Things you'd LOVE to tell coworkers...and get away with it!

Nurses Relations

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Please don't label this thread "negative". It is meant to be fun.

Your scrubs are ugly.

I don't think you are "cute" when you get all googley-eyed and giggly around the young docs. I think it makes nurses look bad.

I cannot BELIEVE you were nominated for A Daisy Award! Did you nominate yourself?

It's called deodorant, use it.

Do your own assessment and stop badgering me for every single detail during report.

I swear I am going to put Ex Lax all over my lunch so the next time someone calls out for the runs, I will know it is you who keeps stealing my food!

Yes, my stethoscope is nice and it was expensive. Buy your own.

No time to help me turn my patient, huh? Yet, every time you need help, I have been there for you.

Your situational awareness sucks. While you are browsing the latest deals on the internet, I am drowning. Look around and help out your coworkers.

I'm happy you look rested and ready for your shift. Next time get here 15 minutes earlier so I can leave on time and be rested and ready for you.

No, you don't ALWAYS get the crappy assignment. I don't think you'd be happy with ANY assignment.

If you're sooooo sick of this place- leave.

Everybody who reoprts off to me will now make rounds with me at shift change due to the 5 infiltrated IV;s and the one nearly dead pt I found on my rounds last week!

If I see ANYBODY looking at a smart phone on duty while there is ONE call light blinking, they will be reported immediately!

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Specializes in Cardiology, Oncology, Hospice,IV Therapy.

Please if you are going to take a morning crap (in the only single bathroom that we all have to share), spray some deodorizer- or go down one floor to use the bathroom with several stalls.

Amen!!!!:yeah:

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Specializes in PACU, OR.
Thanks for not noticing that there's a dead guy in that bed.

Yup, happened to me yesterday. Midnight shift went home and we found him while passing breakfast trays. He'd been deceased at least 4 hrs.

Ouch! Thought that only happened in our State hospitals!

Stop eating my food , drinking my sodas ,

And may I add to that, PLEASE stop stealing my plastic food containers! By this time it must be practically impossible for you to open your kitchen cupboard for all the Tupperware you've pinched over the years! If I ever catch you at it I swear I will report you! To the police!

Please if you are going to take a morning crap (in the only single bathroom that we all have to share), spray some deodorizer- or go down one floor to use the bathroom with several stalls.

You know, I try not to get mad when someone does this; after all what doesn't pay rent needs to get out. So to my employers: Kindly stop being so ******* cheapskate and put a proper ventilation system in our toilets! With air freshener that doesn't make it smell worse! Are you SO dumb that you don't realize this can be smelt as far as the tearooms?

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Why don't you just **** and work?

I am soooo not interested in your gossip/melodramatics.

Here's a dime. Call someone who cares.

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There is nothing fun about anything that is posted above. It's mean. Hateful. Some things we think should never be given a voice. It's called discretion.

I wouldn't say it even if I could get away with it.

Surely you don't think they're all mean, do you? What's mean about wishing your fellow nurses (who you've helped in the past) would help you every so often when you need it? Or wishing nurses wouldn't flirt with young doctors? Or wishing coworkers wouldn't eat your lunch?

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Specializes in PACU, OR.
Surely you don't think they're all mean, do you? What's mean about wishing your fellow nurses (who you've helped in the past) would help you every so often when you need it? Or wishing nurses wouldn't flirt with young doctors? Or wishing coworkers wouldn't eat your lunch?

Heh heh, I think iimintrouble has given up on us "blue meanies", she hasn't posted since page 6.

But Imintrouble, sweetie, if you are still out there, all you're reading here are the things that we'd love to SCREAM out-at that instant, in the heat of the moment-but can't. For whatever reason, whether because we have no proof as to who is guilty, or because the problem is too general to single out a particular person, or because it would be just downright unkind to actually say what flashes through our minds at that moment, or too unprofessional to say it other than politely!

So we yell it out here, on an anonymous forum, so we can vent away, then sit back and laugh about it, or at the hilarious comments posted by other members! This is as wonderfully cathartic as the thread about "things you'd love to tell your patients".

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Thanks, GH. I very much agree.

To some CNAs:

(I'm planning to voice this one next time I witness it, actually.)

Mrs. Smith is 79, prone to episodes of confusion, and understands/speaks only English, so please try to refrain from speaking and giggling in Spanish (or any other language the pt doesn't speak) as you and your friend tend to her and her room. Don't you notice the shamed expression on her face?

