As health care professionals, we have a unique opportunity to meet many people who affect us in so many ways. Our patients challenge and encourage us, and each one has a story. If we're lucky, we are allowed the rare opportunity to not only know our patient--we get to know our patients' loved ones, too. I love it when a loved one wants to help and become involved in my patient's care. There are some instances when those who try so hard to help inadvertently create unusual situations that can be, well, non therapeutic. I have some favorites I'd like to share with you.
Oh, yes, we know them. The throngs of visitors, family members, and guests who flock to comfort our patients. This is just for fun. See if you can name some of our favorite guests.
The good Samaritan who brings your post-surgical NPO except ice patient some pungent tacos because the patient said he felt hungry. Patient eats three bites and begins vomiting epically. The visitor, big-eyed and instantly remorseful, tells you, "But he said he was getting really hungry and you guys weren't bringing him anything!" At least three places in the room, including the door, say "NPO x Ice". There will be Phenergan. Visitor bolts because of the smell and leaves the wrappers in the garbage.
The PCA pump spouse who watches the clock and pushes the PCA button every ten minutes, even if her husband is asleep. She tells me she doesn't want him to wake up in pain. Luckily, with the help of Narcan and some skilled critical assistance folks, the husband gets to see his wife's face again. No matter how many times you educate...
To my young patient's friend: I can see you care about your buddy's comfort and worry that we aren't giving him his choice dose of powerful narcotics. There are reasons. He is constipated, he is experiencing AMS, and a zillion other things. While it's kind of you to bring supplementary meds and slip them to your friend, it kind of messes up his breathing and living. Please don't visit again.
I like meeting my patient's relatives, but if I have already met 20 and answered the same 400 questions, I'm going to nicely ask you to start talking to my patient or to each other. Maybe bring a tape recorder when the doctor comes in if the patient agrees. I want you all on the same page.
Speaking of relatives, I know the hospital can be noisy, cold, annoying, and frightening. Should your facility permit, I have no problem with one of your relatives staying overnight. Just a foreword--the couches don't get any more comfortable, we will be coming in the room to do annoying procedures like vital signs and medication administration, the room will either be too hot or too cold, the patient down the hall may yell, there may not be 4 pillows readily available, and the TV does not have HBO. Plan accordingly.
We love kids. We just don't love it with young children decide to bounce on Grandpa and bust his stitches. Unfortunately, the care providers prefer that catheter bags, oxygen devices, JP drains, bed controls, suction canisters, computers, IV pumps/poles, and just about any cool thing be left to the appropriate hospital care provider. We hate to be a bummer. Oh yes, and the gloves. The gloves won't hurt you, but if you pull the entire box on the floor, it costs the hospital money and we don't want that.
Dear overzealous advocate for your sick loved one: I am proud of you for standing up for your friend/family member who isn't feeling 100%. I am happy to report complaints to my supervisor and if I can rectify the problem, by golly, I will. I can not help the shows on TV, the food, the lack of closet space, the consistency of the sheets, the brand of orange juice the hospital provides, the absence of a beauty salon, cafeteria hours, erratic doctor's rounds timing, or the size of your room. I will give you some paper to write those things down for my supervisor or let you talk with my charge nurse. I know I will get bad patient ratings for not correcting all these problems. Next time I will learn.
Please, guys. Don't ask me about labs. I want to tell you. I can't tell you. I'm sorry.
Shift change is a bad time to call about an update on patient condition. Try to call 2 hours before or two hours after shift change. If before shift change, the last shift nurse can give you the low-down. If you call a few hours after shift change, I will have a good handle on your loved one's status. Otherwise, it might be messy and I won't get a chance to thoroughly evaluate my patient.
If you are a visitor and if you curse, threaten, hit, or disturb my patient in any way, you will be leaving. Same goes for me and my colleagues. This is a place for healing.
Family drama is not conducive to healing. If grievances must be aired, please have quiet, non disruptive discussions. Screaming profanities is not therapeutic and everyone will be asked to leave.
I like help, don't get me wrong. But, uh, no matter how strong you are, certain patients require certain strategies to move about, pivot to the commode, whatever. The patient might wind up caught up in any number of tubing, fall, reopen a wound, etc. I like your go-getter attitude, but I'd prefer to help you get the hang of things. I like my patients unharmed.
We all make mistakes. Usually they are minor. It is painful, not fatal, if I accidentally blow an IV on MawMaw's floss veins. Don't call me names, don't assume I am just poking around for kicks. I'll get help if my technique fails. Twice is a good number before I ask another colleague.
I do love family stories, and I'd love to hear them all, but a floor nurse is on the go 24/7. I'm not ignoring you.
Please let the patient talk if he/she can.
There's generally a reason I ask patients' families to call me should something happen. Please don't unhook an IV, remove a mask, or any other 500 things without assistance. Some things could turn out bad.
Do not sneak alcohol to my patient.
Please do not paint my patient's nails, dye her hair, or otherwise alter her appearance unless it's been run by the doctor or me. The polish irritates other patients' lungs and dying hair is messy. No make-up... it's a no-no for surgeries. Please don't clip toenails, wax, or beautify without first checking with your nurse. Some hair styling tools may burn patients and hospital beds.
