Support Stickie for New nurses who are not coping

DamailaRN · Sep 26, 2011

While on one hand I am relieved to see that I'm not the only one having these feelings, on the other, sometimes I wish I'd stumbled across this board (especially this section) before I ever started with nursing. I'm a couple weeks away from my one-year anniversary at my hospital. I feel guilty for being so unhappy, because I know the economy is awful and I am very lucky to have a good-paying full-time job. I try to keep that in mind, but it doesn't do much for the dread and anxiety I feel leading up to my shifts (or throughout them). I spend a lot of time thinking about what ELSE I could be doing, and I've used that same word - "trapped" - so many times myself. I work night shift on a med/surg unit. I think a great deal of the problem is the night shift itself, and I'm trying really hard to find something on days that I can handle. Ten months of night shift has wreaked havoc on me and my family. Even when I am off, I can't enjoy my personal time because it takes me most of my days off to get back in a "normal" groove (and then it's time to flip again), and I spend a good deal of that time fretting over work and looking for a new job. I'm also not sure I like the actual nursing part, but I keep trying to talk myself into hanging in there and giving a different job a chance. My unit is very busy, even on nights, but then I look at day shift, and see that they are even busier, and it scares the crap out of me. I feel so slow, even after all this time I still have days where I don't clock out until 9 or 10 AM. I am so very frustrated, unhappy, and disappointed. Some days I think this whole path was one big mistake.

newbyRN2 · Sep 29, 2011

I too wonder how the more experienced nurses can get out on time and sit around and chat. I run myself ragged with no meal breaks and still get out 2 hours late every evening. I do see some experienced nurses getting out late at times also.
Thanks for letting me vent...................

Some of the more experienced nurses have better time management skills. I observe them and ask them advice often. I have also noticed after 1&1/2 yr experience that some of them skimp on pt care and charting. Some hectic nights my charting may suffer, but I couldn't live with myself if I ignored a patient so that I could get charting done. I'm still figuring it all out, but you do somehow begin to find a balance.

Dixie2011 · Oct 12, 2011

I'm so glad I found this thread. I am a second career nurse who graduated in May. I just completed my first week on the floor and I feel like I'm the worst nurse ever. My preceptor is nice, but at times she makes me feel stupid for asking questions and can be a little short with me. I get that these things are pretty basic to her, but I just want to make sure that I am doing everything right. My main issue is that I have no confidence, I am so scared that I wil do something wrong and it will hurt the patient. So I double guess and hesitate on everything... How do I build my confidence?? I'm just scared that I'm not going to be a good nurse.

nsue · Oct 24, 2011

I promise you things will get better, the 6 month mark is when things fall into place and one day you will sit somewhere and suddenly you realise 'I actually know what I am doing' and a lovely peace will come over you. You are not far away now.

In that case I can't wait for the 6 mo mark! At this point I just want to crawl under a rock! I am not confident in my decisions and am overwhelmed! The only thing that keeps me going is telling myself that no matter what the world isn't going to end! I just need to take on one task at a time and I'll get through it! Of course the more seasoned nurses have alot to do with how I feel about myself. Instead of looking at me like I am an idiot they could offer to help!

Anyway encouragement helps and the idea that it will get better will keep me going!

Thanks!

nsue · Oct 24, 2011

I'm so glad I found this thread. I am a second career nurse who graduated in May. I just completed my first week on the floor and I feel like I'm the worst nurse ever. My preceptor is nice, but at times she makes me feel stupid for asking questions and can be a little short with me. I get that these things are pretty basic to her, but I just want to make sure that I am doing everything right. My main issue is that I have no confidence, I am so scared that I wil do something wrong and it will hurt the patient. So I double guess and hesitate on everything... How do I build my confidence?? I'm just scared that I'm not going to be a good nurse.

You are not alone! I feel the same way! I know we look dumb for asking questions but who cares! We are just trying to do the right thing. I am over 50 and a new grad, I know that it takes me 2x longer to learn than some young people which makes me feel even more stupid!

I think if we just do our best and fake it til we make it, we will get better and gain confidence! I love this group because it looks like we all have basically the same issues. All we want is to be good nurses and we don't feel like we are there yet!

nsue · Oct 24, 2011

All exellent advice thanks! I think one mistake that I make is telling others I don't feel confident...I am going to watch that from now on.

nsue · Oct 24, 2011

I have been on my own for awhile now, and I am nearing the end of my "probation" in about a couple of weeks...
I still love my job, but I still can't help the fact that I always feel like I'm forgetting to do something, or if I'm "missing something." It's like a constant state of anxiety. That part sucks!

I always feel like I am forgetting something or that I didn't do something. The anxiety it terrible and I lose alot of sleep over it....rehashing it in my mind and evaluating the decisions I made. I just hope it gets better!

turnforthenurse, MSN, NP · Oct 25, 2011

I always feel like I am forgetting something or that I didn't do something. The anxiety it terrible and I lose alot of sleep over it....rehashing it in my mind and evaluating the decisions I made. I just hope it gets better!

