Has anyone ever taken an extended leave of absence from work? Lately, I've been contemplating taking a 4 week leave of absence from work.
I did go back for 3 weeks after COVID, but I'm not sure I did myself any favors. Any time I overexert myself, my bronchitis and angry pleural sac flare up. This last week, I worked 3 6 hour days, 2 12 hour days, did PT 2x, yoga on Saturday and Pure Barre on Sunday. Today, I spent an extensive amount of time sleeping. I also noticed that I've lost another 3 lbs, making for a 13 lb weight loss in 1 month, when I never needed to lose weight to begin with. It just seems like I'm not going to get any better until I slow down. I feel like 4 weeks with no work would give me time to exercise while resting when I want.
Has anyone else ever taken a long leave from work and has it helped?
Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
1 hour ago, SilverBells said:
It is sometimes. I went back and forth this morning with staffing and the DON regarding more staff for my unit. I explained to them that it is not reasonable to count me as a second floor nurse and get my own job done. I asked if we could at least have someone extra in the morning for 4 hours for medication pass or have a nurse float from the other unit but was informed that wasn't an option. Explaining to them that meds weren't being given on time or treatments being completed went nowhere; apparently I'm the one who should be doing them if there's not another nurse. I told them that was not a reasonable daily expectation.
It's easier for the other nurse manager to be nominated for Employee of the Month when her unit is receiving priority staffing.
You answer should have been to give notice and prepare to leave. Your DON knows by now that you will buckle so your requests do not have teeth.
Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
2 hours ago, toomuchbaloney said:
It's a shame that you choose to stay in a toxic work environment. Maybe that's related to living in a toxic home environment.
It is true that we spend our childhoods being groomed in certain types of behavior. Often times this is a matter of survival but it doesn’t allow us to move forward so we stay stuck in the patterns of the past often desperately seeking approval and not believing we can move forward without it. Sadly many never move past this and lead lives of constant and quiet desperation. The only way to break free is to take bold risks which if successful bring great rewards. Still we don’t know until we try.
I've noticed the other manager has nothing to say to me after sending out that email asking about making staffing assignments fair. I'm guessing because, in order to do so, they wouldn't be able to cater things to her liking. I don't think she has to worry, though. Any request that I've made is a flat-out no. They always say to ask for help when you need it, but then help is never available. And if there is help offered, it's usually to help entering orders or with paperwork, not to help with coverage on the floor.
One thing that I've also noticed is that the other manager seems to be able to dictate her own schedule to her own liking without upper management appearing to notice. I've been in later a few times recently, and I start to get emails asking where I am because the other manager is gone.
And it's not just my work requests that I've been told no to either. I've been reaching out to multiple organizations for group therapy, and there are never any openings. None of them are accepting new patients. My Protonix doesn't seem to be working. I still get flare ups in my chest where I had the inflamed pleural sac. I'm losing weight like crazy. I've tried applying for other jobs and have not even been granted an interview.
I'm ready to give up. I'm tired of being told no to everything. Any efforts I have made to improve my health have not been successful. Any efforts I have made to improve my work situation have not been effective, either. I'm expected to do more than my colleague, who is healthier than I am since she didn't get COVID and probably won't ever get it since she doesn't have to work with those patients.
So yes, I am angry. I don't see the point in trying if there are no results. Standing up for myself doesn't work; my colleague is clearly more important than me. Working to improve my health isn't working either since the same symptoms keep coming back over and over and over again. I can't get the therapy I want or need.
Had a therapy appointment this afternoon. Today was a good day to have it due to earlier frustrations. Found out I likely have adjustment disorder with depression and anxiety. Today we talked about:
1. Deciding whether my current job is a good fit AND
2. Remembering why I went into nursing. Reminding myself that I do enjoy being a nurse, I just need to find that again.
3. Healthier ways to approach upper management about what I need. Speaking to them in a positive manner. Offering solutions to a situation rather than having them solve everything. Figuring out what I do need help with and what I can actually do on my own.
4. This week, focusing on empathizing more with others. Finding a way to be helpful to someone else. This means instead of asking for help at work, finding a way to give it. For example, instead of asking for more staff on the floor, figuring out a way that I can support the ones that we do have.
5. This also means not venting to my parents about my work problems. Instead, focusing on providing support to my mom who is struggling after my grandma had a stroke. Rather than talking about how I'm feeling, asking her how she is doing and how I can help her.
6. Incorporating yoga 3x/week and participating in meditation every morning and bedtime.
7. Less screen time. Wind down the day with a book and/or relaxation activity.
8. We will do 30 minutes of venting and 30 minutes of meditation every week. Today's meditation focused on directing positive energy towards myself and others. I even sent well wishes to my colleague manager, who has unfairly received negative energy from me as a result of undeserved resentment.
9. We will continue to work on finding group therapy for me. In the meantime, she will be providing me resources of books/workbooks I can read/use in my downtime. Any recommendations welcome.
10. Following up with my PCP for a dietician referral.
Thanks, me too. I've been reading a book, "13 Things Mentally Strong People DON'T Do" and one of the suggestions is not expecting immediate results. It's becoming clear I will have to be patient. Things will get better in their own time. The jobs that I applied for were not the right jobs for me. The therapy groups I've tried joining weren't meant to be. Maybe I don't really need group therapy or maybe the right one just hasn't turned up yet. We will see. I need to keep trying.
Eventually, things will fall into place and my body will recover, but not overnight. In the meantime, just trying to focus on positivity will be key. Helping others and providing support to them might be a good way to do this. I've kept thinking I'm not in a place to support anyone else, but I need to try. I'm probably more capable than I realize.
Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
17 hours ago, SilverBells said:
I've noticed the other manager has nothing to say to me after sending out that email asking about making staffing assignments fair. I'm guessing because, in order to do so, they wouldn't be able to cater things to her liking. I don't think she has to worry, though. Any request that I've made is a flat-out no. They always say to ask for help when you need it, but then help is never available. And if there is help offered, it's usually to help entering orders or with paperwork, not to help with coverage on the floor.
One thing that I've also noticed is that the other manager seems to be able to dictate her own schedule to her own liking without upper management appearing to notice. I've been in later a few times recently, and I start to get emails asking where I am because the other manager is gone.
And it's not just my work requests that I've been told no to either. I've been reaching out to multiple organizations for group therapy, and there are never any openings. None of them are accepting new patients. My Protonix doesn't seem to be working. I still get flare ups in my chest where I had the inflamed pleural sac. I'm losing weight like crazy. I've tried applying for other jobs and have not even been granted an interview.
I'm ready to give up. I'm tired of being told no to everything. Any efforts I have made to improve my health have not been successful. Any efforts I have made to improve my work situation have not been effective, either. I'm expected to do more than my colleague, who is healthier than I am since she didn't get COVID and probably won't ever get it since she doesn't have to work with those patients.
So yes, I am angry. I don't see the point in trying if there are no results. Standing up for myself doesn't work; my colleague is clearly more important than me. Working to improve my health isn't working either since the same symptoms keep coming back over and over and over again. I can't get the therapy I want or need.
I highly reccomend the book "You Can't Make Me Angry by Dr. Paul O.
It is mildly religioous but as a pagan I was still to read this and put it into practice
It's a shame that you choose to stay in a toxic work environment. Maybe that's related to living in a toxic home environment.
I think this is the heart of the matter. When the OP shared how her parents treated her it explained so much about her personality, perfectionism, comparing herself to others and staying trapped both at home in a toxic environment and at this very toxic job. Silverbells appears to be in the scapegoat role both at home and at work. Her therapist's suggestions while well meaning will not change this reality, especially re upper management.
I wish I could help her, but I can't. She has to help herself by breaking free of both situations moving out of her parents house and quitting the toxic job. I would suggest renting a modest apartment for now rather than buying a house.
As to the toxic job, it is so obvious that her boss does not respect or appreciate her and I'm sure is tired of the complaints re covid and staffing and doesn't listen anymore. The job is a dead end. She says she is having trouble getting another job so the question is why? I suspect her employer may be bad mouthing her. Does the OP have a couple friends she can trust to be references for another job?
There is a nursing shortage she should be able to get another nursing job. Maybe even consider working as an agency nurse in the meantime.
I think if there is some way Silverbells could move out and quit the toxic job that would help her towards the peace she is seeking. Once she takes herself out of the toxic environment and scapegoat role she is in she will finally start to feel the peace that has eluded her. I speak as someone who has freed myself from an abusive family when I was young and quit a couple toxic jobs over the years. Staying in the situation only reinforces the negativity and fear. Breaking free is how you find true peace and happiness!
Things have gotten better. I haven't taken a long leave of absence from work, but I have done a much better job of limiting my hours. I'm typically only working 8 hour days. I have done a couple of 12 hours on Fridays, but that's been a couple of times.
I continue to go to therapy. We recently increased the frequency from once a week to twice a week due to continued elevated PHQ-9/GAD scores. However, we are talking about going back to once a week in a few weeks since I do seem to be making progress. I also got into a screening appointment to see if I can take part in an 8-week mindfulness support group. In addition, I've started taking my antidepressant/antianxiety medications as ordered (I had stopped one of them awhile back).
My diet has greatly improved. I haven't had any Diet Pepsi or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups for 3 months now. I did have a cupcake recently, and did go out to eat tacos, but that was on my birthday, so I kind of let those slide. Every once in awhile I'll have a couple of small scoops of vanilla frozen yogurt, but for the most part my diet consists of fruits, veggies, oatmeal, yogurt, chicken, salmon, shrimp, salad, etc.
I joined an athletic center here in town and now exercise 3 or 4 times a week, if not more. I've been enjoying the dance, fitness/cardio, and yoga classes. I'm looking at possibly getting a personal trainer twice a month and learning how to use some of the exercise equipment. I'd also like to try the cycling classes and maybe some of the swimming classes. My coworker and I have also talked about going on a bike ride or taking tai chi together. I've also been taking some art classes every now and then and am looking for ways to start volunteering. My first volunteer opportunity, I think, will be helping serve a meal with a church group every 3rd Sunday at a homeless shelter. I'm looking into getting more involved with the young adult church group here in town as well, if I can make time. When I am not spending time doing an activity, I'm mostly reading either outside or at a local coffee shop. I very rarely watch TV anymore.
Lastly, I did get a primary care doctor established and had a physical exam. Almost everything came back normal, with the exception of some labs that indicated hypothyroidism. I am now starting levothyroxine, so maybe that will help some. I also underwent an upper endoscopy, and while most of it came back normal, there is a possible structural issue that may warrant further investigation, so I have a pending GI referral for that. Meanwhile, I am also working with a dietician to help maintain a new, healthy diet, as described above.
Overall, I think this has helped my work performance. It seems as if I am a much better teammate and coworker. I also seem to have a lot more patience and I haven't had any nervous breakdowns at work lately. I am hoping that my coworkers, patients and family members have noticed and view it positively.
hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I
4 Articles; 5,212 Posts
You answer should have been to give notice and prepare to leave. Your DON knows by now that you will buckle so your requests do not have teeth.