Stupidest reason to go to ER

[DachRN]

ER Nurses/MD's etc.

I am currently writing a "paper" on stupidest reason for someone to come to ER.

ANY input you can send me would be much appreciated. IF you'd like a copy of the FINAL draft, let me know.

THANKS in advance!

PS. My winning entry so far is:

A woman who brought 1 month old baby in at 2:30 (AM of course) because "it won't look me in the eye, It doesn't recognize me!"

Not kidding

[lorita]

:nono:Whats really scarry is they were given foster children, ya gota wonder!

Teenager with menstrual cramps. I'm not talking debilitating cramps. I'm talking just plain, old first day of your period cramps. Sitting on stretcher eating Doritos, drinking Coke, and texting while waiting for results of CT of abd/pelvis, UCG, HCG, CBC, CMP, etc. to determine, yep, she's on her period. What ever happened to taking Midol?? When did cramps become a reason for Nubain/Phenergan??

Recall of a national brand peanut butter for E-coli. I have a jar of this in my cabinet. Have you eaten any of it recently? No. Are you nauseous/vomiting/diarrhea? No. Have you recently had any gastric upset? No. I just saw the recall on the news and thought I better come get checked out.

What kind of problem are you having today? I've got crabs. Okay. How long have you had them? Six months. All righty then. I turn to the girlfriend he has brought with him, who has ALSO checked in (for chest pain x3 years) and ask, should we examine you for crabs also? No, ma'am. I watch them real close and whenever I get some, I pick them off. Okey-dokey. The doctor will be riiight in.

Another couple comes in. He has staph boil on his finger. She has one on her labia. But they don't know its staph and they've been doing some SERIOUS thinking about what might have caused this. They have recently taken in a teenage foster child who just happens to have genital herpes. The foster daughter MUST have been fooling around with the dog; there's no other way. The dog then licked the husband's hand, who passed it onto the wife when they were having sex. Man! Did they owe that dog an apology!

Yep...you guess it. There IS a lot of inbreeding in my neck of the woods.

[lorita]

Well was it one of those rabit vibraters? Just kidding!

Triage Nurse: Can I help you?

Patient: Hi, I have a dildo stuck up my rectum and the energizer batteries keep going.. going.. and going... Can you help me?

In fact, they kept going and going long after the device was removed in the OR. How do I know this? Well because the thoughtful OR staff was kind enough to update the ER staff of the patient's continuing progress of course!

We thought it would make for a great energizer bunny TV commercial! What do you think?

[brookorrn]

I don't think that's really for you to say or not, it's what works with each individual area. Perhaps because this is not true in my area is the reason we have a minor treatment area in our ER. With the frowth in our community, no primary care physicians for adults are accepting new patients.

And this, just sounds rude to me. Yes, there are silly reasons to go to the ER, but when you don't have a PCP and have an illness that needs medication, medical attention or something that has the potential to worsen into something serious it is not irresponsible to seek medical attention. It is taking responsibility for yourself.

I have to agree. I cannot stand people that talk about someone else being "responsible" when it comes to medical care. A person can plan and plan and plan for unforeseen medical emergencies or medical illnesses, but if you have just recently lost a job, or have used up any savings you had for another family emergency.....they may not be prepared. I had three major surgeries in one year.....lost two businesses, a house, and a brand new car. No matter what, we could not have saved up enough money for those surgeries.........not all in one year. And to top it off, my own sister told me "you are irresponsible because you did not plan for it".......how stupid, cold and callous is that??????......needless to say, I will never speak to her again for it.

[jojotoo, RN]

Hcg also exists in male urine and can sometimes trigger a false positive in a preggo test.

This is sometimes related to testicular disease but it's most likely caused from certain male enhancing drugs that increase Hcg levels in males. It seems the use of male enhancing drugs have become very popular lately. It's noteworthy to indicate that some males with low testosterone can exhibit unusual levels of Lh. Lh and Hcg are virtually identical in terms of their molecular structure.

My Best.

Very nice explanation.

[mozart]

cases that i have encountered when i was in ER...to say a few;

1. i have pimple- how stupid is that?

2. waiting patients with cold cases e.g. fever, question me when he'll be seen by a doctor after waiting for few hours and at the same time there were several patients just arrived with a post road accident (severely)!!! - is he blind or something?

3. most annoying of all, patient with munchausen syndrome!!! they really make as if its so real that some time we happen to believe them! how hilarious....

the thing is, ER is still an ER, patients usually expect to be seen ASAP...but they didnt realise cases like MI, RTAs, multiple injuries patients etc should be there instead of the minor cases...they would never understand...

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

just so you can get an drs note for a day off.

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

and to do so you take the ambulance ride in so you dont have to wait out at triage

[soapaddictOH]

A lady who came in for a big bump on her ankle. She had xrays done and everything. Then when it started itching she figured out she had been bitten by some kind of bug. If I hadn't been there I wouldn't believe it myself.

[soapaddictOH]

and to do so you take the ambulance ride in so you dont have to wait out at triage

OR when they are listening to the squad calling report and we tell them to take the patient to triage, they all of a sudden have chest pain. :smackingf

[soapaddictOH]

The other one I LOVE is toothache. You do an assessment and they have 3 teeth left in their mouth, 2 of them are half rotten and the other one is on it's way out. They are spitting copious amounts of saliva in a styrofoam cup because they can't swallow.

Gag. Go to a dentist.

[erinbethg]

"I need my IUD removed. Oh yea, do yall do pap smears" -not kidding

[Lurksalot, BSN, RN]

"I have disfavor"

"I need a mammogram"

and of course, "I need a pregnancy test"