Thinking I made the wrong decision....

Lurksalot, BSN, RN · Apr 2, 2006

Megan, you CAN do this!:icon_hug:

Yes, it is rough, but do-able. Let me ask you this, what about your kids chipping in to help you out with laundry and chores like that? And keeping their rooms tiday and picking up after themselves, saving you the everyday cleaning stuff and helping you out that way? I know how hard it is to feel like you are missing time with your kids, my daughter is 4 now and I feel like I never have time to put down the books. I found that it has helped that when I do spend time with my daughter, it is all about her. I put down the books, I try not to think about school, even if it is just 30 minutes sitting on the floor playing hungry hungry hippo. And I know you probably already have thought of this, but I also tried getting up a little earlier than my family to get some studying in before the day starts--but not too much to hurt my sleep.

I talked to my husband and daughter and explained that it is very difficult not to be there at everyone's beck and call, and that nursing school is something I HAVE to make the time for. Not just for me (well, mostly for ME) but for my family as well. They will all benefit in the future from me working, and we can all work together to help each other reach our goals.

Anyway, my point is, I hear you. Wish I could give you a hug. There were lots of days I felt like it wasn't worth the time away from my family, but looking back now I can see it has made us all better family members, and we've all learning to work together and give a little to help each other out.

Now I am getting off the PC and going to the park!

SummerGarden, BSN, MSN, RN · Apr 2, 2006

Hello everyone,
I feel so stupid, if i quit this (or fail out of it!) then everyone will look at me like i am a loser, i quit a full time job to start this and argued my way through everyone who questioned it, and now this. I am just so tired and I dont know, i guess i want everything that i dont have.
Megan

In my opinion, I do not think that people who try and fail are Losers. I have read that many successful people try to do things (careers or whatever) and fail. The difference between them and others is the fact that they try, fail, learn from his/her mistake, and move on to work hard at the next task. In some cases that means to try something else. But in all cases, they have succeeded in having tried in the first place.

By the way, just because Nursing may not be for you right now or even in the future does not mean you made a mistake. How else would you have known?

The people who told not to try were foolish to have had an opinion without having facts to back them up. You tried and you actually know why you should stick it out or why you should do something else.

So do not worry about any one who has a negative opinion about what you should choose to do without any facts! You are the only one whom can live your life and thus, you are the only one to make the right decision. Good luck to you in your choice.

Angels' · Apr 2, 2006

Right on. You all have said it just right.

I've needed to hear/read this too.

Angels'

stpauligirl · Apr 3, 2006

Hello everyone,
I am in my second semester of pre-req's and i am having such a hard time! I am failing math, pulling a C in A&P1 and i have like 4 more years to go, I dont know what i was thinking!
I have 2 kids (11 and 5) who do a bunch of activities, and i HAVE to work. The things that everyone else says they neglect to get through school, i just cant. I have to clean my house, i have to keep up with laundry (my kids wear uniforms to school). i dont want to have them quit their activities so i can do more school work. my son is 11 he will be about 16 when i am finally done with school. he will be almost grown by then! I was studying for a test at my daughters gymnastics class and missed her first perfect cartwheel! Its just that all these things are important and there is only one of me and i cant give 100% to everything!
And i am just really starting to rethink this, i want to do ob/gyn and not even really in a hospital, but in a city clinic where i can really talk with and help out the girls who need it. and i keep thinking that if i get stuck in med-surg while working my way up....ugh!
I feel so stupid, if i quit this (or fail out of it!) then everyone will look at me like i am a loser, i quit a full time job to start this and argued my way through everyone who questioned it, and now this. I am just so tired and I dont know, i guess i want everything that i dont have.
Thanks for letting me ramble and complain.
Megan

