Strange things found on (or in) a pt.

Published

I've always wondered, especially after hearing about this guy who brought a snake into the ER----what is the strangest thing you've ever found on (or in) a patient?

Ok Ive also had this 400+ lb. woman come in with a yeast infection, Yeah I know not strange yet but Im not done, anyway I take her back to the gyn room and I get a female nurse, me, and then the docs came in a med student, intern, and resident, oh great we have a show goin wonderful, I only requested the intern and I get all 3, well I and carla my best friend we set up for them, well anyways what we see is amazing, she came in complaining of discharge, well it just so happens we see this large brown like plant growing thing and we think tumor, well anyways she tells us its a sweet potato and her mother told her to put it there because its supposed to stop the drippage lol, and well we pull it out and there is some discharge or shall I say drippage lol, anyway our residents and attendings have got this habit going on us nurses are trying to break, yes they will actually stick there nose right up to any pus or drainage to see if it smells infectious which is gross if you ask me, well our great resident tells our lovely student to do this, hold it lol, anyways he goes to do this particular sniff test when its like a god send she goes into a full gran mal seizure and her legs lock around his head, now all of us are laughing so hard we cant help him I and carla are on the floor rolling, the intern over by the sink laughing his guts out and the resident trying but laughing to hard to do anything, to pull these massive legs apart, well and Im thinking oh god Im supervisor what am I going to tell this poor kids parents, "Oh Im sorry but your son died while examining a patient you see he stuck his nose in her cooch because of a lady partsl infection and she had a seizure and suffocated him with her legs, anyway I finally got some ativan in her and her legs pried off his head. lol, hes alright except that carla and me still laugh everytime we see him now, hes an attending.

:lol2::lol2::lol2: This is soooo funny!! Poor guy!! It's a good thing that lady didn't have diarrhea at the time.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Every time I read one of these I wonder if the pt ever stopped to think that in order to have the potato lodged in his rectum from falling on it in the garden, he would most likely be naked. If he was wearing clothes, the pants would have prevented the potato from lodging in his rectum.

Unless he was wearing a dress...

It's amazing how clumsy people get when they're naked.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I had a 24 yo female present with that ohh so sweet complaint of thinking she has one tampoon stuck. The doc went digging for it and found over 20!

What I'm still trying to figure out is---how did they all fit in there????

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER, telemetry.

I took care of a patient that claimed he was kidnapped, blindfolded and hands tied, taken somewhere and forced to eat "little metal balls" and had something shoved up his rectum. He claimed the kidnappers told him that the "little metal balls" were Resin. So, we had to call in a Decon team for possible resin poisoning, which, of course, turned out to be a false claim. The guy did have something up in his rectum, a small glass vial half filled with liquid, like an insulin vial with absolutely no writing on it. The police confiscated it as evidence. What a weird night that was. And, I was a new ER nurse, just off orientation, wondering what the heck I had gotten myself into:chuckle

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Home Care, Hospice, OB.

resin--like the sticky stuff?

or ricin--:confused:the poison???

Up Vote Up Vote ×

----------------

---Quote:-------------------------------------------------------------

Ok Ive also had this 400+ lb. woman come in with a yeast infection, Yeah I know not strange yet but Im not done, anyway I take her back to the gyn room and I get a female nurse, me, and then the docs came in a med student, intern, and resident, oh great we have a show goin wonderful, I only requested the intern and I get all 3, well I and carla my best friend we set up for them, well anyways what we see is amazing, she came in complaining of discharge, well it just so happens we see this large brown like plant growing thing and we think tumor, well anyways she tells us its a sweet potato and her mother told her to put it there because its supposed to stop the drippage lol, and well we pull it out and there is some discharge or shall I say drippage lol, anyway our residents and attendings have got this habit going on us nurses are trying to break, yes they will actually stick there nose right up to any pus or drainage to see if it smells infectious which is gross if you ask me, well our great resident tells our lovely student to do this, hold it lol, anyways he goes to do this particular sniff test when its like a god send she goes into a full gran mal seizure and her legs lock around his head, now all of us are laughing so hard we cant help him I and carla are on the floor rolling, the intern over by the sink laughing his guts out and the resident trying but laughing to hard to do anything, to pull these massive legs apart, well and Im thinking oh god Im supervisor what am I going to tell this poor kids parents, "Oh Im sorry but your son died while examining a patient you see he stuck his nose in her cooch because of a lady partsl infection and she had a seizure and suffocated him with her legs, anyway I finally got some ativan in her and her legs pried off his head. lol, hes alright except that carla and me still laugh everytime we see him now, hes an attending.

