A new grad, young nurse landed her DREAM job. Or what she thought would be her dream job in ICU. After orientation and on her own, she quit and said she thought she was dangerous and could kill a patient. The training was poor and the bullying was second to worst I have seen. That day she went home and gave up her life. Later, her parents notified the floor/ unit.
Now, obviously not every nurse under these circumstances has the same outcome. But, what can be done to change the (mean-girl- middle school) culture on floor? Who do you complain to? Who recognizes this as an issue with not just that nurse but many whom have left the floor for the same reasons?
How do you cope, who should be there to help nurses cope? Has this happened where you work?
sevensonnets - I'm confused as to who needs to learn coping skills? The girl who killed herself?
If your referring to me I'm just trying to address potential life stressors she could have been going through to make sense of it, I'm trying to explain that she maybe she didn't just end her life because she was a millennial and could not cope because she was coddled too much, as some of you are assuming. People don't seem to want to have an open and productive discussion but instead make it too personal. I said nothing of my ability to cope or not cope, don't assume.
Anyway is their anyone who works in the mental health field that can address this?? I feel some of the people on here are just going to continue to argue with me because I'm somehow offending people by saying we should be nicer to others and trying to explain a millennial/new nurse POV...
Ruby Vee "Fourth, you seem to misunderstand workplace relationships. I personally don't know of any experienced nurses who make a practice of being ruthless with new nurses. I have seen an experienced nurse or two be ruthless with new nurses who made mistakes endangering patients which for which the new nurses failed to take responsibility or with new nurses who failed to learn despite multiple efforts to teach. I'm sure that there are a few ruthless experienced nurses out there, but the fact that you claim to be so intimately aquainted with them leads me to believe that perhaps you have had difficulty catching on, taking ownership or accepting responsibility.
Fifth, you don't seem to understand that you're not the only generation to have problems. Perhaps millenials have life tougher than Boomers, Gen X or the Great Generation. I doubt it, but let's assume that you are at least partially correct there. Most of us developed coping skills which the millenials seem to lack. Not all millenials, but many, many of them."
I don't know where your getting this from, you don't want to assume things about the incident based on the info the OP gave but you have no problem assuming and PROJECTING that i'm "not catching on" based on your own anecdotal experience. Also I have not said once I was personally bullied.
I've seen bully type nurses here and there. For ex) a fellow student was yelled at in front of patients and staff for not making the bed as soon as the staff nurse told her to, she took a couple minutes to finish up documenting instead of jumping when the nurse said jump. It was embarrassing to watch. There is potential for power struggles and bullying in nursing, how can you deny that with all the complaints and posts on this website? Not all of them are minor. However this DOESN'T mean I'm saying ALL people on here are bullies... how would I know that? Why would you take it personal that I would want to address bullying though? Especially in a thread that mentioned it in the OP?
Also never said the majority of my interactions were negative... I just believe in being an advocate.
I never mentioned the Great Gen. Lastly there seems to be a lot of prejudice about millennials or in other words the young people on here. I'm out.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Yes. This.
These days anything that doesn't automatically go their way is called bullying. Being an older highly experienced nurse, or being too busy to answer every question like what's the number to the pharmacy, or going off in the corner of the break room to eat one's sandwich in peace and quiet---heck, even the look on someone's face means they're a bully! I'm going into my 37th year of nursing and have never been bullied or seen bullying in either of the two hospitals I've worked in. Where did I learn about it? Right here on AN! Somebody needs to learn some coping skills.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Anyways why is me saying something like be a kinder human being to others something that needs to be argued? I'm just take people should consider the power of their words, and that no one knows what someone is going through in any circumstance or environment.
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Because we don't need you to tell us this. We already know. Yet you keep harping it.
Why do you think I'm speaking in to you or any of you directly like your the bad guys? I'm just trying to have a discussion I don't understand why any of you are taking it as a personal insult, If it's something you already know than good for you...
It's seems obvious what I'm saying it's just sometimes people forget the simple things, and again no I'm not talking about any of you directly.
"Somebody needs to learn some coping skills" is a passive aggressive statement. Who needs to learn some coping skills?
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
"Somebody needs to learn some coping skills" is a passive aggressive statement. Who needs to learn some coping skills?
Not always. It's most often solid advice. But I thought you were done discussing this?
As for me, most often, I cope fine; I am able to handle the stress at work and at home (and believe me, without giving away too much personally----- when I tell you my home life was horrible for 3 years, as well as starting a new job which was stressful and rough), so I know a thing or two about stress/coping. Some of us cope; others don't. It's not for nurses to figure out who among their coworkers have poor coping skills. It's almost always about much more than the JOB when they DO succumb to suicide. It is a tragedy, but not of our making.
I wont say much more. I didn't really want a back and forth I just wanted to state my POV but maybe my wording was too aggressive I'm not sure.
One last thing, I feel like we should leave this in a positive note, so I have open questions to ALL. Since we are talking about coping skills. What are good coping skills? How do you get them? What does good coping skills mean to you? Most importantly, what do you do to cope?
Maybe this will be a more productive conversation rather than focusing on generational differences. Maybe it will help people having a hard time coping who find this thread, and help put things into perspective.
I also never had my mother call my preceptor to talk to her about how I was being treated.
Wait-are you saying a mother of one of the nurses you precepted actually called you to complain about how you were treating her child?! Please tell you me you told her that you don't discuss this subject with anyone but the actual employee.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Wait-are you saying a mother of one of the nurses you precepted actually called you to complain about how you were treating her child?! Please tell you me you told her that you don't discuss this subject with anyone but the actual employee.
I was shocked the first time I heard about that -- but it's happened so frequently where I work that it's almost a thing now.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
So how is it handled? Hopefully not by enabling the parent caller.
I refer the parent to my manager . . . and she explains to them that she hired their SON or DAUGHTER, not them, and that any communication between herself and her employee's parent for the purpose of handling the employees problems or requests at work is inappropriate. The employee should be handling any problems or requests on his or her own. Some of the parents escalate and threaten to "have your job" or "to call my good friend, the CEO of your hospital." My manager tells them that the CEO doesn't make out the schedule, assign the preceptors or control individual raises -- or whatever else the problem might be. She reiterates that the employee should handle these issue personally, and then wishes them a nice day before she hangs up on them.
I refer the parent to my manager . . . and she explains to them that she hired their SON or DAUGHTER, not them, and that any communication between herself and her employee's parent for the purpose of handling the employees problems or requests at work is inappropriate. The employee should be handling any problems or requests on his or her own. Some of the parents escalate and threaten to "have your job" or "to call my good friend, the CEO of your hospital." My manager tells them that the CEO doesn't make out the schedule, assign the preceptors or control individual raises -- or whatever else the problem might be. She reiterates that the employee should handle these issue personally, and then wishes them a nice day before she hangs up on them.
Ash2016
20 Posts
sevensonnets - I'm confused as to who needs to learn coping skills? The girl who killed herself?
If your referring to me I'm just trying to address potential life stressors she could have been going through to make sense of it, I'm trying to explain that she maybe she didn't just end her life because she was a millennial and could not cope because she was coddled too much, as some of you are assuming. People don't seem to want to have an open and productive discussion but instead make it too personal. I said nothing of my ability to cope or not cope, don't assume.
Anyway is their anyone who works in the mental health field that can address this?? I feel some of the people on here are just going to continue to argue with me because I'm somehow offending people by saying we should be nicer to others and trying to explain a millennial/new nurse POV...