I know everyone wants everything fast....but since top grades are necessary try cutting the # of credit hours...it may take longer but you will have a better chance of getting there at all. Getting into nursing program with family and working takes "Tactical patience"

good luck

smk1, LPN · Apr 3, 2006

if you must work, then you may need to cut your credit hours. Not enough time in the day for all hat you are doing. Also your 5 year can start learning to clean. ( i have one myself). Mine gets 1 dollar per week for keeping her room clean (or at least having it cleaned by friday morning) , she also can earn a quarter or so for each assigned task above and beyond that. She helps me sort laundry and pick up papers and other trash from all areas of the house and other minor, yet time consuming things. THe 11 year old can learn to do laundry and dishes. By having the kids help you out around the house, you will save many valuable hours per week, also invest in a crockpot and look up a bunch of simple yet delicious recipes on the internet. This will save you time. Throw some things in the crockpot before you leave in the morning and it will be ready when you come home at night with minmal cleanup. Another option is to take a couple of hours one evening per week and cook up a huge batch of dinner type foods for the wek and then put them in tupperware and freeze them so you just have to defrost dinner during the week. Also buy paper plates and cups to cut down on dishes. Put lysol wipes and cleaners in your bathrooms so that you can easily take five minutes to wipe down the sinks/tubs and toilets after your shower in the morning (or however often you need to). The key is organization. Your kids MUST help or you won't make it. Also if you have a babysitter, take one day every coupld of weeks or every week if you can to pay them to watch you kids AWAY FROM YOU, so that you can get uninterrupted study time. YOU CAN NOT BE NEAR THEM FOR THIS TO WORK! go to the library or somewhere quiet. You can do this, but you have to committ totally to making it work. I am a big fan of lists. Make a list of all the things that have to be done for the week (chores and such) and figure out what the kids can help with and start a schedule.

smile123 · Apr 3, 2006

Hello everyone,
I am in my second semester of pre-req's and i am having such a hard time! I am failing math, pulling a C in A&P1 and i have like 4 more years to go, I dont know what i was thinking!
I have 2 kids (11 and 5) who do a bunch of activities, and i HAVE to work. The things that everyone else says they neglect to get through school, i just cant. I have to clean my house, i have to keep up with laundry (my kids wear uniforms to school). i dont want to have them quit their activities so i can do more school work. my son is 11 he will be about 16 when i am finally done with school. he will be almost grown by then! I was studying for a test at my daughters gymnastics class and missed her first perfect cartwheel! Its just that all these things are important and there is only one of me and i cant give 100% to everything!
And i am just really starting to rethink this, i want to do ob/gyn and not even really in a hospital, but in a city clinic where i can really talk with and help out the girls who need it. and i keep thinking that if i get stuck in med-surg while working my way up....ugh!
I feel so stupid, if i quit this (or fail out of it!) then everyone will look at me like i am a loser, i quit a full time job to start this and argued my way through everyone who questioned it, and now this. I am just so tired and I dont know, i guess i want everything that i dont have.
Thanks for letting me ramble and complain.
Megan

Hi Megan,

I agree with the previous posters. You need to help your kids help out. I was also wondering if there is a father figure around that can help you. Are there other people in your life that can help watch after the kids and give you the time you need to study? It's a time management issue - balancing school, your kids and your own sanity. I would say, take fewer classes at one time, so you can concentrate and learn the material. You need A's and B's, not C's to make the grade for nursing school (Yes, it's true - it's really competitive, so doing it right the first time instead of repeating classes will pay off in the long run). You can do it, but you have to start to believe in yourself and your ultimate goal of nursing. Good luck! We are here for you!

Smile123

LoriAlabamaRN · Apr 3, 2006

Megan,

If this is your dream, DO NOT turn away from it. When I was doing my prereqs, I felt so hopeless looking at the amount of schooling ahead of me, it was so overwhelming and I almost quit so many times. Then one day when I was finishing a quiz- just a quiz- it hit me. This was a quiz I never had to take again- I was one step closer.

I had it! I had found the magic key that would keep me going for the rest of my schooling. Each assignment, quiz, test was another step closer. Each one! No matter how many points it was worth, I was on my way. Every day I was closer to my dream than the day before.

