Surviving nursing school & keeping friendships possible?

KB24 · Mar 18, 2010

A true friend will always be there for you during the good times and bad times. A true friend will understand nursing school is hard and your priority in life right now is school.

How are you being a bad friend? I had conversations with friends about this same issue and I told them school is the most important thing in my life right now and I'm not going to be always be able to hang out with them. They understood how I felt because they're my true friends and we have been friends since Kindergarten.

You should also try to hang out with them when you have some time. Getting your mind of school is a good thing and you should still have a social life outside of school.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Mar 18, 2010

if they're really a friend, they'll still be there when you're finished with school. they may not "get it" when you tell them how all-consuming nursing school can be, but they'll believe that you find it so.

if they're just an acquaintence or someone you're friendly with but not a real friend, they'll probably drift away. that's ok. you'll make new friends in nursing school and those people will understand!

Sparrow23 · Mar 18, 2010

I'm going to be unpopular for my views on this, but I tend to side with the ****** off friends... Yeah nursing school is hard. So is life. But I believe people can almost always make time for the things that are truly important to them. I have always worked at least one job while going to school full time, but have never really turned down friends either. They are too important to me. I am working crazy hours right now, and have not been able to see them as much, but I still make the time. You adjust. I ended up staying awake well over 24 hours to be able to work and see an old friend visiting from out of town. :yawn: I'm not saying it is healthy or wise to do that all the time, but for me, being a bit sleepy that day was better than having missed out seeing her. I am not suggesting running yourself ragged. But I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of "friends" continually saying "I don't have time." It gets old. Friends compromise. You don't have to stay out the entire night with them, just make an appearance. Or, make it a point to catch up via phone/text/email/whatever now and then. And when you absolutely cannot make it, make a counteroffer - "Tonight is horrible, but I'd love to grab lunch on such and such day if you can."

I've got a friend in med school right now who basically lives in the library, but she still manages to pop by when we're hanging out or to go for food. We all understand she can't stay long but are super-appreciative that she comes by and we can catch up a bit. And we're all understanding when she has to leave early to go back to her books.

Besides, we all need to eat and have some time to relax and recharge, so why not do that with friends? I guess all I'm saying is, if they are important to you, you will be able to make time for them, even if it is less than all of you would prefer. And, friends keep you sane (mostly) and happy. I am convinced I would have been miserable and done worse in school if I didn't have them.

Now, if your friends are completely unsupportive and just more of a pain than they are worth... well... maybe find some new friends.

locolorenzo22, BSN, RN · Mar 18, 2010

you have to do what you have to do FOR YOU AND YOUR LIFE.

Friends are important, don't get me wrong....but most of the good friends I still have I made in NS. The ones that weren't there with me didn't understand that I had full 9 hr clinical days(like working unpaid), tests the next day, 3-4 chapters to read for a next class, and a paper or two to write.....I would go out with people from time to time, have people over for dinner, pack my breaks between semesters, throw a house party at the end of each semester, catch up....but you HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU FEEL YOU NEED TO DO.

Only you can decide how serious you are. good luck, regardless.

RNperdiem, RN · Mar 18, 2010

I have found that the nature and intensity of friendships change as you get older. When you have a job, a spouse, a house, and especially children, any leftover time is scarce.

You will need to prioritize what you will do with that time, and sometimes school will be a bigger priority.

Make time for the people in your life, but not at the expense of your life goals. Someday, your friends will understand.

Mommy2NQ · Mar 18, 2010

My friends know that if they come over that I will be practicing assessment techniques and vital signs on them LOL...or they can help me with other assignments. It is a good way of keeping in touch with friends but also not to waste time.

Txnursekristi · Mar 18, 2010

School, Work, Family, Friends...only 3 out of 4 can be done successfully at one time. The choice is yours. :jester:

skittles08 · Mar 18, 2010

Keeping my friendships hasn't been much of a problem for me because my best friend is in my nursing class, and my other friends are understanding. I try to remember to always make time to call my friends every once in a while & catch up even though we can't see each other as much as we would like to. I stay organized so I can still have time to go on dates with my boyfriend and spend time with my family. If going out with your friends is a priority, maybe you can make plans in advance so you can plan your studytime around it. If I know I have plans to spend all day Saturday with my boyfriend, I'll study more on Thursday or Friday and make sure I have my paperwork finished. That way, I can go out and have a good time without feeling guilty or stressed. Your friends may be upset that they can't spend as much time with you as usual, but don't feel pressured to go out all the time and risk failing. It's all about finding your balance between fun & work.

RPN_2012 · Mar 18, 2010

If your friends are really important, try "booking" your time ahead of time, way ahead... Like have an "appointment" with your friend, don't stay out all night, instead have lunch or brunch, or something that doesn't take al day/all night. It's important to have "me time", "family time" and "friends time" to stay sane through school! You can't study 24/7, it's unhealthy! Try to make friends in nursing school, in your class. They know what you are going through, you have similar class/assignment/test schedules, and no one gets mad if the other one can't make it.... Real friends would understand, and not push it... Just make sure to kep your eyes on your goal, and to keep your priorities straight.

My priorities change according to how busy my weeks are, but friends are never in the top 3, idk if it's good or bad, if it makes me a horrible person, I can't give more than I can give!

During very busy weeks:

1.School

2.Health/me (getting minimum sleep to function, eating right, have minimum "alone" time to stay sane)

3.Family

Medium weeks:

1.School

2.Family

3.Me (getting minimum sleep to function, eating right, have some "alone" time, this is easier on those weeks, so it's less of a priority)

On "slow" weeks (when/if there is such a thing)

1.School

2.Everything else, because I have enough time for all the stuff during those weeks, unfortunately these are rare weeks

Notice that my #1 priority is school at all costs, and I inted on keep it that way, otherwise it all goes downhill from there, once I get distracted from my main goal, I never achieve it. :uhoh3: Myself, and my family come after. Friends come after. Fact of (my) life. :rolleyes:

Oh, almot forgot!

By family I mean (Mom, teen-sis, teen-bro, I live with them) If I were maried or had kids, the orders would probably have to be different...

And it also includes not only quality time, but also the not so plesant responsibilities, like chores, housework and stuff... When it's a busy week, it all goes to **** :uhoh3: (the chores I mean) (Which makes me think I should start a thread on how to deal with the ever present pile of laundry and dishes, and your family getting ****** at you for not keeping up with your responsibilities. That is a much bigger problem for me... :uhoh3: )