Student Bullying

[rambleandwrite]

I have a question...how to deal with student bullying. I am an older student and have over 20 years as an LPN. I have encountered a problem at the school I am attending to finish my BSN/MSN. One day I made the comment that I didn't feel that one of my fellow students behaviors were professional. Well, low and behold this person turned around and threatened "to kill me". At first I ignored it but then I found out by other students that they were inquiring where I lived and that they bragged about having a concealed weapon. Now that got my blood moving....I went to the Dean and complained about this person's behaviour. To this date the school has done nothing about it. I did go to the local police department to file a complaint...just in case. Well, this person is still saying unethical things about me to my fellow students. I have had no interaction with this person since the first event. I was recently called in by the Dean saying she heard rumors that I was telling people outside the school about my situation. They then said that if I didn't stop I may not be able to finish the program. I am upset by their stance. I was again expressed my frustration with this issue and was once again told it wasn't a big deal. I know in a working environment this type of behavior would not be tolerated. What do I do now? I have one semester left to finish the BSN and then 3 semesters left for the MSN. Any suggestions out there?

[Cilantrophobe]

If you want to stir up problems for yourself take the advice of others on here- call the news stations & go above the deans head to report this problem, complain to the instructor, ect. Read a few posts on here and you will realize that going about the dean's head is the surest way to cause A LOT of trouble for yourself!

:twocents:My advice:

let it go! Fall below the radar! Lay low!

There is nothing wrong with going above the Dean's head as long as you talk to her about doing so before actually doing so. It's called working the chain of command. But as we are seeing, this entire story is most likely bogus.

[rambleandwrite]

I am sorry that some of you feel my story is bogus. It is not a lie or made up. Yes, I tried to go through the chain of command as taught by the military. When the President and Dean of the university refused to take my complaint as being real, various classmates went on my behalf to show not only their concern but as witnesses to the fact. Two of my classmates were told by the individual that they would do what they could to "mess me up professionally". This individual was asked to leave a prior program before coming to this one. The person on the outside is a fellow professional, who knows many individuals in the medical community. I expressed to them my frustration and disappointment about how this matter was handled. They advised me to do what I have already done. They did say "don't rock the boat" because I am close to graduating. That is the person who went to the Assistant Dean and expressed a concern on my behalf. Two days later I was called in to the Dean's office and told to drop it (they would hate for me not to complete the program) was their words. One of the posts came from one of my classmates...we can't identify the school or area at this time because of fear of repercussion from administration. I asked my classmates what they thought about posting this on the site...some were for it, some weren't. It is hard to understand someone elses position. And as noted already I have been accussed of lying and not being forthcoming. I have waited 20 years to complete this degree...I have spent close to 70k to complete and I hate not being able to pressure them into doing the right thing. I am sleighted to do the MSN with this school but am not sure if I will at this point.

The individual who threatened me, did so because I stated that their behaviors were unprofessional. They lie about every event that takes place. Hardly anyone in our class associates with this person because of their behaviors. There is only one person who sits by this individual while were in class. Administration is very much aware of their behavior but does little to control it. At this point I feel it has to do with money. I have had no interaction with this person since the event took place but still this person continues their negative behavior towards me-verbally.

I am not going to apologize to anyone for trying to complete program with the least amount of stress. But I will contact the state board when I am done and give them the documentation and let them decide if they want to do anything against the school or the individual. Oh, on that subject are school has provisional status right now.

I would like to thank the one's who did support me. Thank You.

[Daytonite, BSN, RN]

take your evidence against this person and file with the local court for a order of protection against them. the civil court is the next step in the chain of command above the dean and the president of the university. with a court order in your hands, the person has to refrain from harassing you or you report them and they get arrested. the dean and the president of the university have no say in what the police do to keep the peace if this "bully" refuses to obey the police. problem solved. why you haven't done this suggests that you don't know the chain of command, are trying to avoid working within the legal system yourself, or the evidence that they are harassing you doesn't exist.

[cjcsoon2bnp, MSN, RN, NP]

If I were you I would make a journal detailing interactions with this person make sure to include the dates and describe specifically what happened (include any previous interactions as well as anything that happens from now on.) Because your school has mentioned that this could threaten your status in the nursing program I would speak to a lawyer and find out exactly what steps need to be taken to ensure your personal safety and placement in the nursing program. Since we're not allowed to offer legal advice on this forum so I would suggest that you consult a lawyer and I will leave it at that. Good luck!

!Chris

[Rylee2008, ASN, RN]

I can't believe the school would allow her to stay. At the school I attend a student got a drunk driving and they wouldn't allow her to finish because it looked bad on them. The threat of violence should always be taken seriously. Haven't they ever heard of all the school shootings taking place!

