You've got the active GI bleed admit, they're scoping him at the bedside and you other assignment is the screaming detox patient in leathers. Nothing good comes from that:D
"Bed 1 is an incontinent confused combative finger-painter, Bed 2 is a diva, and Bed 3 is scheduled for 5-FU and a possible blood transfusion (we are NOT chemo certified)"
"No PCA tonight - May the force be with you"
"Where are all the vital signs machines?" (3 are broken the other two are being monopolized by the newbies)
"Power failure test scheduled for tonight - And loss of telephone and computer data"
"Mrs. Jones husband is a total jerk - he already made an army vet nurse cry"
"Who was the genius that put 3 female sickle cell crisis patients together in one room?"
"Not that we had time for coffee to begin with but just so you know - where OUT and we have no filters"
"The hospital is on code capacity and the ED is on saturation alert - expect admissions!"
"The agency nurse was fantastic up until 5am - with only two hours left to go she THEN decided to inform us that she had not charted at all on any of her patients (5 list) and didnt know how to use the charting software....Guess who is staying over to fix this?"
"Mamagement is going unit to unit - intimidation tactics or some JCAHO/HIPAA crap - BRING IT ON!!!"
"The tube system is down and the couriers are spred thin - pick up the slack and take your specimens to the lab (10 floors down)"
"Family is furious that there lol mommy is in restraints - they are raising hell."
What really made me cringe was "no coffee made, and we're out and there's no filters. I would add, "there's plenty of decaf though."
You never want to come in, every phone in the place is ringing, callbells going off, and not one but BOTH the code carts are outside the room with the code blue light flashing, and there's not a soul in sight.
Walk in, punch in, and they tell me "Sorry, you're being mandated tonight." What!!!! I come in for pm's and already you can't find anyone for nocs!?! Thanks a bunch and I was up at 0730 today
You're charge today and we are all doing primary care 5 to 1, including you.....sorry so many call offs. But you are an amazing nurse....I know you can really shine now!
It's bad when the doctor (DVM) meets you at the back door and says "I'm so glad that you are here. I cannot get an IV catheter in a big mixed breed dog". I get there and see a large dog flat out on the gurney, anemic, breathing poorly with poor blood pressure. I got a 16 guage in it the second try. It was big enough to give the euthanasia solution. The dog had an abdominal tumor (spleen) that had ruptured.
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Zookeeper3
1,361 Posts
You've got the active GI bleed admit, they're scoping him at the bedside and you other assignment is the screaming detox patient in leathers. Nothing good comes from that:D