So I had a thread on here talking about the taking of 'massage devices' from female residents before I started working at my facilty...I found it to be stealing, and inhumane!
Well...since I made it clear that I am all for sexual health of concenting aged adults, that practice is not even walked on! (IE the removal of any personal massage devices from rooms, unless medically contraindicated by an MD!)
So the Admin threw me a doozie today! I have a patient, cancer of the cervix, lady parts, and privy parts! Most of the tissues were removed, the privy parts totally removed.
They found that she was using a rather large massage aid to achieve sexual health..and it was hurting her. But despite the hurt...she continued to use said device nightly.
Now, I am not a 'device' salesperson...so I can't really tell her the type more appropriate for her anatomy...but I did suggest sufficient lubrication and got an MD order for said lubrication! The admin was shocked! But the patient was very very happy!!!!!! (and PRN pain meds too).
She told me that despite her cancer and "loosing my feminity at the highest level!!!" she wanted to experience the life she knows, and since she doesn't have a 'partner' she would do it without no matter what we said!
Now, if I wasn't there advocating and giving nursing suggestions, she would damage herself, but I looked at it as "well if she is going to do this...lets lower the risk of harm". Very odd to my admin!
Question....now as I would never advice a 'device', can I advise a catalog where she may find a more appropriate massage device??? But those catalogs are..ummm...well...I thought of Adam and Eve? I don't know...not like there are too many medical or reg catalogs that...well you know!
Suggestions?????????? I am treading in the gray here, and really want to be a good nurse for her, but where does nursing and sexual subjects end/begin?????
Try Good Vibrations. It's based out of San Francisco, very female positive, not sleazy at all, big selection. They even have non-latex toys for the allergic.
to me that's comparable to saying, if she can eat it,then she can clean her own dishes.
No it isn't, Leslie. I've had many patients who could wash themselves just fine though it'd be ridiculous to insist they do their dishes. If this patient can wash her hands, if she can provide her own pericare, she can wash her device, too.
Maybe I should put it a different way: If she cannot clean it herself, how on earth is she going to use it?
The fact that she even wants to use one is proving more than just her sexuality, and I think it'd be wrong to try to take that last vestige of control away from her by washing the device for her. As the OP said, she's feeling robbed of her womanhood, and I don't believe she should be robbed of her means of sexuality too. Washing and caring for her device promotes privacy, independence and autonomy, in other words. So it's not cruel to let her take care of it as much as she possibly can.
And please remember, she never asked for any help in the first place. She has only made her wishes regarding her sexual life clear--she wants to handle it herself (no pun intended), and that's normal and healthy.
I mean, go ahead and disagree if you want. I have all the respect in the world for your opinions, Leslie. I just thought I'd clarify what I was thinking in my last post.
No it isn't, Leslie. I've had many patients who could wash themselves just fine though it'd be ridiculous to insist they do their dishes. If this patient can wash her hands, if she can provide her own pericare, she can wash her device, too.
Maybe I should put it a different way: If she cannot clean it herself, how on earth is she going to use it?
The fact that she even wants to use one is proving more than just her sexuality, and I think it'd be wrong to try to take that last vestige of control away from her by washing the device for her. As the OP said, she's feeling robbed of her womanhood, and I don't believe she should be robbed of her means of sexuality too. Washing and caring for her device promotes privacy, independence and autonomy, in other words. So it's not cruel to let her take care of it as much as she possibly can.
And please remember, she never asked for any help in the first place. She has only made her wishes regarding her sexual life clear--she wants to handle it herself (no pun intended), and that's normal and healthy.
I mean, go ahead and disagree if you want. I have all the respect in the world for your opinions, Leslie. I just thought I'd clarify what I was thinking in my last post.
Interesting question though, isn't it?
it's a difficult situation to assess because we don't know how incapacitated she is. IF she wants to clean the device herself, then of course she should be able to. but to read "if she can use it then she can clean it" sounded like both activities were comparable in physical exertion. in the former, she merely has to lay in bed; in the latter that would require alot more exertion. but again, if it's something she wants to do, then she should, but w/supervision if she's weak, unsteady, high risk for falling.
again, we do not know enough. but when we teach/encourage our pts to do their own adl's, we do so in preparation of discharge. this lady isn't going anywhere and i would never encourage self-care in a hospice environment unless they wanted to do so, or wanted to be left alone.
and i respect your opinions immensely too. :icon_hug:
I was thinking more along the lines of giving her a washbasin, if she's unable to get OOB, actually.
I think most sex educators recommend a more thorough cleaning than can be acheived in a washbasin. I used to work in HIV ed and we told people to put them in the dishwasher, but that was to prevent transmission of STDs. Presumably this woman would be using it alone, but it might still be good to find out how to clean it so she doesn't give herself a yeast or bacterial infection.
concern for your patients.
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UM Review RN, ASN, RN
1 Article; 5,163 Posts
Honey, if she can use it, she can clean it. :stone