The logistics of nursing school and being a mom (or dad)

merCful · Apr 11, 2007

It is tough being a mother, wife and student. My son was in the 5th grade when I started my pre reqs. I had a full time day job and my husband would pick him up after school while I attended evening classes. I managed to ace all my pre reqs which proved to my husband how much I wanted to be a nurse. He was frustrated at first when I decided to go on-call at work and be a full time student to finish up the core courses. Now that I got into the nursing program, my husband is so supportive. My son on the other hand has been my rock. He is in the 7th grade now. He keeps me focused on my studies, testing me before my exams. He has learned so many medical terms and is such a helpful volunteer patient for me to practice some of my assessment skills and other nursing procedures.

I wish you much success in your studies and hope that you have great family support to help you out with your child. One of my biggest concerns was financial. I hope you signed up for financial aid or scholarships. Take care.

RNsRWe, ASN, RN · Apr 11, 2007

Does anyone who is in nursing school want to talk about the logistics of having young children and keeping up with studies? I am a prenursing student at the moment. I hope to get accepted the same year my youngest starts Kindergarten. I am hoping to do the part time program. How in the world do you manage your kids, giving them the attention they deserve, and also keeping up with your studies? What if you can't afford sitters very often or have no family in town to babysit? I don't want my kids to be at the babysitters out of school hours anyway.
Does anyone what to share how the manage? Want to share your schedules, too?

I had a similar situation when I began school. For me, having a supportive husband, a gem of a neighbor (who could fish a child off a bus and watch him for an hour or so from time to time), and a babysitter who could come to my house from time to time was the ticket. Also, it was key that I got registrations for classes done as early as humanly possible, so that I could mostly ensure getting time slots that would work best. Sometimes that wasn't possible, and that's where the aforementioned alternatives came in. For over three years I didn't make a single move without consulting a calendar for every part of every day.

How will you do it? You will find a way, if it's important to you to go to school and still be Mom. It was for me, it was hard as hell, but my kids knew they could count on me when they needed stuff for school, or me to be at a program. They also knew when I said "I have to study NOW", that meant find something else to do!

If you really want this, you will keep finding ways of making it work.

justme1972 · Apr 11, 2007

My husband travels during the week and is home only on the weekend and I have class 5 days a week. We used to have the children in daycare when I worked full-time, but since money is tight, my sister-in-law keeps them during the day while I'm at school (and I thank her EVERY day for it). It's my responsibility to do everything, right down to watering the dog, during the week.

However, my twins are 3, and I have noticed a marked change in them since we took them out of daycare...they are noticably less active, and I think, less creative, than they were before.

When my DH comes home this weekend we are going to try to see if we can put them back in daycare at least 3x a week....my point is that the CHILDREN need the interaction with other kids...I can see them look at other children playing with wanting eyes...no matter how fun we make it at home, it doesn't substitute for the play-time with their peers. It's natural for them, and they were better when they were in. I never thought I would feel that way, but I do.

You know you are studying too much, when your kids start writing down things on paper, and when you ask what they are doing they say, "Shhh...Mommy..I'm doing homework!"

SummerGarden, BSN, MSN, RN · Apr 11, 2007

I agree with the above poster. The last thing you should worry about is putting your child in a good day care/preschool unless you plan to home school them their entire childhood. I took my kids out of day care for a year because we could not afford to send them and I scheduled my pre-reqs and co-reqs around my husband and my work schedule. Anyway, my now four year old reverted back to acting like a two year old within a month! And my two year old could care less if he potty trained or not. Their behaviors were the opposite of how they acted when they were in day care.

Day care is not some evil institution many these days are trying to make them out to be. Find a good place for your children and he/she will be ahead, not behind.

This year my oldest returned to day care/preschool. Although he knew his alphabet, counted to 20, and some other things he was considered behind his peers when he first started because of his behaviors and because of his lack of learning (You will be surprised what kids have to know before kindergarten). However within a month he improved!

He now takes pride in speaking well (not whining) and following instructions. He cleans up his room and the play area without being told to do so because that is what "big kids do" (his words). He is also learning to read, write, and speak in front of groups. These are all skills I tried to teach him myself but failed to do so because he was not around other children who were doing the same thing; they too were staying at home. Positive peer interaction is invaluable. Play dates are no substitute for a structured classroom IMO. :twocents:

KnitterMama · Apr 11, 2007

I am about to graduate in about 4 weeks ... this has definitely been the hardest thing I've ever done! I had my son in the middle of my pre-req year, started a new semester about a week after he was born. I think the best way to do it is to take advantage of sleeping/school times. My DS is in daycare full-time, so I study when not in class while he's out. I also study while he's asleep - either stay up late or get up at 4-5am. It works. Sometimes it bums me out that I'm not as on top of things as my single classmates, but we do the best we can. I get good grades, I just don't know every detail of say, some pathophys or what-have-you. Too many balls in the air, ya know?