I have been told with time, it will. Hang in there. :heartbeat

Dixie2011 · Oct 26, 2011

You are not alone! I feel the same way! I know we look dumb for asking questions but who cares! We are just trying to do the right thing. I am over 50 and a new grad, I know that it takes me 2x longer to learn than some young people which makes me feel even more stupid!
I think if we just do our best and fake it til we make it, we will get better and gain confidence! I love this group because it looks like we all have basically the same issues. All we want is to be good nurses and we don't feel like we are there yet!

Thanks nsue! It is nice to know I'm not alone. And your right, this is our time to ask questions, so I'm going to ask questions and do my best and hopefully things start to come together. That's all I can do, take it one day at a time and then hopefully before I know it I'll have the "it is all coming together" moment I keep hearing about! :) Also, I think I need to spend more time celebrating my successes (however small they are) instead of spending all of my time focusing on my shortcomings.

turnforthenurse, MSN, NP · Oct 28, 2011

I had my first RSI very recently. My own patient. I had this patient before without any problems and the patient was fine up until the event leading up to the RSI. I was doing my rounding/assessments and walked into the patient's room. Their SO was helping the patient to the bathroom. Patient was steady on their feet. I asked if they needed help and they said no, everything was fine, so I told them I would be back in a little bit. I was sitting right outside the patient's room doing some charting and I heard a bunch of yelling/screaming so I sprang up and ran into the room and there the patient was, half-way into bed, seizing. Another nurse was right next door and came in and I told the CNA to go get help and call rapid. We propped the patient up on their side. Seizure maybe lasted 3-5 minutes max. No previous history of seizures. The only "problem" this patient had was HTN. Anyway, the patient was still breathing and still had a pulse, but was really working to breathe...sats were dropping to the 70's, then 60's...so we had to do an RSI. After a CT we learned the patient had a brain hemorrhage and was shipped out

I just keep wondering if there was something I may have missed that lead up to this. Obviously the HTN, and it was elevated for awhile (DBP >100) before I even took care of this patient, but when I did the DBP was more under control. SBP averaged 160's-170's before it was time for BP meds but the meds brought everything down. The patient did not exhibit any signs of increased ICP - no change in LOC or anything. Occasionally nauseous, but nausea is such a vague symptom. It was just one moment the patient was fine and the next moment they were not...

Pediatric Critical Care Columnist · Oct 28, 2011

Long-term hypertension weakens blood vessels, especially smaller ones. That's one of the reasons we treat it so aggressively. Of course the meds brought everything down, but think for a minute about where and how you measure BP. The patient is seated or in bed and remains still while the cuff deflates because movement causes artifact and then it all just takes longer. Right? So there's really no way to know what the BP does when the patient gets up to the bathroom and perhaps Valsalvas on the commode, other than in theory... it goes UP, along with ICP! How high? Who knows. This patient was at high risk for just such a catastrophe. You could no more have predicted its exact moment of arrival any more than you could have prevented it. What matters here is that you responded promptly and performed competently and calmly until help arrived. Good job!

gingersnapsRN · Oct 28, 2011

Thank you to whomever started this thread!:) I am a new grad in my first month of my first job! I knew it would be difficult, but I find it more challenging from not having an outlet to talk about all I am been bombarded with physically and emotionally as I begin this new career. Thanks to all those that have posted already, I find strength and comfort knowing I am not alone.

I have begun my career in a SNF. The charge is good about giving me help (if she is in a good mood). :rolleyes: I have my good days and bad ones. Hopefully slowly but surely things will start to come together.

Physically, I am worn out. With charting being new an 8 hr shift turns into a 10 by the time I am done. I sleep alot, and when I sleep, I wake up tense cause I dream that I am signing MARs or walking down the hall towards a Rsdt's room and can't remember why. :confused: I know wierd! I used to have dreams like that in nursing school when I was stressed. I am trying to work out, but I am so tired it is difficult at times.

Emotionally, it is hard at times to keep it together. I have lost it and bawled my eyes out a couple times (in private) from comments of a nurse that I pass on report to:crying2:. She has 20+ years experience and has limited patience for the new grads (the other new grad works the hall adjacent to me). Her comments hurt because they are tainted with the undertones of criticizing my competence. I asked her once after a difficult day if it was this hard when she started out, she looked me square in the eye and said "no, nursing came natural for me, you seem to struggle much more than I did starting out." What a comment to cut down the little confidence you have.

I feel like other nurses whom have made comments, I doubt myself alot and that can show through to others easily. I try faking it but it is hard when you are unsure if you are making the best judgement call. I think I am going to keep a journal not only to vent but to look back to see what it is I am doing that is good or bad.