Wasn't this story in Echo Heron's last book?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in CARDIAC.

When I was in nursing school, I was doing an ER rotation. There had been an accident on the interstate. Apparently, this guy stole an 18 wheeler full of potatoes, couldn't drive it, and turned it over as he was attempting to get off of the interstate. He was completely covered in dirt as well as the woman who had been with him. He was screaming to beat everything and we just put it off to his cuts and bruises. That was until we turned him over and found a spud lodged in his rectum! I thought the ER doc was going to die from his attempts not to laugh. I still haven't figured out how that potato got in there, unless he was driving in the nude. Oh well, to each their own.:D

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.
What I'm still trying to figure out is---how did they all fit in there????

yeah, i was wondering that, too. must not have been active i guess, if there were that many tampons up there. :no:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I had a 24 yo female present with that ohh so sweet complaint of thinking she has one tampoon stuck. The doc went digging for it and found over 20!

Did she not understand that you're supposed to remove the old one?

We've had experiences with patients who didn't remove patches, or put the new patch on top of the old one. This most commonly happened with nitro, but also with Duragesic, Catapres, or estrogen patches too.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER, CCU.

An Eggplant in the Rectum!!

He went to surgery for removal!! I've never looked at an eggplant the same!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Gyn Onc, OB, L&D, HH/Hospice/Palliative.
An Eggplant in the Rectum!!

He went to surgery for removal!! I've never looked at an eggplant the same!!

OMFG :barf02:, was it at least a 'baby' eggplant??

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Neonatal ICU (Cardiothoracic).
----------------

---Quote:-------------------------------------------------------------

Ok Ive also had this 400+ lb. woman come in with a yeast infection, Yeah I know not strange yet but Im not done, anyway I take her back to the gyn room and I get a female nurse, me, and then the docs came in a med student, intern, and resident, oh great we have a show goin wonderful, I only requested the intern and I get all 3, well I and carla my best friend we set up for them, well anyways what we see is amazing, she came in complaining of discharge, well it just so happens we see this large brown like plant growing thing and we think tumor, well anyways she tells us its a sweet potato and her mother told her to put it there because its supposed to stop the drippage lol, and well we pull it out and there is some discharge or shall I say drippage lol, anyway our residents and attendings have got this habit going on us nurses are trying to break, yes they will actually stick there nose right up to any pus or drainage to see if it smells infectious which is gross if you ask me, well our great resident tells our lovely student to do this, hold it lol, anyways he goes to do this particular sniff test when its like a god send she goes into a full gran mal seizure and her legs lock around his head, now all of us are laughing so hard we cant help him I and carla are on the floor rolling, the intern over by the sink laughing his guts out and the resident trying but laughing to hard to do anything, to pull these massive legs apart, well and Im thinking oh god Im supervisor what am I going to tell this poor kids parents, "Oh Im sorry but your son died while examining a patient you see he stuck his nose in her cooch because of a lady partsl infection and she had a seizure and suffocated him with her legs, anyway I finally got some ativan in her and her legs pried off his head. lol, hes alright except that carla and me still laugh everytime we see him now, hes an attending.

Wasn't this story in Echo Heron's last book?

Sure was..... I thought it sounded familiar!!!

What ever happened to people just having sex with a person??:uhoh3:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion