive now, do you have any idea how much MORE it would cost you if hospitals hired more staff?? Until you are willing to put your money where your mouth is, quit whining!
. shame on me...lol
ktwlpn, LPN
3,844 Posts
I worked in a small community hospital that was basically a big med-surg floor.We often had children on the unit. I had a teenage prima donna who was post -op for something or other and had an n/g to wall suction.Mind you,the cannister was above and behind the head of the bed.She and her mother demanded repeatedly that we keep the cannister covered with a pillow case because "the sight of it made them both sick" My co-worker informed them that this would be impossible because we needed to assess the contents of the cannister frequently and 'If it gets blocked she could explode" I had to run from that room...
I had a teenager with divorcing parents, an aunt RN in the OR and nothing much wrong with him except the ability to manipulate the entire DYSFUNCTIONAL family. He had complained of intermittent pain that seemed to move from location to location...Finally had a knee scoped-nothing going on there. He was on so much codeine that he ended up on our unit with CONSTIPATION. I'll never forget the spectacle the entire clan put on in the middle of the nurse's station on a Sunday morning (since the aunt worked in the OR she assumed she didn't have any boundaries) Anyway-guess who drew the short straw and got to deliver the SSE? Yep-yours truly. The brat REFUSED to get up to the commode-I'll never forget the mess he made laying over sideways on the bedpan waving toilet tissues in his outstretched hand crying " I can't do it-I can't see" I said " Your butt is in the same place it's been since the day you were born-NOW WIPE IT!" Crap dripping down the side of the bed-his family wringing their hands in the hallway. His aunt barged in and said "O hunny,I'll take care of you" I threw her out of the room after I told her she was a BIG part of his problem. I would love to know what really went on in that family behind closed doors-it was a weird situation. What normal male 15 yr old wants his aunt (or anyone for that matter?) to wipe his hiney?.I was surprised I didn't end up in the office over that....