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Specializes in Emergency/Trauma.

Nursing is going to be my 3rd career, so I've done a fair amount of time in the workforce. I can safely say that there isn't a single sentiment expressed here that I haven't heard in the break room, around the water cooler, or via e-mail at any of my other jobs. The words and situations are different, but the sentiments exactly the same.

So for those of you out there who think that it's "unbecoming" or "hateful" for nurses to express their frustrations here I'd like to ask you why you think we are somehow more saintly or less human than anyone else out there toiling in the workforce?

Reading this thread (and others on AllNurses) has convinced me that I'm going to fit into this profession just fine. :bugeyes:

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Specializes in Med-Surg, ICU.

-"No, the patient's IV pump beeping is NOT my priority right now."

-"Our patient's aren't getting turned, their vitals aren't taken, and their sugars aren't checked because you're off in the visitor's waiting area watching soaps with your feet propped up for the third time today"

-"Quit asking me to give a super-detailed report when I've been busting my butt for 12 hours, and then not give me the same courtesy at the end of your shift!"

-"I've never met a meaner person in my life. And stop giving me crap when I ask you to please enter orders because that is your job. I've never been rude about asking. The least you could do is not glare at me."

-"Please check your blood sugars when you get your vitals. You say you never check them because you don't have time. Well you have enough time to surf the internet for most of the shift while we run around like crazy."

- "You walk slower then any person I've ever met. I think you do it on purpose so that we get annoyed and just do your job for you instead of waiting for you to finally get there to help."

-"Please get rid of the lazy people on this floor and stop wasting payroll." :D kthx

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Specializes in MDS RNAC, LTC, Psych, LTAC.

I am new at this job can you explain how things are done here instead of you didnt do that right.

If you dont agree with what the doc did for a patient after I called him when you on your shift wouldnt call him and ask him why he changed her medication after my assessment. I dont have a link to a doc's brain and my ego about things doesnt go into what i do for my patients. Their condition does.

Say thank you once in a while. I do to my CNAs every shift and I wish nurses did it with each other.

If I am new dont stand around and talk right in front of me and not include me in the conversation even though you are on the clock talking about your husband and kids when you should be setting up your medication line. (corrections nursing )

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Specializes in Care Coordination, MDS, med-surg, Peds.

humm.....-

-Just because I get my assessments done and charted in the computer while you are bsing with your buds doean't mean that i should stay late to help you "catch up". However, if you are behind because pt's crashed, etc., you will find me first in line to help.

-ok, you may have a more advanced RN degree than I, but even I know that STAT to ICU does't mean 45 minutes later while you try to figure out how to write the order!!!(really happened, 2 nurses took 45 min to send med surg pt to ICU while they tried to figure out correct wording for order!!!!!)

-OK, if I hear one more LPN, or RN say, " I didn't go to school to wipe butts" I am gonna beat you with a bed pan!

-Mr Dr....yes, you are a Dr., but a 15 minutes lecture on the evils of drinking doesn't tell me what you want done for your pt who is vomiting blood clots and frank blood all over his room.

-CNA, NAs, LPN... God Love you and bless you and Thank you for the multiple times you have saved my butt when I was a CNA or LPN or RN!! Can't get my job done without your help, knowledge and wonderful patient care. You are the BEST!!!!!! Don't pay attention to the stupid licensed nurse that dismisses you, CNA or LPN, as being "lower" than they are. THEY are the dumb ones to not realize the true gem you are!!!!

-To the truely negative staff...please do us all a favor and go to work somewhere where you don't have to interact with others, you have NO interpersonal skills, are a bore and I am tired of your whinning. We all have bad days and problems at home, it ain't a contest to over whine the others.

-However, if you have a need to vent to me personally, I will listen, give u a hug or a kleenex and will almost certainly need your shoulder at a later time to cry on.

-above all, thank you for helping me when I need it.................

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Specializes in Post-Op, Med/Surg, Skilled Nursing, Vent.

Why do I have to be the one to hold the new resident's hand and tell him/her how things work here? Any other time you are willing to tell people what to do.

Would you please stop bragging about how good you are at X all nurses are better at some things than others that is why we need teamwork.

Don't even tell me your fingers are too short to do that!

I know darn well you have done X before so don't ask me to show you how to do it just because you don't want to do it yourself.

Sure why don't you go to break and eat. No one else is caught up, gone to the bathroom or ate but you go ahead.

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