For those randy, lonely spouses missing their lover in the hospital: NO. Your time will come.
Visitors, never assume you know what's in a random cup.
No strippers. I don't know why I have to include this.
But I must say, on the whole, a good friend or family member helps brighten my patient's day. Please watch to see if my patient looks tired or in pain, because he/she may need a break. Your love, support, and comfort help beyond what I can do sometimes.
unfortunately no its not a joke. as an asthmatic nurse also caring for a patient with asthma exacerbation in the next bed, having a patient's girlfriend paint her nails while keeping a bottle of acetone open (just in case) really makes entering the room tricky. Telling her to stop, step out side with her cosmetics, and come back when her nails are dry, didn't end well. If I remember correctly her response was that patient number 1 (aka her boyfriend) has no problem with her doing her nails. She failed to see why patient number 2 asking for his PRN respiratory treatment is her problem.
You are on to something, just the sampling here we could have a very big thick read & let's reach for the stars-Possibly a tv show that shows real nursing, Best EX-ER tv show. Why not shoot for the moon-lol!!
Please use the quote button when replying to posts so we can follow what you're saying [emoji4]
Families who bring everything into a contact precaution rooms after you spent 5 minutes explaining that they can't bring anything back out because it will spread the germs/bacteria.
Family who demand a private room because the person next to them coughed ...
Family demanding to know diagnosis, which you have informed them many times that the Doctor will be around to let them know, to which they reply I'm a nurse too so you can just tell me ....
I just recently had a patient, status post CVA who could not walk independently, which his wife knew. But that didn't stop her from turning his bed alarm off and when he got up, she neither got up to help him nor did she call for help.
I am not a nurse yet, so, I have not had the opportunity to experience any of the situations mentioned before. I will start this fall in an RN program. I am an older student and this is my second career. I know all careers have their challenging moments since we are dealing with human beings from all walks of life. However, I get the impression that many nurses are just jaded and extremely over-worked. Like the last nurse who commented, not all people know and understand "the rules". Visitors and loved ones are worried, scared, uncomfortable, nervous, etc. to see their friend, father, mother, grandmother, etc. in pain and sick. As nurses it is important to understand this and have empathy and sympathy not only for the patient, but their family as well. It is not our place to judge other people's intentions, motives, behavior...what might be unacceptable to you and your family, might be the norm for others. Some families are loud, some are reserved. Your place is not to judge. If the loudness bothers you and inhibits your duties, say something, otherwise, it isn't your place to judge. It is a nurse's job to explain to everyone what is needed for you to care for the patient. If that means sending 6 of the 10 people out of the room, just tell them to come back later. How difficult is that? If you need everyone to leave so you feel confident in your care, explain that...being kind and honest is usually a good choice. Tell people the rules in a non-condescending manner, yet, be authoritative in explaining why. Don't expect people to know and think like you do. Expect people to hear you and abide by the rules, once they know them. Some people have never been in a hospital before, you have to be empathetic to all situations. People handle stress and sadness in different ways...I thought they taught this in our fundamental nursing classes...I was just shocked at the tone of the article.
Wait until you actually graduate and are in practice. Until you've dealt with some of these families you'll never understand. Wait until you get the ones who berate you because you didn't immediately run to the room. Sorry, my patient with breathing issues is more important than fetching your soda. Then the ones who like to videotape you doing your job. Come back to us 2 years or so after you start working as an RN to give us your thoughts. 🤣
How about bringing kids to visit at 11 pm on a school night. Same visitor demands to know everything the MD said that day and wants to speak to him right now. Unfortunately I was the supervisor and had to tell her it wasn't an emergency and we wouldn't be waking the MD. Needless to say she didn't like me.
Family members repeatedly asking "where is the doctor" or "why hasn't the doctor been here yet"... please stop. If I tell you I have paged the doctor, then I have paged the doctor. She will come when she is available. Your loved one is not in distress. Trust me, I can tell. He's breathing fine and trying to sleep, but he can't do that because you keep yelling at me about things I have no control over. I do not know where the doctor is or why she hasn't called back or come to see you. She has other patients, and she's not even assigned to our floor. She ended up with your case because the ER rotates admissions to all hospitalists currently working in the hospital. Also, you've literally been here less than six hours. She has twenty-four hours to make her initial visit after your admission unless there's a life-threatening emergency.
Please trust me when I say I can tell when someone is really in trouble. If I feel like interventions are needed right now, I will call for a rapid response. If your loved one stops breathing, I will call a code blue. I'm sorry you're angry, but the doctor and I are just trying to take care of our patients, and we will see the sickest of them first.
P.S. Namedropping other physicians will not help you. Even if said physician were to come yell at us, nothing would change. He's not your loved one's doctor.
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peggieBSNRN
3 Posts
unfortunately no its not a joke. as an asthmatic nurse also caring for a patient with asthma exacerbation in the next bed, having a patient's girlfriend paint her nails while keeping a bottle of acetone open (just in case) really makes entering the room tricky.
Telling her to stop, step out side with her cosmetics, and come back when her nails are dry, didn't end well. If I remember correctly her response was that patient number 1 (aka her boyfriend) has no problem with her doing her nails. She failed to see why patient number 2 asking for his PRN respiratory treatment is her problem.