any thoughts?

antona · Jun 15, 2006

If I were you I would not look for another job. You will get by. Let your husband worry about the bills since it seems he's not going to be worrying about anything else. Get loans if you have to to pay for school and books, you are responsible for paying them back, not your husband. You can not do it all. Let your son and schooling be number one. You'll have to let some of the chores fall a little behind. It will be hard with an unsupportive and a non understanding husband. You need to decide now if you are willing to put up the fight and show him this is what you are going to do. The only way I would have a job during school is if they let you sit at work and study and do homework. Not many jobs like that. Good Luck! Remember to be prayerful!

ear · Jun 15, 2006

LOLOL My hubby has eaten plenty of hamburger helper (do you know they make a "healthy" hamb. help????) he didnt realize what exactly nsg school entails (then again, neither did I before I started)

Anyway, have you checked out working at a hospital while you are in school?? lots of hospitals have money for nsg students in excgange for work. Many hospital have money for tuition reimbursement, and other programs. Lots of times you can work part time too.

I Have worked full time so far, and I am goin into semester 4 of 4. It has been really hard, and sometimes I just dont have it in me. I have fallen alseep on the couch at 5 in the afternoon on Friday after a really intense week. (if , of course, I have not had to be at school in the lab)

My house is gross, but I am sure with a little coaxing, hubby may be able to pick up some of that..... also, if you are working part time, you may be able to budget some of your funds into a cleaning lady....

It is intense, and it would be nice to have hubbys support. but, where there is a will, there is a way....

do you have family close by? will they help with your son? the more suport you have the better, but like I said, if you really want this, you can do it~!!

Best of luck to you!!

~ear

ms mimi · Jun 15, 2006

i am a single mom that lives off student loans and grants to pay for school, bills, kid. i am the only one around to cook, clean, shop, and parent. of course you can do it, your hubby will just have to be a man and step up to the plate for a couple of years, and if he doesnt then he will have to live in a dirty house and eat hamburger helper for awhile. and once he gets tired of that he will come around. it wont be easy but if you really want to do it than put one foot in front of the other and take that first step.

NebbyLPN · Jun 15, 2006

I'm sorry if this is not what everyone else is saying, but your husband has already proven once (when you worked nights) that he wasn't willing to help out. What makes you think he's going to change? I think that the fact that you are even asking for advice is an indication that you know what is coming. Going to school is going to put a lot of stress on your marriage. The question is how much more will it stand? Women are notorious for being emotional and hoping that things will work out and not seeing things in a rational way. Nursing school will change you. You will grow in many ways. If the stress of school drives your husband to be abusive will you stand there, take the abuse from him and let your children watch this going on? I think you really need to give some thought to that.

Sillynicunurse · Jun 15, 2006

I have a full time job and also have a part time job. My husband is very supportive but since he also works 80 hrs a week we have learned in the past three semesters that we will not perish if we get our laundry out of the basket instead of a drawer, it is ok to use the clean dishes out of the diswasher if there is no time to put them away, and lastly that dust bunnies don't bite:idea:

We don't fight about the house not being neat as a pin and I have found that I really don't care if someone doesn't like the way my house looks if they want it to look different they are welcome to clean it themselves!

hopefulstudent06 · Jun 16, 2006

I know that he will not change. I have come to terms with that. I know that if I want something done I have to do it myself. He was ever to become abusive, I would be out the door with my son in an instant. My mother was in an abusive relationship with my father for years. I know what it is like to witness that and will not put my son through that. I don't think he would ever get to that point (lets all hope). I know that I will change. I already have. I have been doing all of this by myself for so long I am used to it. I just need to learn some time management. I cannot study when the house is a mess, so I cannot just let it slide (even a little bit). I want my marriage to work out, so I am hopeful of that. Maybe he will see how I need help when I am in NS. He probably won't but that is something that I will work out along the way. Thank you for your advice.

Soon2BNurse · Jun 16, 2006

I can definitely relate and was wondering the same thing myself. In my situation I will be going into an LVN program full time, and I have 2 kids (besides my husband...lol), but everything else is the same.

hopefulstudent06 · Jun 17, 2006

I can definitely relate and was wondering the same thing myself. In my situation I will be going into an LVN program full time, and I have 2 kids (besides my husband...lol), but everything else is the same.

I wish I knew what to say. Maybe we should go on strike. I would if it wasn't for my son. I did a few years ago before my son was born but could only live with the filth for about 2 days. We had a "talk" today. He said something along the lines of "I understand how stressful it will be blah, blah, blah." :banghead: Same darn thing over and over again. I am trying to get as much stuff done during the summer. Kinda trying to get rid of a bunch of stuff and make the house a little less cluttered. Trying to get more organized and all of that stuff. Maybe it will be a little more easy to handle if there was not so much to do around the house. I hope things work out with your situation. Good luck in school.

soundasleep · Jun 17, 2006

Going to nursing school is a pretty hard thing to do.

Working while in school may help you have the dough to pay the bills now but it may also purchase you lousy grades.

would you want a nurse taking care of your son that graduated from nursing school and was well versed and knowledgeable about their field or would you want a nurse that graduated from nursing school by a miracle because they were too pooped to really learn or absorb anything.

i am using loans to afford the cost of living and tuition.

i have to admit, being in debt does bother me. but i am always applying for scholarships with hospitals, fastweb, and other outlets.

i wish u the best!!

PS. hamburger helper is not an empty nutrient. it has protein, carbs(food for the brain), and other things that are good for a healthy family with a growing boy. also, if you or your husband's family is near by, ask them if you can schedule time slots in advance where they can watch your son so you can go to class and have plenty of time to study.

LaurynRN · Jun 17, 2006

I remember what it was like. Things were very different for me because I started having children very early so all I knew was full time work and full time school. When I first started school I worked full time as a waitress because the money was good and the hours were flexible. We fought about housework but basically it had to be divided because I was still "pulling my weight" with money (that was my defense).

Once I finished my first year I took my LPN boards and then worked as an LPN on weekends...16 hour shifts Sat and Sun...then school all week to finish the last year (RN). It was horrible and I never had a day off. Hubby whined and complained....I did laundry and cleaned when I had time.

What I can tell you is that it is possible to do it all...it isn't easy and it isn't for everyone. I also had two children and gave birth to my third two days before graduating (and yes I went to graduation!!). My grades didn't suffer, I just worked hard.

Of course I was envious of others who didn't have to work and for all the girls who didn't have the distraction of children or cleaning but I did what I had to do. Keep your eye on the prize and lay down the law with your hubby.

To this day as I continue my education my husband and I still argue about who is doing what around the house!! That will never change.

If you can't study when the house is messy...then leave the house :)

It sounds like you are preparing the best you can for school to start. Only you will figure out what will work for you and your husband. Go with your gut and you can't go wrong.

soundasleep · Jun 17, 2006

I really don't care if someone doesn't like the way my house looks if they want it to look different they are welcome to clean it themselves!

:yeah: :yeah: :yeah: :yeah: :yeah:

well put!!!!!!!