Struggling in basic Chem, unsure of my future in Nursing

[Kellcat]

I'm a freshman at a really good nursing school. For the most part, I like it here. I'm in my fourth week of school and I haven't had any real exams yet.

In my first week, I thought chemistry was going to be fun. It's a Survey of Chemistry, so it's all relevant to nursing and it's pretty interesting. However....

I had one quiz today, worth 25 points, and I didn't answer a single question. I saw the paper and I just froze-- like, unbelievably frozen. I've never felt anything like it, except for maybe a few times in my junior year of highschool. I didn't answer a single question on this quiz. Not one. The first question was something about the number of protons and neutrons of an element-- something FIVE YEAR OLDS can figure out, and I just stared at it like an IDIOT.

The crappy part is that I sort of am an idiot. Now I know everyone's gonna be like "don't be negative like that, blah blah" but truthfully, I'm actually very idiotic. I ALWAYS struggled with school. Somehow my brain just can't retain basic information. I tell myself that I'm just lazy, but even when I study it doesn't seem to work. It's like no matter how hard I focus, the knowledge just won't stick.

I talked to my chem professor after class, told her what happened, and she just stared at me and then said, word for word: "Have you ever been evaluated for a learning disability? You should stop by the academic support office."

Now I'm starting to think that maybe I struggle so much because I have some sort of mental issue. The worst part is that even if I did have some issue that could be fixed by academic support, my parents wouldn't pay for it. Not gonna happen.

I'm not sure how I even got into Nursing school. All I ever hear from the professors is how this class freshman class is overqualified, and that's why it's the largest freshman class ever, etc etc. One of the professors even said how everyone in the freshman class had extremely excellent Advance Placement and Honors experience. I have neither of those two things, because my school didn't have AP or Honors. You know what I have? ART. Now I know that sounds crazy, but I taught myself anatomy through art, and it worked. I love art, and I'm not ashamed. I wrote my application essay about it. On one hand, I'm thinking that someone in the nursing department read it and thought "wow, that's neat, she sounds like she's worth our time" and then on the other hand, I'm thinking that my acceptance must've been a mistake or something, because i don't fit in with the other girls and I don't seem to fit their profile of the perfect nursing student.

On my first day, I tried connecting with some other girls in the nursing program. We were all talking about our backgrounds and what got us into nursing and I said "art" and everyone was all awkward. People kept saying things like "why aren't you just an art major then?" or "that's so cool, sorry you don't have any CNA experience though."

It stinks because I don't even want to go into "normal" nursing-- my goal is to go into research, or something like that!! the only thing I've heard from professors and students since I got here is "not everyone is cut out for nursing". Yeah, no s--t! But saying that doesn't make better nursing students, it just makes people feel attacked!

TL'DR:

Yeah, I know this is long and I'm sorry.

1) my first chemistry quiz was a failure and I didn't answer any of the questions so I'll be getting a ZERO. My professor thinks I need serious help...?

2) I don't fit in. I don't feel like a nursing student. I just want to be ME, and I feel like this program is sucking my soul out.

2) I KNOW it's only going to get harder, and I KNOW nursing is not for everyone, but if we could just skip the "you're probably not cut out for it" speeches, that'd be great. I've definitely heard that enough over the past few years. I just want to graduate and look for an nice quiet research job. OR, HEY, maybe I won't even become a nurse! I just want to graduate with my BSN and say, "Yes. I did that." and then move on with my life. If nursing is what I do, then fine, but if it's not, that's cool too.

Anyway, man this is so long and I'm sorry for ranting. Thank you for reading if you get down this far.

[shibaowner, MSN, RN, NP]

Lots of nurses have art, music, theatre arts, etc., backgrounds. You are not alone.

Your instructor made a good suggestion - there is no shame in getting evaluated for a learning disability. If you have one, then you will get accommodations and at least will be able to work on any issue you have.

Some people just panic during tests. You can speak to your academic advisor to see if your school has programs to help students who suffer from this.

Most nurses struggle through chemistry. I did. Are you saying you didn't understand or learn anything during the class, or you just froze when you took the test? Those are 2 different things.

