The Unbelievable things our Pts DO..It is true

Nurses Humor

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i was at a work a few weeks ago, and i was helping a cna with one of her pt (not mine) ...the pt had just been admitted that day but she was a pt i had for 3 months last yr when i was working full time...so whether she realized it or not...i knew how to handle her:rolleyes: ..we were turning her and i heard the cna mumble something...to me it sounded like "her teeth are in her ass". now i'm sitting there thinking "is this cna crazy". i figure maybe the lady had hemorrhoids or something and she had never seen them before and were mistaken them for teeth. then i saw the cna reach down and retrieve an upper or lower (i didn't inspect them real good...lol) from between this pt legs. later i found out that the denture was actually in her lady parts. we aren't quite how they got there or how long they had been there, the pt had been on morphine at the hospital so i figured maybe she thought someone was gonna still them so she hid them. they had been them a bit tho becuz she had a nice discharge to go along with them. anyways when i saw the pt's nurse. she was an agency nurse so she didn't know the ropes real well i joked with her and told her..."hey what are you doing to ur pts down there...when you admitted your pt did you not stick ur hand up in their lady parts to make sure their dentures weren't there" i told her "hey don't you know we have an area on our admission papers that said "are pt dentures in her lady parts" and we are suppose to check yes or no. it was so damn funny. the rest i the night all i could do was joke about it. then the cna said a little later "guess that the real meaning of getting eat out" later when we notified the charge nurse she said she was gonna tell the oncoming shift that if her dentures go missing her lady parts is the first place they need to look.

this is by for the funniest thing that has ever happen to me. but i'm sure my patients will soon remedy that...they always do.

about the worst i seen lately was part of an egg sandwich in a mans dirty excoriated groin. His scrotum was the size of a coconut so I guess Im lucky i didn't find a cup of coffee there also ....ugh, what a job...lol

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Eeewww! Yuck!!

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Specializes in medical with other stuff chucked in!.
It wasn't the DX that was wierd for me but the TX.

I was on my med-surg rotation in school and had to give the worst "med" ever.

This patient had come to the ED, presented with pnuemonia and was started on ABX. The treating resident did not take into account her renal failure of decreased liver function. She went to toxic levels of her ABX and it killed all and I mean all of her natural flora in her intestines. She was being treated after a long search for a donor, a stool donor.

I went into the room with 300cc liquified stool and proceeded to put it down her NG tube. This was of course after reading the order multiple times. I new it was not a joke when the "Med" was sent up to the floor followed by the MD, who explained to the nurses then to the pt what was about to be done.

I also had a post-op pt that had an 8inch vibrator removed from transverse colon. It had sort of climed it's way up. Surgean said it was still giong when removed...I have never thought of the energizer bunny in the same light since.

:roll :eek: :roll

peter

EEEWWWWW!!! where did you get the liquid poo from? yuk:eek: :confused: .

Emma

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EEEWWWWW!!! where did you get the liquid poo from? yuk:eek: :confused: .

Emma

The blender it seems! It puts a whole new slant on home made milk shakes and baby food. EEEEWWWWWWW !:chuckle:chuckle

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Actually this thread causes me to remember one of my earlier jobs in a Canadian Provincial Mental Hospital. We had a trophy room and in it were the various and sundry doo-dads that had been removed from our patients innards.

1) The Workers comp pencil with a slogan on it that said "accidents don't happen" removed from the tear duct of a patient on constant obs.

2) The intact rose removed from a lady parts.

3) The many miles of barbed wire removed from the stomachs of many patients

4) The stubby beer bottle from a rectum, the regular beer bottle froma lady parts

5) Razor blades, knives, spoons, teacups, plastic wrap, you name it removed from stomachs

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Some people just don't have common sense do they? Some could be really rich if they could find a way to sell it, or train it.

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Specializes in Mostly LTC, some acute and some ER,.

I was giving a resident a shower and she pooped . . . but instead of the usual plop . . . it was a plink! I looked down, and there was a KEY in the bowel movement. Ibrought it to the charge nurse . . . and said . . . "lost any keys?"

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Actually this thread causes me to remember one of my earlier jobs in a Canadian Provincial Mental Hospital. We had a trophy room and in it were the various and sundry doo-dads that had been removed from our patients innards.

1) The Workers comp pencil with a slogan on it that said "accidents don't happen" removed from the tear duct of a patient on constant obs.

2) The intact rose removed from a lady parts.

3) The many miles of barbed wire removed from the stomachs of many patients

4) The stubby beer bottle from a rectum, the regular beer bottle froma lady parts

5) Razor blades, knives, spoons, teacups, plastic wrap, you name it removed from stomachs

How on earth can you swallow a teacup? Seriously! :uhoh21:

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How on earth can you swallow a teacup? Seriously! :uhoh21:

I'm only the reporter of the contents of the trophy room m'love. Never tried a teacup myself. I can't say there's anything on that menu that appeals to me. :chuckle

Pat

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I was giving a resident a shower and she pooped . . . but instead of the usual plop . . . it was a plink! I looked down, and there was a KEY in the bowel movement. Ibrought it to the charge nurse . . . and said . . . "lost any keys?"

So THAT'S what happened to the narc keys! :rotfl:

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Once had an AIDS patient brought in painted from head to foot in red paint. When asked why, he said, "Because I was tired of feeling blue." Poor guy; was diagnosed with HIV in the mid 80's and although physically he seemed quite healthy, I fear there was a touch of dementia after all that time.

Alison, RN

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Specializes in medical with other stuff chucked in!.
Once had an AIDS patient brought in painted from head to foot in red paint. When asked why, he said, "Because I was tired of feeling blue." Poor guy; was diagnosed with HIV in the mid 80's and although physically he seemed quite healthy, I fear there was a touch of dementia after all that time.

Alison, RN

Oh, bless his heart!!!! This is quite a touching and deep story when you think about it, what was going through his mind for him to do that????

Emma

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