Strange things found on (or in) a pt.

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I've always wondered, especially after hearing about this guy who brought a snake into the ER----what is the strangest thing you've ever found on (or in) a patient?

Another case involved a 40ish y/o man who came in with a whole unpeeled, unlubricated baking potato in his rectum. When asked how it happened, (like we didn't know) he claimed he was "gardening," and lost his balance, falling on the potato in the garden. Yeah.

Every time I read one of these I wonder if the pt ever stopped to think that in order to have the potato lodged in his rectum from falling on it in the garden, he would most likely be naked. If he was wearing clothes, the pants would have prevented the potato from lodging in his rectum.

Unless he was wearing a dress...

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OK, this is second hand, but I believe the source. So you know those floaty water noodles for the pool? Well this guy had one all the way up there. The entire 8 feet or however long they are. It was all compacted in his rectum and descending colon. The Xray showed the top of his descending colon bumped up against his diaphragm!!!! When do you stop yourself and say, what the heck am I doing? When do you stop shoving it up there? WHEN?????

:no: :uhoh3:

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Specializes in Neonatal ICU (Cardiothoracic).
Every time I read one of these I wonder if the pt ever stopped to think that in order to have the potato lodged in his rectum from falling on it in the garden, he would most likely be naked. If he was wearing clothes, the pants would have prevented the potato from lodging in his rectum.

Unless he was wearing a dress...

I can just see that 40 y/o biker type guy gardening commando in a sundress...

:lol2:

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Specializes in ER/SICU/Med-Surg/Ortho/Trauma/Flight.
I can just see that 40 y/o biker type guy gardening commando in a sundress...

:lol2:

:lol2::lol2::lol2::roll:roll:roll

Lol!! If these people only realized what there doing and how ridiculous it sounds!!!lol

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I had worked the ER for many years but we are in a rural area, guy presented with complaints of abd. pain. I examined him and when I listened to his belly heard a strange vibrating sound. Went to the ER doc and told him and he said you don't know what that is? Well it didn't cross my mind but he had a vibrator stuck in his rectum, ended up in surgery to get it out.

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While working for an ob/gyn, the md pulled a contact lens case out of a pt's lady parts. What was she thinking?

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Well this got me 5min of fame with Jay Leno. I still work for a local vol.fire dept.as a medic. The call came in, in the wee hours of sat. mornin. the pt. presented to me with a pad lock around one of his scrottems that had swollen about 3 times in size and ugly lookin in color, with nasty discharge. To make this short it turns out he had this on for about two weeks and had broken off the key in the lock all the way up to trying to use a saws-all. Now here is the part I tried to find out and that was how much did the lock smith get for picking that lock?

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Specializes in Home Care, Hospice, OB.
while working for an ob/gyn, the md pulled a contact lens case out of a pt's lady parts. what was she thinking?

that she wanted a clear view of who she was "sleeping" with???:lol2:

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Well this got me 5min of fame with Jay Leno. I still work for a local vol.fire dept.as a medic. The call came in, in the wee hours of sat. mornin. the pt. presented to me with a pad lock around one of his scrottems that had swollen about 3 times in size and ugly lookin in color, with nasty discharge. To make this short it turns out he had this on for about two weeks and had broken off the key in the lock all the way up to trying to use a saws-all. Now here is the part I tried to find out and that was how much did the lock smith get for picking that lock?

What I'm dying to know is-----why did he have it on in the first place? It's not like anyone was going to steal his testicle.

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Specializes in NICU.
What I'm dying to know is-----why did he have it on in the first place? It's not like anyone was going to steal his testicle.

:chuckle

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Specializes in NICU.

I had a clinical rotation in the ER recently. The nurse I was with told me about a guy who came in with a remote control in his rectum. Apparently he was a "frequent flyer" and always had something in his rectum.

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I Have Seen A Lot Working In The Er. Once There Was An Obese Lady That Came In With Oreo Cookies Stuck Under Her Breast, Another Man Had A Mayonaisse Jar Stuck In His Rectum And The Worst Was The Man That Came In For Side Pain And The X Ray Showed That A Gerbal Had Bit And Died On His Kidney

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