I also had a nontraditional background - I was a business executive before nursing school and I was a lot older than most of the other students. That bothered some of them, but I still made lots of friends, including 2 women who used to be artists! You will find your own circle of friends.

You definitely should speak to your academic advisor to discuss your concerns.

[Kellcat]

The problem with getting evaluated for a learning disability is that I can't pay for anything like that, and there's no way I could tell my parents. There's a decent chance they would stop paying for me to go to school (it's complicated).

I've never been told that I have a learning issue before, usually people just say that I'm lazy or I need to study more.

I just find it a little odd that I've never had anyone say that to me my whole life, and then within the first three weeks of college I'm told I should look into it. Wouldn't something like a learning disability be apparent much sooner in my life?

My issue with chemistry is that I took notes on the material and I feel like I know it, but without looking at my notes to be COMPLETELY sure, I'm unable to think. If I'm not 100% sure of the right answer, my whole mind goes blank and I can't answer. It seems to happen during tests and quizzes. I feel much better in the lab setting, and I tend to understand the material much better if it's not on a test.

It's probably just me panicking during the tests, but I've never heard of any way to fix that. I will look into it though. I reeeally wish I didn't worry so much.

Anyway, thank you for your response!

[shibaowner, MSN, RN, NP]

Hmmmm. Well, your parents don't need to know you got evaluated for a learning disability. I assume you are over 18? If so, your health is your private matter only. Please ask your academic advisor about this - your school may have a program so you can be evaluated. I'm assuming you have health insurance, so this should be covered, or your school may have an arrangement for low cost testing. It doesn't hurt to ask if it is covered and/or what the cost is. There is no shame - many famous and successful people had learning disabilities, including Einstein! Here is a link with some info:

How to Get Tested for a Learning Disability in College | Articles | Noodle

As far as test panic, that is common. A good friend of mine had the same issue in nursing school. He really knew the material, and I knew it because we studied together. He just blanked out on tests. He ended up having to repeat a couple of classes and graduated 1 semester later than the rest of us, but he was happy and much less stressed out. The school helped him out with some panic management programs and techniques. He went on to be a great RN. Here are some links on test anxiety:

Coping With Exam Anxiety

"I KNOW THE MATERIAL, BUT WHEN I TAKE THE TEST I GO BLANK!" | Stress | Resources | Counseling Services | Kansas State University

What causes mind blanks during exams?

Some common techniques to cope with anxiety include CBT, meditation, positive visualization, and breathing techniques. You can Google each of these. Personally, I'm a big believer in proper breathing and positive visualization.

Another possibility is that you just need to improve your memorization. Nursing requires a boatload of memorization and memorizing is a skill that can be improved.

An Ancient and Proven Way to Improve Memorization; Go Ahead and Try It - The New York Times

Great book - can buy on Amazon - Moonwalking with Einstein

Another memory aid is mnemonics. Google "chemistry mnemonics" or whatever subject you are interested in, and you will get a lot of hits. Mnemonics can also be visual, like funny cartoons. Since you are an artist, you may find such drawings helpful. Mnemonics cartoons are plentiful on youtube:

How to Remember 118 Chemical Elements Mnemonics - YouTube

Picmonic.com is worth checking out - you can try it for free and if you like it there is a small subscription fee

Picmonic® Picture Mnemonics for Nursing School, Medical School, Pharm, and more!

Khan Academy is another great website with lots of good short videos and mini lectures on many subjects, including chemistry.

Music can also be a memory aid. Here is a song to learn the periodic table:

Another possibility is that you just need better study habits overall. Personally, I just skated through my initial college and liberal arts undergrad. But when I started my nursing prereqs at age 50, I realized I had suboptimal study habits for sciences. In addition, although I love science, it was out of my "comfort zone." Most schools have free resources and programs to help students improve study skills. Again, ask your advisor. Here are some links:

How to Improve Your Study Skills (with Pictures) - wikiHow

What's Your Learning Style? 2

[ItsThatJenGirl, CNA]

Re: Studying:

I know this sounds weird, but have you ever tried color coding your notes? I, too, have problems with recall during tests - I'll know the material inside and out, but when it comes time to test over it, I'd draw a blank. Then I started color coding different topics and it helps me a lot. I can "see" the notes in my mind now because the colors are easier to visualize than just black and white. I'd also draw a bit and since art in your thing, it would likely help you, too. Something like this (but this isn't mine) - https://i.pinimg.com/736x/98/17/27/98172744bc15f3255f1027a674995f4e--study-notes-chemistry-biology-notes-studying.jpg

Chemistry isn't an easy class - but it is the first of many classes that you have to really work to figure out your learning style and studying appropriately. I used to just read and remember, but the concepts get more difficult and I had to be more creative in my studying.