I sure hope this helps you as much as it helped me- it gave me the strength I needed to make it through... and now I am an RN, and love being a nurse!!!

lisabeth · Apr 3, 2006

I'm kind of doing what stpaulie girl is doing. I have lots of other obligations too, so I am just taking 7 hours, but I have an A in both. I am praying I can get into the program next summer, but if not, I will start taking pre-requisites for the BSN program in case that works out in the future.

marilynmom, LPN, NP · Apr 3, 2006

You CAN do this. But it isn't easy as you can see. One thing most of us will tell you up front is don't take on more than you can chew. Excellent grades are usually a *must*, so if your only making C's you need to cut back and take less credit hours so you can get A's. You might think it will take longer than way but most likely it wont.....because your not going to have to go back and retake the classes to bring your GPA up (which I see a lot of people have to do--retake classes they made C's in to get A's). It's just the way it is.

My house is NEVER clean, laundry only happens on the weekends, dishes are always piled up, etc. Your kids are 11 and 5....they are going to have to pitch in, the 11 year old can do some laundry and housework (maybe give an allowance or something to help with motivation....my 8 yr old does a lot and gets $3 week which she puts $1-2 in her bank account and spends the rest) so your not so stressed with working and school. My kids have one activity each, for now that is just the way it's going to have to be. Your right, you can't give 100% to everything. Take it easy, maybe just take one class never semester--you'll probably feel better and do better and not be so stressed.

You CAN do this!!!

jjjoy, LPN · Apr 3, 2006

In my opinion, I do not think that people who try and fail are Losers. I have read that many successful people try to do things (careers or whatever) and fail. The difference between them and others is the fact that they try, fail, learn from his/her mistake, and move on to work hard at the next task. In some cases that means to try something else. But in all cases, they have succeeded in having tried in the first place.
By the way, just because Nursing may not be for you right now or even in the future does not mean you made a mistake. How else would you have known?
The people who told not to try were foolish to have had an opinion without having facts to back them up. You tried and you actually know why you should stick it out or why you should do something else.
So do not worry about any one who has a negative opinion about what you should choose to do without any facts! You are the only one whom can live your life and thus, you are the only one to make the right decision. Good luck to you in your choice.

I agree. And appreciate the reminder! Some of us need encouragement to keep going when it's tough and others need encouragement to make a change. Ultimately, the individual has to decide what's best for them, doing the best they can with the information and experience they have at any one point in time.

To the OP, if you haven't already considered/done this, go to/call several different family planning/women's health clinics and find out what different job roles there are, what they pay approximately, what kind of training they need, etc. It might help solidify your decision to pursue NP studies and give you the motivation to make it work. Or you might find another direction or at least get more info to help find peace of mind over your future plans at this point. Even if you've already done this kind of research, it might be useful to do it again now that you have more information and experience. Some things we just can't know until we know. Good luck!

:kiss

Pookybean · Apr 4, 2006

Thanks everyone for the advice. My kids do help out, a lot. My son cleans the bathroom and vaccumes (i will not however let him do the dishes or laundry....those are the 2 things that need to be done right the first time!) I find its just the day to day things that get hard. Like going through backpacks and checking/signing for homework. My DH is NOT supportive of this so i only get the minimal help from him. And he is currently in management training with his job so he floats to different locations which means he doesnt have a set scheduale and has to fight to get off the nites that i have to work, because i have to work some nites now that i am going to school. And if i tried to pull out the books after the kids are in bed with him home....i would probably get more studying done with the kids!

And this semester i am only taking the 2 classes, that is the least i can take to keep my financial aid. if i only took one i would have to pay for it out of pocket which i can not afford. Its just so much, both my math class and A&P, we have no homework that counts toward grades, so it is all on tests and in math we get quizzes too, and i am having such a hard time memorizing everything.

I do like the idea of calling around to the different clinics and seeing what they have to offer and what kind of education i need, i have been thinking that maybe something like social work would be better for me. the more i get into anatomy, the more i think that maybe i am more into the mental than physical side of things. Oh well, only a month and a half more of this sememster to go.

Thank you all again, so much!

Megan