The nastiest story that I have EVER heard! It happened to me!

Nurses Humor

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Specializes in Neurology.

so, my *confused* patient had a fountain drink of pepsi sitting on his overbed table. when i walked into his room, he was putting the lid back on. i thought he must have been thristy and was eating the ice cubes. i gave him his pills and then handed him his drink. he took a big drink, swallowed, and then told me that it wasn't fresh anymore. i said...no problem...i will dump this and get you something else. i walked into his bathroom to dump it. i took off the lid and was getting ready to dump it out when i noticed that it was warm, yellow and foul smelling. it was pee! my patient took his pills with his own pee. i felt bad because i handed it to him but how was i suppose to know that he peed in it??? omg!!!

i felt bad but i cracked up laughing..... :) how nasty!! he was okay... he didn't know what happened.

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Specializes in ER, TRAUMA, MED-SURG.

Oh, that is NASTY!!!!!

I've heard about little confused patients doing things like that, but if I had been in your shoes, I would have been blowing cookies!

Anne, RNC I think now I'll just wait a little on breakfast

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Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

Well, my yuckiest (don't eat for the next minute, okay?).....

I lived up to my "Nerd the fearless" name one night. We had a pt who would dig his own poop out and eat it. If he hadn't had a bowel movement, he'd go excavating. What made it worse was that he'd had some kind of cancer of the mandible, and had all this interior/exterior metal stuff that was used to replace the missing mandible. Well, of course, it tears your gloves, rips up your hands, and of course, the pt is determined to keep his "present" in his mouth. His primary nurse is gagging and trying not to vomit, pt's chewing happily. I put on two sets of surgical gloves, get a handful of saline flushes and the pink mouth scrubs. I got him cleaned out, and we got an order for mitts.

And I didn't eat fudge for a month.

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Specializes in CVICU.

:barf01::barf01::barf01::barf01::barf01:

Soooooooooo, does that go under "intake" or "output?"

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Specializes in LTC, Memory loss, PDN.
:barf01::barf01::barf01::barf01::barf01:

Soooooooooo, does that go under "intake" or "output?"

:yeah: That has me in tears.

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Specializes in Rehab, Med Surg, Home Care.

Yike!- I can just imagine the "incident report" for that one!!

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Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

I can't initiate a nursing care plan as an LPN, but would that be considered:

Ineffective fecal mastication?

Acute confusion r/t inability to tell your mouth from your ......?

That guy (and the one who threw up dissecting esophageal varices) are the two yuckiest ones I've had.

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Thing is we all talk about these stories over lunch at the local Applebee's. They stick us away from everyone. Only the bartender can handle us.

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
:barf01::barf01::barf01::barf01::barf01:

Soooooooooo, does that go under "intake" or "output?"

BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
I can't initiate a nursing care plan as an LPN, but would that be considered:

Ineffective fecal mastication?

Acute confusion r/t inability to tell your mouth from your ......?

That guy (and the one who threw up dissecting esophageal varices) are the two yuckiest ones I've had.

I've seen that once..........it's one of about a thousand memories I wouldn't wish on anybody. Pt. was a Native American woman in her 50s, looked decades older, and she had been drinking a fifth of whiskey a day since she was 9. I'd just come around the corner and stepped into her room when she threw up this huge glut of blood, which splattered the walls and the floor. I hollered for help and yanked the call light cord out of the wall to sound the alarm, but she just kept vomiting........she bled out before we could even get her to the ICU. It was a hell of a way to die, and I felt horrible about it for a long time afterward. Several of my co-workers said, "Well, she did it to herself". That may be, but I don't think anyone deserves THAT........ugh.

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Specializes in tele, oncology.
Thing is we all talk about these stories over lunch at the local Applebee's. They stick us away from everyone. Only the bartender can handle us.

A bunch of us went out recently from my floor...out of a the group of us, three (including my hubby) were non-nurses that got drug along to the occasion. My hubby kept "running into" the others at the bar where they were going to escape the drunken ranting regarding management, staff, and fecal/blood/emesis/NG etc. issues. We were kind enough to sit far away from anyone else.

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Specializes in Med/Surg/Pedi.
A bunch of us went out recently from my floor...out of a the group of us, three (including my hubby) were non-nurses that got drug along to the occasion. My hubby kept "running into" the others at the bar where they were going to escape the drunken ranting regarding management, staff, and fecal/blood/emesis/NG etc. issues. We were kind enough to sit far away from anyone else.

Hahahaha we are so desensitized as nurses. My mother is also a nurse and at family get togethers we are often scolded for our choice of dinner conversation... and of course people are always amazed by the things you can watch/ say and then immediately go eat after. Ive often said "Im a nurse... there is little that disgusts me anymore" lol

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