Re: Learning disability - you don't have to get tested if you don't want to. You may very well have one (it's not a mental issue, by the way) but I don't think that freezing up during a quiz is a solid sign that you do. If you do get tested and you do have one, the testing will have helped you in the long run.

Re: Having no friends - it's only been four weeks. Give it time and make sure that you're making an effort, too. And there's no such thing as a "perfect" nursing student. Try to make sure you don't have a bit of a chip on your shoulder because you don't see yourself as a traditional nursing student.

Best of luck to you.

[matcha-cat]

I have pretty much the same problem as you. I've never really done well in school. I simply couldn't pay attention. I ALWAYS did bad in class because I could never stop day-dreaming. It wasn't until I got into high school (and decided I wanted to change) that I really started to evaluate why I was doing so much more poorly than my peers. I realized... I simply didn't know how to listen, and I didn't know how to learn.

I did somewhat well in high school. My sophomore year I actually pulled off all As and a B! Though after that might grades still varied from As and Bs and Cs. I tried too hard to learn, so I overcomplicated things instead of just making a connection. Learning how to drive a car is pretty easy, huh? But if I used the same tactic that I was using in high school to study, then I would never have learned how to drive a car.

I've been in and out of college, with my grades all varying. The classes where I could easily learn in school without studying I made As in. I basically either made As or failed.

Now, fast forward 3 years out of high school... I was diagnosed with ADD and Autism. I wish I had gotten diagnosed as a child so I could have gotten help and formed good study habits and a better mindset towards school work, but it came down to either I'm going to change myself, or I'm going to fall between the cracks and not do what I want with my career/life.

My doctor prescribed me an ADD medication that works really well (I had tried different ones in high school, but they never worked for me). It gives me this "mental energy" in order to stay focused. When I first started taking it, and I would skip a day's dose, I could see the ramifications quickly. I wouldn't feel like doing anything and my mind didn't want to "think hard". Now, I've been taking my medications for several months, but it's like it's trained my mind to be more articulate, detail-oriented, and productive even when I miss a few doses. Of course, I still do a lot better when I'm on it because again, it gives me this "mental energy" or alertness that I otherwise don't have. You should definitely look into talking with a psychiatrist and seeing if she/he can help with finding you a medication, possibly.

I'm doing much better now. In my summer CNA course, I pulled off an A+ because I studied! and I've actually always loved learning, but now I have the attention span to really do so. Medication alone won't help you- you have to learn how to learn and to be detail-oriented and productive. You have to train yourself and make yourself. A major thing for me was also changing my attitude. It took a long time, but I kept telling myself that I'm intelligent, that I can handle this work, and that I am going to be a nurse. It's mind-boggling how well self-confidence can influence your work. When there's something difficult that I need to learn, and I have the confidence that I can tackle it, I simply know that I'm going to learn it and I do, with over-analyzing it and coming out dumbfounded. I can't tell you how good it feels for me to finally be able to learn the math that I've spent my entire life struggling with.

Also, to help me maintain my interest while studying, I have to have things happening around me.. Small things, like having a burning candle, or having music, nature videos, color-changing lamp, or even just having my cockatiel sit and clean himself on my knee while I study. It keeps me focused, and basically, with ADD, you have to figure out ways to work with it.

Good luck! If this is what you really want to do, you have to put in the effort!

[Julius Seizure]

I don't think you have to pay for help. Somebody correct me if I am wrong, but I thought that if you had a learning disability, they had to help you. Free testing, free tutoring, free resources to help you succeed?

It's worth checking at least, OP.

I don't think you are an idiot. I think you haven't figured out what works for you yet.