This week, I have learned..... (6/13)

[ixchel]

1. That I can get sucked into this place for entire days at a time when I'm sick, off, and in an empty, quiet house.

2. When I have an electrolyte imbalance, my heart goes into trigeminy and I have seizures (not scary tonic clonic ones, so not as scary as that sounds).

3. Throwing up a potato when you are dehydrated is seriously horrible.

4. Wounds can smell THAT bad.

5. Then the next day they can smell worse.

You?

[WellThatsOod]

I'm a psychotic bookworm.

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

I'm a psychotic bookworm.

Bookworm, I can tell.

Psychotic, nah.

[WellThatsOod]

This week, I learned that apparently all of the classes I took to become an RN are "bogus", and that somewhere in Britain, you can become a nurse by doing on the job training for a couple years.

No more of this education nonsense...lol

I just saw this thread. What in the world is going on around here.

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

I just saw this thread. What in the world is going on around here.

Lol! Between that thread & the 'I am a sexless nurse' thread. There must be something in the air!

[WellThatsOod]

That whole thing is a train wreck.

[calivianya, BSN, RN]

...Just learned that I REALLY can't stand working in a combined ICU/stepdown environment. The patients are too awake, too needy, and too crazy. I love my coworkers at my PRN job but the patients I saw while orienting this week were 99% total hot messes detoxing, on suicide precautions, and/or just straight up psychotic.

"When am I scheduled for my C-section?"

"You're not having a C-section; that's only for pregnant women."

"I'M NOT PREGNANT?!?! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BABY?!?!"

*insert patient sobbing uncontrollably with tears running down her face*

"You weren't ever pregnant in the first place."

"I've never had a baby with a man."

*insert patient laughing uncontrollably with a huge smile on her face*

"Then why did you think you were pregnant?"

"YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

*insert tears running down the patient's face*

What the mess. I have learned that it's pointless trying to engage in logical discussion with the really psychotic ones... you'll just make things worse.

[WellThatsOod]

Yay so much fun

[malamud69, BSN, RN]

...that we still are arguing about contraception and smoking pot in this country and not to expect much from your average human...

[WellThatsOod]

I just learned that pot thread is also from my least favorite Kiwi.

Something is wrong with this.

[FurBabyMom, MSN, RN]

...Just learned that I REALLY can't stand working in a combined ICU/stepdown environment. The patients are too awake, too needy, and too crazy. I love my coworkers at my PRN job but the patients I saw while orienting this week were 99% total hot messes detoxing, on suicide precautions, and/or just straight up psychotic.

"When am I scheduled for my C-section?"

"You're not having a C-section; that's only for pregnant women."

"I'M NOT PREGNANT?!?! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BABY?!?!"

*insert patient sobbing uncontrollably with tears running down her face*

"You weren't ever pregnant in the first place."

"I've never had a baby with a man."

*insert patient laughing uncontrollably with a huge smile on her face*

"Then why did you think you were pregnant?"

"YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

*insert tears running down the patient's face*

What the mess. I have learned that it's pointless trying to engage in logical discussion with the really psychotic ones... you'll just make things worse.

Hehe. This reminds me of trying to re-orient dementia patients when I worked neuro stepdown/med-surg.

Patient A was convinced she was going to be late for her second cousins' nieces' daughters' wedding. I gave up trying to orient her - I just told her everyone else was not here yet and would she mind helping me folding napkins? (I gave her a stack of washcloths, towels and pillow cases). Patient totally bought it and stayed in bed all night...I kept taking the "finished" pile and bringing back "New" and "more" that I needed help with.

Or the confused demented old man who was awful spitting mean when he wanted to be. Also happened to be post burr holes for drainage of subdural hematoma. After many many days/nights trying to keep the patient safe, we resorted to asking for a net bed. Kept the patient safe at least... But then he was confused and convinced that we were on a farm, with cows on the roof, and we needed to count the cows. One of our hospitalists didn't believe we had a patient in a "big boy pack and play" - so he peeked in the room to see, and engaged the patient in a discussion about the cows on the roof. Told the patient his count was off by about three that were hiding... It was SO funny...

[sistrmoon, BSN, RN]

Lol! Between that thread & the 'I am a sexless nurse' thread. There must be something in the air!

Off to go find that thread now....