Struggling to get Assertive

[bunnyRGN]

Hello fellow nurses- any advice for a nurse with two years experience who is still struggling to get assertive? When members of nursing management or a doctor or some other members of the hospital higherarcy ask me something about a patient like... whats their history? or when was their last seizure? I clam up totally my mind goes blank I stutter and stammer and have to take out my paper where I have the info written down even then I'm still not sure then they ask me more questions. but alot of the time I find as soon as the person quizzing me leaves I find I do know the info but I can never seem to give them the answers when they want and if /I hesitate at all in my response I get accused of 'guessing' my answers. I look like an idiot and whats worse is then some of the higherarcy will deliberately pick on me again the next time they are on the ward to see do I know my patients well. I know that this quizzing is actually good for me it causes me to think more and link together aspects of patient care and ultimately if I improve my knowledge and capabilites it will benefit my patients. However I feel my own nervousness when speaking to these other staff members draws negative attention to me and makes me look incompetent. I feel it is my own fault as I have quite a passive personality and it is in my nature to be unassertive. When I was a student I was miles more confident and was very sure of myself. I don't know what has happened to me I think I have lost my nerve

Any wise words would be much appreciated

[KattyRN]

I may be naive about the environment, but I don't see anything wrong with having to conswult notes.....Professionals do it all the time, even in healthcare....Admitte4dly, I am not a nurse, so could someone tell me if this practice of looking at notes, etc WOULD be some sort of major faux paus?

I don't really think there's anything wrong with looking at notes but I had one incident with a clinical instructor who made it seem like it was a bad thing. I was doing a postpartum mom/baby assessment and I stopped to write down some number for vitals and she told me not to. She said to just put the number in my head and keep going with the assessment. This really threw me off because I didn't see what the big deal was and it's practically impossible for me to remember all the numbers I need to remember accurately without writing them down. I guess that one incident had me a little iffy about taking notes but now I don't care.

[jlbic]

I think it is normal to feel intimidated when put on the spot. Most doctors are in a big hurry and that also puts you on the spot to give them a large amount of info in a small amount of time. Do you work days or nights? When I worked nights, my contact with the docs was minimal, and mostly to wake up the on-call for an order(which can be highly unpleasant). Once I switched to days and got to know the doctors better, I began to feel more confident talking with them. Just remember, you know your patient better than they do in most cases and you are a medical professional just like they are. Try not to put them on a pedestal, and its ok to admit that you don't know something and that you need a moment to look it up. Hospital politics can be really demeaning to nurses, but don't let it get to you. Remember, your patients safety is the most important thing, and you arent there to be quizzed or belittled, you are there to help your patients.

[pielęgniarka, RN]

When you are asked a question, take a deep breath, smile and say "Sure, let me check my notes (or chart or MAR)" and then give your reply. I do this every day.

[mamamerlee, LPN]

Look for a Toastmasters club in your town. This is a group of people who meet usually monthly, sometimes more often, and give little 'speeches' to each other. Sometimes they hav a known topic, other times, it's spontaneous. It will help you be less nervous and appear more confident.

And if you see a person who might ask you some questions, approach them FIRST with 'Is there anything you'd like to know about Mr X?' That way you are in charge!!

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

assertiveness comes with education, experience and self-confidence. at two years, you've got just a tiny speck of experience . . . whatever some of the twenty-somethings with two years of experience might tell you. it takes life experience as well as nursing experience to be confident of what you know and of how to say what you need to say.

it's ok to use your notes to answer the question. i still use mine, after all of these years, because i find that i have difficulty remembering anything i haven't written down. use whatever aids you need to use to organize the information into a framework in which you understand what's going on with your patient and can both think critically and report the information in context.

good luck -- i'm hoping your confidence grows as your experience does!

[NocturneNrse]

I know what you mean. And I would TOTALLY use the name BUNNY at work.. if someone doesn't like it.. sc*ew 'em! LOL

There are about 3 nurses who intimidate me.. well, not really, they're just loud and fault finding about EVERYTHING and make it known to everyone in the nurses station during report. I'm putting my foot down about this on Monday. I've also found myself stammering, and questioning the care I'd given my patients b/c of their undermining. What is helping me, is going to be my confronting them about this. Just VALUE yourself and your work! It's OKAY to read from your paper! You have many different patients with many different ailments.. you CANT remember it all!!! Think of how many times the doctor has to "go over" the patients history before giving you a med order etc.. Keep thinking WE'RE ALL HUMAN.. and GOOD LUCK to you! I've quit being a victim as of yesterday! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!

:redbeathe

[PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN]

I know what you mean. And I would TOTALLY use the name BUNNY at work.. if someone doesn't like it.. sc*ew 'em! LOL

There is nothing wrong with the name Bunny.

This is a post about becoming assertive.

If you know of any physicians or top administrators that go around with the name "Honey" "Cutie" "Sweetiepie" "Lovely" "Chickey Baby" "Baby"...

Let me know.

I am known by my first AND last name and I don't let anyone address me without my "allowing" them to address me other than the name I've said to them.

Professionalism is the HALLMARK of assertiveness, it also tells your patients, peers, supervisors, et all--YOU MEAN BUSINESS.