KnitterMama · Apr 11, 2007

Also, my son is 2. That's a key piece of the equation. :lol2: He's unlikely to listen when I say I need to do my work. The key to my success has really been making the time to study and leaning on my family members. My Mom has been a total lifesaver in this regard. Guess who's getting a bouquet of roses at the pinning ceremony next month? :1luvu:

LovebugLPN · Apr 11, 2007

Okay I will not respond about opinions on daycare because I have some pretty strong opinions also. I will say that your children will be fine. They will see you studying and know that for a while you will be busy. In the end they will benefit greatly by you going to nursing school. I know I worried all the time that my son was somehow "missing out" because I wasn't there for every school activity and at his school the other moms stay home and do not work. My son is so proud to tell people his mother is a nurse and he has seen how it was all worth it. Good luck and they will be fine.

AmericanChai · Apr 11, 2007

Wow thanks so much for the advice so far! I'm so in awe that you are making it work. I want to be a nurse so badly. My husband is awesome. He works long hours but he will always be home so I can study or go to class. Last semester I took chemistry and I could not miss lecture because it was an intense class. He actually went to class for me and took notes once when I was really sick with the flu, and then he got home and used our large home whiteboard to give me the lecture as if I was in class. :)

The whole daycare debate-- I don't want to give the impression that I'm against daycare. I became a SAHM by choice, and remained one out of necessity. My oldest is now in K after never going to daycare and the teacher says she is doing very well socially, with behavior, and with her school work. I homeschooled her for two years before she went to school because she did need the structure and she was an early academic kid (some say gifted-- I don't like that term) and started reading and writing at age 3 years 1 month. We could not afford preschool for her, but she did enjoy classes at the Y and Parks and Rec.

My second child was born with some severe, chronic health problems that were a mystery until recently (she has EE, asthma, and GERD). She had a gtube placed at 3 mos old due to FTT and lack of hunger, and lots and lots of vomiting over her life. She got sick very often, so sick she needed to go to ER for hydration frequently. After diagnosis she is now doing much better but due to her feeding tube, daily feeding therapy at home, and all her doctor appts and such, there is no way I could hold down a full time job. Her med expenses also take care of daycare or preschool-- no way we could afford it. Our formula copay for her is $300/month and that's not including frequent doctor visits and regular endoscopies, meds, etc. But she's getting so, so much better now that we finally have a dx and treatment plan. Yeah! Still, her gtube is going to be with her for a long time to come. She is a bright girl and very social, and soon will be well enough to start Parks and Rec classes so I can study during the time she's in class. :lol2:

I look forward to hearing more replies. Thanks again! Good luck to you!

queenjean · Apr 11, 2007

I'm also not interested in a debate on childcare; ultimately I think kids are very flexible, and if they are going to thrive, they are going to thrive in a multitude of environments.

But I know where you are coming from; I too was a stay at home mama, my kids just went to 2 hour classes a couple of times a week for socialization, play time that I didn't have to clean up after, and sanity time for me. My youngest had a lot of health problems as an infant and young child, and I didn't want her in *any* type of group situation for a while, due to immune system issues.

I didn't feel it would be a good thing, for my daughters to go from being home with me most of the time to full time daycare, plus any time away from me that my evening studying would require. If I had down time, or a day off, I didn't want to send them to daycare that day; but I didn't want to pay for a spot that they weren't always going to use, since money was tight.

I worked out a babysitting exchange with a couple of friends. They watched my kids while I was in classes; now that these two friends are in school, I try to watch their kids as much as possible. It hasn't always been fair--I think, even when they graduate, I won't have watched their kids as much as they watched mine. But we are all good friends, our children have been friends since they were infants, and my friends wouldn't accept money even when I tried to pay them a little. It really was like my kids were just at a long play date while I was in class. I knew they were with people who had similar parenting philosophies as ours, and I completely trusted them to care for my children as well as I would. My child care expenses the entire time I was in nursing school were nil (though we did keep them enrolled in the 6 hour a week preschool--but since my friends' kids went there, too, it wasn't a big deal).

It might not be an option for everyone, or it might work, but not full time. Another option might be for you to enroll your kids part time in a daycare or a preschool, and then have a babysitting exchange to cover the times that your children aren't with the preschool.

bcyogi · Apr 11, 2007

I started nursing school in Jan 2006 and my youngest started kindergarten in August 2006. I am also in a part time nursing program. For me, this means that my classes are held in the evening and my clinical hours are on Saturday. For me, this means that my husband was always home for the kids when I went to school or clinical. And the couple of hours a day that my youngest is in kindergarten are when most of my studying, paper writing and reading gets done. I also study a lot in the evening after the kiddos are in bed.

I too have always been a SAHM by choice, so affording the cost of school and additional daycare fees would have been tough. Good luck in nursing school!

rnmomtobe2010 · Apr 11, 2007

I really don't know what to do about my kids and school this summer. When I start my pre and co-reqs this summer, it will be the hardest thing ever. I have no family nearby and that sucks. All of my family is 5 hours away:uhoh21: How I am going to pull this off, I don't have a clue. I guess the power of pray and faith!!!