[spenmom]

I think I can speak for Ramble and Write when I say that this school seems to be a law unto themselves. For example, there have been many proven instances of student cheating, and those students are still here (even after being caught cheating 2-3 times). The person who has done the threatening has been well known by students and faculty (as well as the dean) to fabricate outrageous, defamatory stories about instructors and students alike, yet the only thing that has happened was a discussion with said student about "professional behavior."

Basically, it is my opinion that the administration is sick of this trouble-maker, yet lacks the balls (can I say that?) to act for the welfare of the whole class. It's all about $$, and with each semester costing as much as a basic car, each student counts when it comes to the school's future expansion plans (which are substantial)

It's galling that we as students are constantly lectured and reminded about the importance of professional behavior and making professional/moral decisions that are not easy, yet they allow themselves to sweep unprofessional behavior under the rug when it suits them.

Ramble and Write is one who keeps to herself and doesn't seek out conflict. Not only is she emotionally too grown up to mess around with the silly shenanigans that occur in nursing school among the females, but she has a goal, wants to achieve it, and isn't going to let stupid stuff get in the way. I've gone to bat for her with the powers that be, only to find myself later stripped of a great position that would have helped me professionally a great deal. So, all I can say is that this is a mess, Ramble and Write isn't making anything up- if anything she's downplaying things, as giving too much information could out her to the admin and put an early end to her hard work to become an RN.

She will be getting a lawyer, even if I have to drag her to one, because this needs to be addressed. In the future, I will refuse to work with this particular student (the unprofessional one), and many already have in clinical, because nursing is based on trust, and when someone spouts 3 lies for every truth, do you really want to take their word for how much narcotic they administered/wasted, or what interventions they performed for a patient? She has no business practicing, and there will be something, I am sure, that comes up which prevents her from doing so (at least I pray for this daily).

Thank you to those of you who gave constructive advice, like about keeping written track of encounters, seeking out a lawyer, etc. I think these have been done partially, but with reinforcement from those of you who were helpful enough to post, it will become more of an imperative.

Best of luck to you all-- happy nursing, and may your next shift not involve any vomit!-- at least not on you.

[DaFreak71]

Sorry you're going through this. Nursing school can be a VERY dysfunctional place to be (the job too lol). You've gotten some good feedback (ignore the "your story is illogical" and "you must not be telling us everything" comments). Regarding the whole "head down and mouth shut" advice, that's a great way to let situations like this continue to go unchecked.

I wish I could offer you some concrete advice about how to handle this emotionally. People who bully (or threaten) are generally people who feel threatened or have low self esteem. They derive some sort of pleasure in seeing others being afraid. If you find yourself cowering or acting afraid in the presence of this person, that's probably their payoff.

If it's any consolation, I think that because you've been vocal about it (filed a police report, have taken it to the school, etc) this person is on notice and they'd have to be flat out retarded or a pure psychopath to follow through on their threat. After all, who do you think the cops are going to pay a visit to first? It's just mental intimidation. If they keep chattering about threatening you, I'd carry a voice recorder and every time this person walked in my direction I'd hit the record button. That eliminates the whole "she said/she said" business once and for all. Most cell phones have this function or you can purchase an inexpensive one.

I hope things get better for you. PM me for further advice on how to deal with this person. ; )

[Blueorchid, ASN, RN]

As an afterthought, if people know your username on allnurses.com...its quite possible that's the way the administration has learned you're sharing your thoughts about your situation outside the school. Maybe another user account could help? Good luck with everything

[DaFreak71]

As an afterthought, if people know your username on allnurses.com...its quite possible that's the way the administration has learned you're sharing your thoughts about your situation outside the school. Maybe another user account could help? Good luck with everything

VERY VERY TRUE!!!! I know first hand that a few of the instructors at my school trolled the forum for this express purpose. In fact, a student told another student about allnurses, told this person their user name, then told the instructors about it and it was all downhill from there. Sad thing is, the student who posted on this forum was just asking an innocent question about a procedure and when other posters answered it (and it went against what was taught in class) this student was treated....very harshly. Gotta be careful about what ya post online. Or who you share your forums with lol.

[Scorpio,LPN]

WOW! My blood is boilng right now! UNACCEPTABLE! It's kind of scary to say but if this "person" takes any action to put you in harms way call the police, press charges and contact the board yourself, to have made it this far she must hold some license right? Get her revoked! As far as the school, if something is impeding your learning enviroment its a no brainer that something should be done, finish what you've got to do but on the principal of the situation I would contact a attorney. If someone made threats like that at my school they would be kicked out of the program. What business does a person like this have taking care of other people, what happens if an elderly patient or someone not able to defend themselves upsets this person. WOW, I'm so sorry you have to put up with that, I'm shocked! I'd let everyone know, that way people would think twice about attending that school. I agree with the person who wrote "get a hold of the media" newspaper whatever!